I always knew that I would fall for a guy who was bad news. I pictured him as someone good-looking, maporma, and who wore Davidoff Cool Water or Polo Sport. His killer smile would be enough to take my breath away, and he would be undeniably sweet and romantic. It would be hard not to fall for him, and I was right. I did meet The Guy. He was everything I had wished for, and I fell for him. But the ugly truth is, underneath his angelic face, this boy was all trouble—he was scared of commitment, mabarkada, and a player. But his charms made all my doubts go away.
At first, everything was wonderful. Bad Boy was masungit to others, but to me he was gentle and loving. As time passed, his behavior changed. He snuck out with the boys whenever I was on out-of-town trips, cleaned up his inbox to hide his secrets, and forget about date nights. He knew that I could never muster up enough strength and courage to confront him, much less, break up with him. My dream turned into a nightmare, but I always knew this day would come.
Long story short, he left me. I felt then that I deserved every pain. "Ginusto ko ito," I kept on repeating to myself. I won't go into much detail, but as with any breakup, recovering from it wasn't easy. Looking back, however, I had always known that dating a bad boy was a risky choice. Still, there were perks. The thrill of belonging to guy like him and vice-versa was exciting. Bad boys are generally fun. He took me to places I never thought I'd ever set foot in. He was spontaneous—there was never a dull moment. The mystery and drama had me hooked. Plus, I felt special when he becomes as meek as a lamb when he's with me.
For a time, I thought I had his bad boy ways tamed, but as all women who have gone through the same experience learn eventually, you really can't change a person. What you can change, however, is the way you see yourself and engage with other people. Being with Bad Boy came at a cost, but I believe the benefits outweighed the drawbacks. I became much more adventurous and open to trying new things. I also learned to respect my own limits. There are some lines that I won't ever cross, and it's healthy to be conscious of that.
Don't get me wrong, though. I don't highly recommend that you date the next douchebag on your list. My point is you're not supposed to regret your mistake. Personally, the experience made me stronger. Bad Boy helped mold the current version of myself. Falling for him proved that it's okay to mistakes—it's part of growing up, and because of him, I've got a story to tell.
SCREENCAP: Gossip Girl/CW (2007); GIFS: Giphy
*As told to Female Network