Author Topic: Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?  (Read 703 times)

Awesomecakes

  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 253
Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?
« on: March 11, 2019, 06:42:55 pm »
Hi sissies. Just wanted to get your thoughts. It's been more than a year since I found out about my husband's infidelity. I must admit, there are days that I still think about it but I try not to bring it up since it would only end up with an argument. But there are days that I feel like the pain's still here and he makes me feel I don't have the right to be hurt since it's part of the past.

To be fair with him, he was very eager to regain my trust. He chose us.  He asked for forgiveness. He promised that he'll do everything and anything to make our marriage work. But now, I can't help but think is it just because that I was pregnant when I found out about it and too weak to handle the situation? Why do I feel like what he did to win me back is not enough? But for him, he has done everything and it's just me who can't move on?

A part of me still wants to fix our marriage. But I feel so lost now and I don't know myself anymore. I don't know where to start. We're still living together, staying in one bed but I don't feel loved anymore. We've been sexless for months now. I can even count on my one hand the number of times we did it in the last year. I tried to bring it up but he said we're just too busy and tired. I just feel like he's totally lost his interest and he's no longer attracted to me.

No one knows about how I feel right now and what happened in the past even my family and closest friends. I decided to keep it to protect him and our family.  I feel so alone. :(

What should I do?

iceheaven31

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 509
Re: Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2019, 10:31:10 am »
Have you undergone marriage counselling? Minsan, hindi kayang kayong dalawa lang ang magresolba ng ganitong problema. Baka may mga bagay pa na hindi niyo maidentify that needs more fixing.

And also, take one day at a time. Probably a year is not yet enough. Do not rush yourself.

nerddict

  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 215
Re: Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2019, 10:50:02 am »
^Hays. Hugs sis. Please do not be afraid mag-open up sa mga closest and trusted friends mo. It will help, trust me. Plus prayers. Kapit lang kay Lord. Learn to lift things to the Lord para yung burden na nararamdaman mo, gumaan kahit papaano.

I know people na kahit isang dekada na ang incident of fidelity, hindi pa din nakakalimutan yung nangyari. It takes time talaga. Everyday you need to make a choice. Pero isaalang-alang mo din ang sarili mo sa pagpili mo sis.

NinaSarah

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 20
Re: Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2019, 07:26:47 pm »
my story sa loob ng 22 years namin..
tinago ko lang lahat to the point nagkasakit ako. depression, panic attack, anxiety. cycle lang. mahuli.. babalik.. patawarin.. uulit ulit..
now pagod na rin ako.. i am now 45yo. planning to leave him na this year.

payo ko lang, if d na masaya, if wala ng tiwala, maghiwalay na lang..

lilu

  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 200
Re: Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2019, 11:06:15 am »
Hi sis, kailangan magpakatatag ka if you decide to stay. Masyadong long process ang pag recover after infidelity. Lalo na't hindi mo nakikitaan ng effort ang lalaki to make it up to you. Minsan nagsasama lang kayo for the sake of the kids, or minsan dependent ang wife because no work, no income to start, and lastly hindi nya alam kung saan sya pupulitin. Actually, Ive been there before pero may mga dahilan din ako kung bakit di ako umalis. Ang laki kasi ng i-ninvest kong panahon to build our family... sacrificing time, career etc.. Tapos hahayaan kong masira lang pinaghirapan kong mabuo? No, hindi ako sumuko.

Parang nagdaan sa butas ng karayom yung husband ko to gain my trust. Ilang years din yun. Napatawad ko din naman sya and he promised to fix things and patch it up. Nag adjust din ako sa mga pagkukulang ko, nag ayus-ayos ako. And alam mo sis sa sobrang over thinker ko, naiisip ko mga mangyayari once I choose to stay or leave. Madami nakong scenario na naisip pero mas maganda kung nag stay ako. Mas maganda din kumausap ng kaibigan. One or two will do just to keep you sane. Kailangan mo ng kausap sis. Kasi sila din yung magbibigay sayo ng consequences kung ginawa mo ito, ganyan... keep yourself busy or pamper youself din, at syempre magpakatatag ka.
 


bwiset12

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 92
Re: Recovering from infidelity: How did you do it?
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2019, 12:47:38 am »
Saktong napa gt ako at maghahanap talaga ko ng ganitong topic.
Almost 6 years na din ang nakakalipas ng malagpasan ko ang isa sa malaking trial na nangyari sa buhay ko. Yun ay nung nangaliwa si partner. Pinatawad ko naman na sya. Maayos naman kami. Pero mahirap makalimot. LDR kami. LDR din kami nung nangyari yun at buntis ako sa bunso namin nung naganap yun.
After 1 year ng affair nagbalik loob. Tinanggap ko naman, yun lang naanakan nya yung kabit nya.
Siguro kaya din di ako maka get over, kasi nagkaron ng bunga. Hanggang ngayon parating naiisip ko pa din mga ginawa nya. Pero sinasarili ko na lang. Bihirang bihira ako mag open sa kanya kasi nga naman para sa kanya tapos naman na yun. Himala na lang siguro kung  makakalimutan ko pa yun. Grabe lang talaga ang epekto. Mahirap na din talagang magtiwala pa.

 


Latest Stories

Load More Stories
Close