When it comes to stag parties, The Hangover movies are indelibly at the back of our minds. But as the bride, do you really have cause for concern when your man’s bachelor party rolls around? We’ve asked a few guys, and here’s what they had to say:
“May mga alam akong groom noon na nagloko nang konti nung bachelor's night. Pero ibig sabihin lang ‘nun dati pa nila ‘yun nagagawa. Kasi ‘yung mga alam kong good boys, hanggang alak lang talaga. Kung ‘di nila kaya gawin ‘yun ‘nung boyfriend/girlfriend pa lang sila, less likely na gagawin ‘yun sa bachelor's night.” - Jules, IT consultant
“If you trust your future husband and you know the people that he’s gonna be with and you know that they’re proper—that they respect you, they respect your man, and they respect your relationship—I don’t think there’s anything to be concerned about. Usually talaga, inom, talk about the wife, talk about the girlfriend, talk about the future, ganoon. Most guys are mature enough for that, kasi majority of the bachelor parties I’ve gone to, umiinom lang kami, and we try to enjoy the night lang with typical guy stuff na inuman, kwentuhan, gaguhan. [The guy’s friends are] just there to get the groom drunk talaga.” - Habi, fitness coach
“From my experience, [the bachelor party's] not that wild. Medyo wholesome kasi ‘yung groom, so ayaw niya talaga. May girls, pero hindi naman kinailangang mag-worry. Hindi dapat mag-worry ‘yung future wife, kasi she decided to marry that guy, so she should probably [already] know how the guy would behave. [Though] I think it also depends on what the bride considers as [worrisome, or what is acceptable and what is not]. Is simply having girls bad? Is the whole concept of having a bachelor party bad?” - Julian, software developer
“Actually, I’ve never been to one, pero sa mga kwento ng mga kaibigan ko ang sure, meron talagang strippers. Puwedeng for fun lang siya. Pero minsan kung gago talaga yung friends it [can get pretty] wild. Or minsan dahil lasing na rin sila.” - Bryan, engineer
“Well, tiwala lang naman talaga eh, valid and natural lang naman ‘yung pag-aalala nung babae. Pero kung may tiwala naman siya sa future husband niya, I think wala naman talagang dapat ipag-alala 'yung babae.” - Jio, university lecturer
The takeaway? It all boils down to knowing and trusting your man. As Habi points out, “The guy usually proposes to the girl, meaning may intention ‘yung guy to make the girl happy. So bakit siya gagawa ng kasalanan a month or a day before siya ikakasal, ‘diba? That’s just gonna ruin the whole thing.”
So what's a bride to do?
Open up the topic by talking about your plans.
If you still feel the need to broach the topic, say, just to get it off your chest and keep you from overthinking things, you can start by telling him about your bachelorette party plans.
Talk about how your maid of honor Nikki got swamped with a ton of work and had to bow out of hosting the night, so your party-girl bridesmaid Ces stepped in to take the reins. Open up about how you’re excited and kinda worried, at the same time about what she has in store for you. (You get the picture.) Kicking off the discussion this way will hopefully make him more receptive to what you have to say to him about his bachelor party.
Tell him that you get it, but be clear about the boundaries.
You don't want to come across as a control-freak of a partner tightening your leash around him, especially if he's never done anything to make you doubt his loyalty. Let him know that you get it; saying goodbye to singlehood ought to be celebrated with a bang, and a few wild antics here and there are acceptable. (You are partying it up with Ces, after all.) But there are boundaries.
Ask him about what he’s expecting out of the night. Take in everything he has to say and respond accordingly before bringing up what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with about the whole thing—from having other girls around, to that one friend of his who you know is always out for some mischief.
Be upfront about your expectations OF HIM.
Emphasize how much you trust him and his judgment but you’d appreciate if he’d exercise a bit more restraint when it comes to downing those brewskies. And if he’s as great a guy as you know him to be, he’ll listen carefully to your side before reassuring you that you have nothing to worry about...and stick to his word.
On the night of, a simple, “Enjoy the night! I love you,” should be enough of a reminder for him to stay in line. And as for that friend of his, shoot him a quick text before they go out to paint the town red, if you must. Tell him you hope they enjoy their night, but remind him to take care of your future husband. As long as he doesn't end up like those grooms in the The Hangover, you're good.