We were college blockmates since freshman year. Coincidently, we were both waiting for our families to fetch us from school when he noticed that I looked familiar. We belonged to the same block so he befriended me and asked for my number. Right then and there, I knew that I would develop strong feelings for him. Months after, he told me that he felt the same when we first met. So love at first sight may be true.
He confessed his feelings for me during the concert of our favorite band. It was heaven. He would always tell me how he thinks na magiging kami in the long run. In my mind, I thought that this was it. I’m The One. He told me so himself.
Miguel and I both loved the same things, the same music, basta everything. We were in the same barkada and everything was so ideal at the time. Parang rom-com na na-meet mo soul mate mo bigla. He was my first, I was his first.
Although he had already met my friends, my mom and titas, he was always hesitant to meet my dad–he actually bailed out a few times which really hurt my feelings. Even though I loved him with all my heart, he was always undecided and always backed out of planned trips–whether it was with me or with our friends.
Miguel was also a mama’s boy. While it’s okay to ask our moms for approval, isn’t it more attractive if a guy can lead, stand, and decide for himself? He was immature when it came to us. Parang he’s just there ‘pag masaya and fun ang samahan niyo pero when it comes to the hard part, he easily gives up. I already told him that these things bothered me–the bailing out, the failed second chances, and try-again moments. I was starting to think that maybe he wasn't really committed.
I believe that change doesn’t happen agad-agad. Pero old habits die hard nga diba, ganyan na siya eh. So baka ‘di talaga kami meant to be together.
Things started to become a bit off when he told me that I was a crazy b*tch who always stalked him online, when in fact, I knew that he was getting a little too friendly with this girl from school. When I talked to him about this, he was sketchy with the details but he was also obviously hiding something. I admit that I was jealous, but I’m only human. I have feelings, too.
After that, he got distant, and I figured that he was starting to get bored with me. Then, he told me that he was already getting annoyed with me. The lying started to come after that. That was the breaking point.
I decided that enough was enough when I realized that I didn’t deserve this kind of treatment anymore. I finally saw him for the person that he really was and not the he's-the-one-for-me illusion that I had been holding on to for months. I saw how immature he really was when it comes to facing problems. He didn’t talk to me for days. He didn’t face me. He didn’t even respond when I told him I wanted to break up–no calls, no text messages.
He leaves when the going gets tough. I wish I knew and learned my lesson the first time that this happened. Miguel was a very fun and quirky, jolly, caring partner but that's about it. He disappeared twice in my life already, and it’s about time that I stop fighting for us, and just let him go–for my own good.