Don’t you love how, the older you get, the better you know yourself?

I’m in my early 20s, so it hasn’t been that long since I was a teenager, but I can’t remember the last time I actually felt like one. So in my downtime, to escape from all the grown-up work stress, I watch coming-of-age dramas.

I’m a sucker for any movie or TV series that fall under this genre. In the span of an hour or two, you relive the innocence and uncertainty and precious, fleeting freedom of your teen years. You watch these stories unfold and you see yourself in their young, conflicted characters, and you finally realize the full meaning of “growing pains.” Because at some point in your life, you got through them.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how a woman’s fashion sense corresponds to where she is in her life. The way I see it, her grasp over her personal style is directly related to her grasp over herself—her knowledge of who she is or, at least, who she’d like to become.

When we are in the process of growing up and discovering who we want to be, that strong sense of self is lacking. It’s masked by youthful illusions and a rebellious sort of conviction that “what you see is what you get.” What we don’t know is how quickly—and frequently—this so-called conviction is going to change.

Then, just like that, you’re an adult. You’ve grown into yourself and out of all your phases, having fleshed out your character and personality. Now, you kind of, sort of know who you are and what you want out of life and how you’d like to be perceived. Now, after years of experimentation and fashion choices you’d rather forget, you know what works for you. Like I said, you know who you are.

And I guess that’s the best thing about growing up. Yes, you’re greeted with an endless factory line of duties and deadlines, and you lose a bit of your childish innocence. Some things you thought would never change are just not the same anymore. But there’s a big payoff, and it’s this: when you finally realize who you are, you can feel comfortable in your own skin, and because of that, the world is a less confusing place. That is something to look forward to.

If you need help with your sense of self, all I can do is send you my support. But if it’s your sense of style that needs a little assistance, I can certainly do better than that. Here’s my primer for Personal Style 101; hopefully, it gives you all the tips you need to achieve your most fitting look. It’s a tough world out there—best we meet it in full regalia!

(Flashbox and article photos from Breakfast at Tiffany’s courtesy of Paramount Pictures)