There is now a new word for yet another classic paasa move—benching. Ghosting is old news! Just in case some of you aren’t familiar with "ghosting," this is when someone you’re dating or regularly talking to just disappears from your life. Your texts are left unanswered; your calls, unreturned. No explanation whatsoever.
We know what you’re thinking. That’s it! You've been rejected. You've been cheated on. You've been ghosted. That HAS to be it, right? Wrong. You can now also be benched.
Benching is when someone is no longer interested in you but wants to keep his or her options open so instead of breaking it off, the bencher is always in a state of nagpaparamdam lang. He doesn’t follow a regular pattern of communication. Just when you think you’re over it, you’ll receive a friendly, non-committal text every few days or weeks. You make plans to meet up, but for some reason, life gets in the way. (Life doesn’t actually get in the way. He just cancels on you all the time.) This is the ultimate power play, because you can’t hate "the nice guy." He’s still texting you and asking about your life and showing concern for your well-being.
To some women, this could be worse than being rejected upfront or cheated on or even ghosted. In those scenarios, you can grieve the relationship. You can be angry. You can hate him. And you can move on. But when you’ve been benched, umaasa ka pa rin—until he finds someone he actually likes and ghosts you.