single_girls_guide_summer_flings.jpgTaking a vacation means you’re away from work stresses and the people you see every day, and these are the exact same reasons why it’s one of the best times to have a fling: no stress means you’ll be prettier and more fun to be around, and new people means infinite possibilities!

Whether or not you’ve had a fling before, here are a few tips to take along when you go on your upcoming vacay, so you can come back refreshed and rejuvenated in every possible way.


Even though you know it’s just a fling, pick a “potential fling partner” using the same good sense you’d use for picking “potential boyfriend” back home. In short, stick to guys you intuitively feel “safe” with.

The reason for this is simple: today’s world is fraught with date rape, hidden cameras, drugged drinks, and psychologically imbalanced people (some of whom happen to be very good looking). Remember, you want a great vacation—you do not want to end up being a cautionary tale.

Even before you leave your house, tell yourself you’re going to find at least three safe potential fling partners within the first day of your holiday. Besides setting a fun, positive tone for your entire trip, you’re also programming your mind (both conscious and subconscious) to recognize what you’re looking for when you see it—making it more likely for you to find it!


If you’ve been single for some time, you know that one of the potential landmines of going out on dates with people you interact with on a regular basis is the constant question of how it will affect your friendship (or “working relationship”). No such landmines exist when you have a fling with someone you probably won’t ever see again after your vacation—which is why the flirting gets more fun!

Remember that when we talk about flirting, we’re talking simply about that kind of light, fun, satisfying interaction you can have with the opposite sex that makes you delightfully aware that he’s a man—and makes you feel deliciously feminine in his presence.

Here are some tips for flirting up a storm:

- Be approachable. If you’re on vacation with friends, make sure to spend time on your own away from them, and display open body language when you do: look at people in the eye, have a half-smile on your lips, and turn your seat and feet towards the direction of people you’d be okay with approaching you.

- Initiate conversations by playing up the tourist part. If he’s a local in the area, you can ask him to give you a tour. If he’s a tourist just like you, you can compare notes on where you’ve been so far, and make plans to explore other sights together.

- Focus on being interested rather than on acting interesting. Ask questions, but don’t be easily impressed by him—and say so when you are!

- Most importantly, focus on making connections and having fun.


Having fun still means you need to follow the basic safety rules of dating:

- Go out in groups when you’re still just getting to know your fling. This will allow you to observe how he deals with other people (does he treat everyone well, or does he have impulse control issues?), and helps you decide if it’s okay to spend time alone with him later.

- Make sure your friends know who you’re with and where you’ll be going. Agree on “emergency signals” that you can communicate via call or text.

- Never get drunk (set your limit at “slightly buzzed”) so you can still make good choices. Never leave your drink unattended.

- Finally, if you ever get the sense of “something not being right,” listen to your intuition and bolt out of there. It’s better to be wrong and apologize later, than to get into situations that you cannot reverse.

And what if your fling turns out to be an overall great guy, and your flirting and spending time together advances into “touching territory?” Then great! But we do strongly suggest that you limit the physical aspects of your fling to MOMOL (Make-Out-Make-Out-Lang), simply because it makes the most sense for your own protection and safety, health-wise and emotionally.


It happens sometimes. This guy who was just supposed to be a fling makes you start wondering “What if?” and in your mind, you start having fantasies of a future together outside of your too-short vacation.

While it’s true that some great real-life romances have started out as flings, you need to remember that this is the exception, not the rule. So say goodbye gracefully, write about him in your journal or blog a few times (without revealing his name or other details), and thank him for the great time you had together.

Then return home with the happy affirmation that you are definitely capable of attracting great guys... and the confidence of knowing if you can do it there, then you can do it anywhere.

Aileen Santos is a certified relationships coach who helps shy single men and women find and keep the love they need. Email her at aileensantos[at] to reserve your slot for her relationship coaching program this May 2010, or find out more about her at

(Photo © Wackerhausen)

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