(Photo by pedrosimoes7 via Flickr Creative Commons)

possesive_boyfriend_inside_2.jpg3. ASSURE HIM THAT THERE’S NO NEED FOR JEALOUSY.

Jealousy and possessiveness can be deeply rooted in insecurity. For reasons that may be known only to him, your guy might think that he’ll never be good enough for you, and this mindset may make him selfish of you and the time you spend together. Don’t feed his insecurity. Value the time you spend together by giving him your undivided attention; put your phone on silent, and don’t answer e-mails even if your Blackberry is buzzing away. This may be easier said than done--especially for those women who need to be wired all the time--but it will send a clear and positive message that you love being with him and don’t want to be anywhere else  when you’re together.

If all else fails and he continues to try to change or control you, put your foot down. If you dressed a certain way or were friends with a certain group of people when you two met, then why should he try to change you now that you’re together? If he understands that you’re committed to him and your relationship, then what you wear and who you’re friends with shouldn’t be a problem.  Clothes and the company you keep should not be dictated by the presence or absence of a man in your life, so stand up for your right to make your own choices.


Being overly possessive and controlling can be a sign of other traits that are far less desirable. It can also be a sign of a potentially abusive partner. Does he really care about you, or does he want to keep you all to himself and cut you off from your other friends so that you’ll be dependent on him? According to NZ Girl,  “Possessive partners are great manipulators and can turn even the most black-and-white situations into something that is to their advantage. The key to finding out if your boyfriend is possessive is to take a long, hard look at your relationship and decide if you feel stifled, or if you’re afraid to do anything without your partner’s ‘permission.’” If your partner’s possessiveness is cutting you off from the rest of the world, know that this behavior is not healthy, and get out while you can.

(Photo by michi003 via Flickr Creative Commons)
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