Why do I want to be single again and break up with my husband?
Nung 1st pregnancy ko, pinagbawal ng OB na sumakay sa dulo ng jeep kasi maalog daw dun. maselan sa pingabubuntis ko. Explained it to my husband kung bakit di pwede dun but he always insisted kasi daw mahirap umakyat/baba sa jeep. Ayun, 3 mos pa lang baby ko, nakunan ako. And he blamed my friends na reason daw na nakunan ako but he never blamed himself
Because of my love for him, I lost my friends, my barkada. Coz ayaw nya, bad influence daw. Okay lang dati kasi akala ko, I can live with that. Love lang namin sa isat-isa ang important. Only to realize in the end that I led a very lonely life. I never got to be invited to weddings nor experience being a ninang, or invited to birthday parties.
Nong pinagbubuntis ko yung 3rd child namin, I told him not to take out a loan kasi there is a baby on the way. But he insited coz we need a car daw. He never told me na he finalized na the deal. 2nd hand owner jeep lang pala. ang masaklap pa, hindi nya na-study yung loan terms, ang laki2 ng binawas sa sweldo nya na yung take home pay nya ay 300 pesos/a week na lang. Paano kami mabubuhay nyan, magda-dalawa na yung anak namin? tapos ang laki pa nang ginastos sa jeep na yun na hindi naman napakinabangan.
When I had the 2nd miscarriage with our supposedly 4th child, he was not by my side. I left my kids with the yaya and brought myself to the hospital. Nong dumating sya from his trip, tapos na ang D&C ko, but he chose to go to the kids, hindi nya ako pinuntahan sa Hospital.
2 weeks after my miscarriage, I brought our baby boy to the doctor kasi I can sense that there is something wrong. He never went with us. I took the bad news that my baby is autistic pala, all by myself.
Now, andito kami sa bahay ng nanay ko nakatira. Sabi ko sa kanya mag resign na sya sa trabaho nya para magkasama-sama kami ng mga bata, ayaw nya. Kaya ngayun, I have to deal with my two special children (girl is adhd, boy is autistic), two businesses to manage, and mga parents ko na aalagaan. Habang sya ay may time pang lumabas with photographer friends and mingle with student models.
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Now, who can blame me if I long to be single again..Sorry po if napahaba ang post ko. I just want this off my chest. I have no want to talk to kasi. I don't have any best friends left.