A recent American study has figured out what exactly makes breakups so painful (aside from the fact that you were dumped by someone you were very much in love with), as this Time.com article reports. Researchers found that the parts of the brain that regulated feelings of reward, motivation, physical pain, craving, and addiction were the same parts involved in the pain of being rejected by your significant other. This is why the heartache tied to a breakup feels so excruciating and seems to go on for so long—it’s not something you can actually control.
For more details on this study, read the full article on Time.com.
Recovering from a bad breakup? Here are some suggestions to help you (recently) single girls get over your exes—and get on with your lives. Click on a tip to learn more about it, or simply read on!
- Get some distance
- Put away all mementos of your relationship
- Keep busy
- Enjoy the company of family and friends
- Give it time
Searching for more Single Girl’s Guides? Check out the following:
- The Single Girl’s Guide to Blind Dates
- The Single Girl's Guide to Going out Alone
- The Single Girl's Guide to Summer Flings
- The Single Girl's Guide to Traveling Alone
- The Single Girl's Guide to Surviving Valentine's Day
- The Single Girl's Guide to Surviving the Holidays
GET SOME DISTANCE
A lot of women continue to meet and correspond with their exes immediately after the break-up, which makes it difficult to let go of the romantic feelings. While there are some people who can jump right back to being friends after ending their relationships, it just doesn’t work that way with most folks. This eHow.com article says that “time apart is essential” to getting over an ex. Don’t give yourself false hope or get stuck in a rut of denial by wanting to stay close—give yourself some breathing room so you can adapt to the fact that you and your ex are no longer together.
PUT AWAY ALL MEMENTOS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
It’s hard to get over someone when you’ve got traces of him all over your house and work space. Why put yourself through the agony? It’s time to break out the boxes and pack up any pictures, letters, presents, and any other mementos that bring your ex to mind (this includes erasing couple shots you’ve got saved on Facebook or in your hard drive). You should also consider giving back his stuff—like the jacket you never returned because it smelled just like him. “Keeping anything that reminds you of your ex out of sight will help you to think about him less,” shares this HubPages.com article. Remember, out of sight, out of mind.
Loneliness and self-pity always sneak up on you when your mind isn’t otherwise occupied. Don’t fall into this sappy trap. Keep yourself busy by concentrating on a work project, hitting the gym, or taking up a new hobby—in fact, try it all at once! Doing so will shift your focus away from the heartache and give you a sense of purpose—something that is often lacking in the brokenhearted. Just be sure that you channel your energies into a positive vessel—this EzineArticles.com article cautions against activities that may “trigger bad memories or fits of unhappiness.”
ENJOY THE COMPANY OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Spend time with family and friends—the love, compassion, and understanding you receive from them will help ease the pain of the breakup. This Wikihow.com article sees friends and family as a “comforting net”—a support system you can always rely on to pick you back up when you’re feeling down in the dumps. Being around people who care about you will draw you out of your heartbroken husk and give you a sense of wholeness again, even without your “other half.”
GIVE IT TIME
Time heals all wounds, as they say, so don’t get frustrated if you still can’t seem to get over your ex no matter what you do. We each deal with our emotions differently—the pain of a breakup may pass quickly for some and persist deeply in others. Be patient and persevere. It will be difficult at first, but with time, you’ll be able to let go of your old relationship and open yourself up to new possibilities—count on it.
(Photo courtesy of Universal Pictures)