Whenever I would ask friends who got cheated on by their partners how it felt like to find out about it, they would always talk about how waves of anger (sometimes fury), depression, hopelessness, and insecurity alternately make a play on them. I was secretly happy and confident that I would never go through the same thing they did. It would never happen to me, I told myself. I had the best guy in the world.
He was The One.
He would never cheat on me.
I was wrong.
The day I found out how my then fiancé cheated on me, my world crashed. I realized what it felt like when people say that their hearts crumble into a million tiny pieces. I always thought of it as an exaggeration on their end until I came across that unfortunate situation.
It was a big blow seeing him with another girl who was so proud of the fact that she was able to steal my guy. I felt a sudden wave of anger come over me. I didn’t deserve this after everything I had done for him. Then again, nobody ever deserves to be cheated on, really.
You start to question yourself; self-doubt is on pilot mode. It’s not a switch that you can turn off whenever you want to. What could be wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? What did I do wrong for him to cheat on me?
Never will it occur to you that the problem lies with him because it was he who chose to ruin the relationship by going for another girl. Insecurity becomes a constant companion until you decide to stop questioning and start believing in yourself again.
Sadness is normal when you catch your guy cheating. The feelings of despair and hopelessness of being left for someone else will eat you up inside, no matter how many times people tell you that things will be okay. And when people tell you that it’s a good thing you found out earlier before you got married, you start to wonder if they even understood that this was the guy you were supposed to marry, the guy you promised to cherish forever, love and take care of no matter what. The guy who made you happy. Yeah, the same guy who you found holding the hands of another girl. Finding out that your guy has been cheating on you is difficult to handle.
Catching your man in the act of cheating is heartbreaking. The pain is gut-wrenching that you can only wish it would go away as fast as it came.
You go through all these feelings until you make a firm decision to move and get on with life because you were made for someone who wouldn’t even dare think of hurting you the way you’re hurting now.