During family reunions, my titas would always, always ask if I already have a boyfriend, only to be visibly let down when I reply in the negative. Then they inevitably ask why I’m still waving my NBSB card at the ripe not-so-old age of 24, to which I almost always answer, ‘eh ganun eh.’
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t have any plans of growing up alone and cranky, surrounded by 18 cats. I’d want to be in a serious relationship one day, and, hopefully in the near future, get married to a guy I’d love forever. And it’s not like I’m living like a nun: I talk to guys, go out on dates, dabble in online dating, and I’ve definitely had my fair share of hot flings, but they just never worked out.
This might be discouraging for some, but personally, it has never bothered me too much.
Not gonna lie, though—I admit that my NBSB status has made me question my self-worth a few times. Sometimes I ask myself, "Bakit nga ba ako single pa hanggang ngayon? Masungit ba ako masyado? Pangit ba ako? Intimidating ba ako? Or are my standards simply too high?"
These episodes of debilitating self-doubt had, on occasion, led to pathetic crying fits, but I have somehow always managed to brush off all these poisonous thoughts after firmly reminding myself that the lack of a love life isn’t the end of the world.
For one thing, I always believe that things happen for a reason—specifically, that I’m just not meant to be with the guys I’ve dated before. Okay, there was this one time I broke down at work after seeing the guy I thought I was dating seriously change his Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship with someone else" (I was quietly ugly-crying in my cubicle—super embarrassing, I know), but with the help of an out-of-town trip with a close gal pal, I got over it real quick. Seriously, it’s his loss, not mine.
Besides, if there’s obviously no chemistry between me and the guy I’m seeing, why would I force it, right? Why should we settle for each other when it would probably be better for both of us to move on and resume our search for someone we’re more compatible with?
And it’s just a matter of perspective: Sure, my boyfriend right now is just about as imaginary as the square root of two, but hey, I’m thriving in my well-paying career, I’m financially stable, I’ve got a supportive family and a solid group of friends I can always depend on, and I’m planning to go backpacking for a couple of months before pursuing my master’s degree next year. At this rate, a boyfriend would just mess up my plans. And you gotta admit, flirting is not fun at all when you’re tied down!
The benevolent Ramon Bautista once said that "there’s more to life than love," and I couldn’t agree more. Who needs a boyfriend? At the moment, it’s definitely not me.