In the game of love, some players are more skilled than others. This is why you’ve had beaus that made you squeal every time they sent you a text message and experience a gaping hole whenever they didn’t.
And then there were the suitors that didn’t quite suit: the Casanova who whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you braced your nostrils against his bad breath, the gentle soul who baby-talked to you as though he were cajoling a pudgy puppy, the besotted stalker (this is self-explanatory).
They were the ardent but unwanted admirers whose excessive attentions embarrassed both themselves and the object of their affection—you. But they did make an interesting point of discussion, which leads us to the topic of this article: the most cringe-worthy courting moments you’ve ever been subjected to.
Read on to find out what our readers divulged.
"There was this guy who gave me flowers during my high school graduation. Apparently, 8 years later, my birthday is still his password." – Regina Flowers*, 22, banker
"I was having an intense discussion with a group of college friends when this guy who was courting me joined the circle. The two of us had a pretty good conversation but I knew it wasn't going to work out between us. This was validated when I turned to look at him and saw an enormous booger on his cheek. It was a vivid green." – Ling Uy*, 27, teacher
"I was on a jeepney ride home with this guy who had been courting me for a while now. The vehicle was packed. Suddenly, the guy started belting out cheesy ballads while looking at me, love-struck. People in the jeep were starting to stare and I was dying of humiliation so I asked him to stop. He adamantly refused, saying that the songs captured every feeling he had for me." – Nikki Marquez*, 18, college student
"A manliligaw once gifted my mom with tinapa—when we weren’t even dating! Plus points?" – Maria Hechanova, 27, teacher
"I always cringe when the guy courting me talks in pa-cute language—if he says things like kamuzta or eat na me. That’s so wrong (and it happens to me all the time)." – Meggie Valdes, 22, advertising account manager
"I once had a gorgeous date; a very popular college alum. Unfortunately, I couldn’t understand anything he was saying—he grappled with his English throughout the evening." – Grace Zorrilla, 50, housewife
"A guy with whom I’d had a fling used this metaphor to describe me: I was the moon, and he was a bug, looking up at the moon. And then he started to talk to me about being the mother of his children. Puke." – Ann Mendoza, 25, singer
"On our first date, a guy asked me to show him my armpits. When I asked him why, he explained that nice, clean armpits were his fetish. I didn’t give in—but I did give him a second date." – Ria Tinio, 35, writer
"I was on a date with a guy in a fancy restaurant when the bill arrived. It was double what he expected because the waiter had mistakenly doubled all our orders. He was short on cash so I had to chip in, but it still wasn’t enough. In the end, he called his mom to pay." – Leah Figueroa, 45, sales manager
"I was the vocalist in a band in high school, and our very last gig was a batch concert called Eximo. As I was singing, a guy in the audience (who was a friend of a friend) took a liking to me. So much so, in fact, that he took the M from one of the Eximo banners and ripped it into the shape of an R (the first letter of my name). Then he put it on his shirt for all the world to see. He was cute, so I went out with him after that, but not for long—he was kind of dumb!" – Rina Tecson, 22, fashion and beauty assistant
"There was a time I didn’t really feel like leaving my house, so this guy would drop by and visit me quite a bit. Out of boredom, he brought his old photo albums so that we would have something to browse through. While I was pointing to his baby pictures and commenting on them, he suddenly grabbed my hand, kissed it, and abruptly said he could no longer contain his feelings for me." - Rowie Cruz*, 40, attorney-at-law
"When I was in college, I had this nerdy classmate who would photocopy all his notes and handouts for me (and who was a bit of a stalker). The clincher was when he went to extremely creepy lengths to compile photos of Orlando Bloom to give me because he found out I was crushing on Legolas." – Chel Fernandez, 26, senior product manager
"On a trip to the beach, I met this big, burly guy who glued himself to me for the entire day. We were swimming in the ocean with friends when he suddenly held me by the waist and began to rap an impromptu rhyme that he’d created just for me. I don’t recall most of it (it was pretty bad), but the verse that comes to mind every time is: 'Check her from the front, she’s so fine / But you should see that booty from behind.'" – An Salvador, 23, writer
"I was having dinner with this suitor and we started talking about toilet habits. He told me (with a serious face) that whenever he undresses any time of the day, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom (number two!). So I asked him what would happen if we ever did 'it'—would he still feel like going to the bathroom after he was stripped naked? He answered, 'Malamang.' That was our last dinner." – Sara Cruz*, 57, restaurant owner
"A suitor whom I’d rejected took an overdose of drugs and wrote me a suicide letter saying he’d rather die than live without me. I think he’s still alive." – Elise Cortes, 49, singer
"In high school, there was this really ugly guy who liked me. He kept bugging me for the longest time, even if I didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Then, when my dad passed away, the guy cut class just to attend the wake. I was forced to introduce him to all my relatives (like he was my boyfriend!). He even wrote my mom a letter saying he would be the one to take care of me, now that my dad was gone. I really didn’t like him." – Diwa Tiongson, 21, web video specialist
*Changed last name
(Photo source: sxc.hu)