Hi sissies. Sadly, I'm joining this thread to get more insights.
Everything is still fresh and ang dami dami ko ng binasa online to help me understand and recover. I'm glad I found GT and real women who share their experiences.
We are newly weds, together for 8 years before tying the knot and tomorrow is our 9th month. It?s been a week since he confessed pero ang hirap makuha sa kanya yun totoo. Last month Black Saturday, I received an FB message from a person na hindi ko kilala saying na may kabit ang asawa ko. Syempre di ako makapaniwala, sobrang tiwala ko sa kanya. Di ko alam ang gagawin ko. I tried to strategize pano ko mahuhuli. Sa lahat ng binasa ko ang sabi wag magpadala at maging emotional, gather proof. Pero di ko kinaya. He was out with friends, masama pakiramdam ko nun at tinawagan ko sya agad. At pauwi na raw sya. In short I confronted him that night and he denied it. Andaming nasabi. Inamin ko rin sya kanya na felt something was wrong and it crossed my mind few months back pa na he might be having an affair. Pero naniwala pa rin ako sa kanya na hindi totoo at may mga naninira lang sa kanya dun sa dati nyang company. He transferred to a new company kasi 2 weeks after we were married.
Weeks passed and hindi ako makampante. Hindi na namin napag usapan. Nagreresearch pa ako anong pwedeng gawin. I tried putting a tracking app sa phone nya. But sa hirap ng installation naubusan ako ng time at hindi nagstealth mode yung app. In short napansin nya may ginawa ako sa phone so nabuking ako. Hindi kame nakapag usap agad nun because of work. Until he opened up the topic on a Friday night. Again, mahabang usapan. Very emotional on my part and until umamin sya there was someone before we got married (unnamed person) pero it was more of talking/ flirting and he defined it as emotional cheating. Syempre masakit kahit ano pa ang definition nun. The following day, I kept pushing and pushing, asking for more details na ayaw nyang ibigay. His point is tapos na yun, he was sorry, sobrang apologetic and he wanted to move on ayusin namin. Pero makulit ako until he admitted the truth. Totoo yung sinabi sa FB na may kabit sya pero tapos na raw, and again ayaw nyang magbigay ng details. He said he doesn?t want to hurt me more with the details, kasi it?s his fault, nagkamali sya, inaako nya, pero tapos na raw, he asked and begged for my forgiveness pero di ko pa mabigay. Ups and downs of emotions throughout that long weekend. Until I pieced things together sa mga nasabi nya. He met his Millennial Kabit sa dati nyang office, it started with tuksuhan, tapos gradually kwentuhan. From there nag-evolve, sya raw nangulit kay MK at sya ang nagpursue. May physical encounters and nagkaroon ng emotional attachment. At yung sinasabi nyang matagal ng tapos, ay last month lang pala.
Ang sakit. The betrayal, the lost of trust. Ang sakit, because we lost so much these past 10 months as a couple and we could have started a family na sana. At ang dami kong realizations.
Trust your gut feel. Totoo ang women?s intuition I felt something was wrong early into our marriage kasi I didn?t get that newlywed feeling and andaming wala from him and us. I noticed little things din but I ignored it.
Humahanga ako sa mga wives na kayang hindi maging emotional. Nag-iisip muna, gather evidence etc. at kung dumating ang confrontation composed pa rin.
Dumating si MK just before we got married. Alam nya nag may GF at ikakasal na that time pero pumatol pa rin siya at tinuloy tuloy pa rin nila even after kameng ikinasal.
I kicked him out kasi di ko kayang tanggapin and nangyari kay MK. Sa sobrang galit ko sa kanila dalawa, nagpadala ako ng email kay MK & copied published email adds ng company nila. No sordid details but a life lesson for a Millennial Kabit. Para malaman nya that her actions have consequences. I cannot accept that she's a victim here because she knew from the start. It was consensual on her part, hindi sapilitan yun. Pumasok sya ng kusa sa ganong sitwasyon at dahil ba nagkabukingan na, VICTIM na rin sya?!
And that email was meant to hurt him and her, and in my anger, consequences be damned. Maybe in time, I might regret it, but in that moment narelease ko lahat ng anger ko sa kanilang dalawa and it helped. Mas nakakausap ko na ng mahinanon ngaun ang asawa ko. Pero I know na may resistance sa part nya, kasi he got hurt and angry sa ginawa ko. Disappointed raw sya.
Now, I?m a mess of emotions, still left confused, angry and hurt. It?s a cycle na parang masisiraan na ako ng bait. My husband and I are still communicating and he comes to the condo after work then uuwi sa nanay nya after. We talk a little bit but we don?t know what to do yet. We said so many things, and ang daming realizations about us individually and as a couple. We will try counselling, or at least mag seek muna ng advice how to start and decide from there. Kung kaya pang i-save, we are hoping for the best.
