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I just recently discovered that my husband did it again - paying for sex (gustong gusto nya yung mga estudyanteng binubugaw) . Two years ago he was involved in the same activity for almost 1 year - di sya tumigil kahit alam nyang alam ko na. kahit ilang beses ko na syang nahuli.. Its a cycle..mahuhuli..hihingi ng tawad..titigil.. then babalik ulit sa dati. Everytime na nahuhuli ko sya parang napaka among tupa.. Lahat ng pngako ginagawa.. Minsan naiisip ko.. manhid na yata ako sa mga ginagawa nya.. pero nandun pa rin ang sakit. sabi nya, wala naman daw involve na feelings yun..kasi kami naman daw ng mga anak nya ang mahal nya at ayaw nya kaming mawala. Nakakasawa na rin minsan.. kung di lang mga anak ko..matagal ko na syang iniwan. Ngayon, nagmamakaawa na naman sya ng bigyan ko na naman sya ng another chance at talagang di na daw nya uulitin... Hanggan kelan ba dapat tayong magpatawad?
kahit ilang beses ko na syang nahuli.. Its a cycle..mahuhuli..hihingi ng tawad..titigil.. then babalik ulit sa dati.
Thanks everyone for your messages.Please don't judge me if I chose to stay with my husband. Although I'll be honest, I don't know if I can still trust him again. What I know is - I want my family intact but I how can I do that if I'm too broken. I am still having nightmares. It's been years from the first time he cheated and half a year since he did it for the second time. I can see he's doing he's best to fix everything but I just feel like may kulang. Is it right ba to expect more from him to fix my insecurities? Like words of affirmation? or sex? I feel like hindi na siya attracted sakin lke the way he;s attracted to his ex. Ewan ko I'm just paranoid siguro.I want to consult a doctor and maybe start from there. I tried going to CEFAM but it didn't work for me. I felt like I'm being forced to fix our marriage without fixing my self first. Or maybe it's just me who has a problem. I don't know. I'm so lost.We're okay right now. Doing our own thing and usual routine as a family. We go out together, attend family gatherings, attend to our son's needs but I feel like may kulang parin.
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