Lucy-Torres Gomez is an achiever, to say the least. Whereas once she was simply known as Richard Gomez’s lovely wife, the September 2010 cover girl for Good Housekeeping has since made a name for herself as a talk show host, dancing queen, Red Cross advocate, lifestyle writer, consistent Best Dressed and Most Beautiful awardee, and just recently, a congresswoman for Ormoc, Leyte. What’s most amazing, however, is the fact that she has been able to accomplish so much for herself without jeopardizing the state of her marriage. In fact, 12 years after their fairytale wedding, Lucy and Richard are going stronger than ever.
But preserving a union that could very well be called the local version of Brad and Angelina doesn’t come without its challenges. Lucy tells Good Housekeeping, “A good marriage does not just happen. I think Richard and I are on the same page in that we inherently know that for our relationship to flourish and be rock solid, as a couple, we have to invest a lot of ourselves into it.”
Truly, it takes a lot of love, patience, perseverance, and hard work to make a marriage, well, work. Want to know how Lucy did it? Click on a title to find out about it or simply read on:
- Be sensitive
- Spend time together—and time apart
- Communicate, communicate, and communicate
- Take it one day at a time
- Never give up
Lucy says that after living with her husband for all these years, she has learned to be attuned to and mindful of his emotional state—this way, she can avoid unnecessary friction. “You become very sensitive to each other’s needs and feelings. You know how far you can push; you do not abuse your spouse’s tolerance level.”
SPEND TIME TOGETHER—AND TIME APART
“We make it a point to spend quality time together whenever we can, whatever the day,” Lucy tells Good Housekeeping. Not only is this a great way to check in with your spouse consistently, but it also helps you keep the romance going even when there is no special occasion.
At the same time, Lucy says it is important to give your partner space and time to grow on their own. “We genuinely enjoy each other’s company but we give each other time apart to pursue different interests [and] embrace different passions.”
COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE
One of men’s greatest woes about women is that we don’t say what we mean—if we say anything at all. But how can we expect conflict to be resolved when the other party is completely unaware of the issue? Lucy says that in such circumstances, it is best to take the direct approach. “Richard has always told me that he is not a manghuhula, he cannot read my mind, so if there is something I do not like or that has upset me, I should just go ahead and tell him.”
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME
Lucy sees her relationship as a “daily commitment,” one that is nurtured, improved, and fortified by the efforts that she and Richard make on a day-to-day basis. This keeps their union “steady and real and sturdy,” as she puts it.
NEVER GIVE UP
Want out? Don’t even think about it. Lucy attributes the strength and longevity of her marriage to the fact that she has never considered leaving it. “As far as I am concerned, there just is no plan B. Not making our marriage work just is not an option.”
To read more about Lucy, grab the September 2010 issue of Good Housekeeping, out now.
(Photos by Sara Black)