Have you ever wondered how some people can bounce back so quickly after getting dumped? Some seek comfort in your friends, while others prefer to lock up themselves in their rooms. Everyone has different coping mechanisms, and it seems that the way you were brought up and wired can be a factor when it comes to recovering from a breakup.
According to a study conducted by researchers at Pace University, the way you deal with heartbreak is linked to what they call “attachment style,” or the way you relate to and rely on others.
Researchers have narrowed down these concepts to three categories:
People with this kind of attachment most likely grew with parents who were emotional unavailable. They were never there for their kids, and skipped special occasions with their family. People with avoidant attachment tend to handle breakups easier because they tend to resist being emotionally attached to others.
It may be confusing when a child grows up with parents who are intrusive yet nurturing. When this happens, a child who transitions into adulthood is left insecure and unaware of what type of treatment to expect. People with anxious attachment tend to be more needy and desperate with their partners, so it’ll be more difficult for people with this attachment style to move on.
When a child grows up with a parent who is unapproachable and stressed, he gets the idea that he can never rely on his parents for basic needs. Because of that, he tends to be fearful of attachment, and will retreat or push away anyone who tries to be close to them. It may be possible that they are the cause of the breakup!
No matter what your attachment style is, if you're currently going through a breakup there are many ways to mend that little heart of yours. Go out, have fun with your friends, and take it one step at a time!