Summer is a great time to meet new people. You’ll often get to travel to more places, attend more parties, make new friends, go on more dates—perhaps even indulge in a summer fling. Flings and casual dates serve as a source of excitement, companionship, intimacy, and even self-affirmation—and have the potential to become something more. While most summer romances don’t last beyond the season, there are a few exceptions to this rule—enough to make many people hope that a relationship that starts out as casual may lead to long-term commitment. So what happens when your summer romance starts blossoming into something more priceless?
It is possible to start a real relationship with a casual fling, but this takes plenty of work and emotional investment. Still, if you think he just might be Mr. Right, you should definitely take the chance to extend your summer romance into the next season and beyond.
Check out these tips to help you turn your summer fling into a real commitment that will last for all seasons:
BE THE HIGHLIGHT OF HIS SUMMER
When spending time with your man, be yourself, but also try to make a lasting impression that will set you apart from other women. Make your romance memorable by striking a balance between simply having fun together and gradually getting to know each other better on a deeper, more intimate level.
Great conversation, constant dating, and a good sense of humor go a long way in helping you establish a strong bond that can withstand the end of summer. For example, when going on dates this summer, trying new things or traveling to new places may help strengthen your relationship. And if you look great while experiencing all these adventures, all the more reason for him to want to keep you around!
DON’T BE CLINGY
For many men, there’s no bigger turnoff in the early stages of a relationship than a girl who is excessively needy. Clinginess creates problems for already committed couples and poses an even graver threat to casual romances and summer flings, which burn out quickly if too much pressure is applied too soon.
Although a casual romance or fling may one day become something more serious, it is still simply a preliminary stage to a genuine relationship, a period for both of you to “test the waters.” Think of it this way: the more you cling to the guy, the faster he’ll want to get away from you.
COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER
While summer flings may bring a hot and fast brand of physical intimacy, this usually isn’t enough to make the romance last. Instead, it’s emotional intimacy that will move your romance from casual to committed, so try to establish a genuine, well-grounded connection with your guy. The key to this is communication. Good conversation is always a potent tool for getting to know him better and making him crave your company all the more. Really listen to what he has to say, and share your own views and opinions earnestly.
When it comes to showing him you are sincere and that you care for him, let him know you want him for himself, not just the good times he can give you, pleasurable as those make-out sessions may be. That means you’ll have to show him as well as tell him. And make sure he knows it’s more than just being able to say “kami na”—you want to give yourselves the chance to get to know each other better.
SET DATES PAST THE SUMMER SEASON
Summer isn’t the only season for him to get to know you better. Establishing a sense of consistency in terms of dating will help dispel the presumption that your relationship will have to end when the summer does, by planning to get together even after the end of summer.
If you’re still uncertain as to how he’ll feel about extending your romance, ask him if he’d like to go to a concert or a play that’s scheduled about a month past summer’s end. These have set dates—a good excuse for planning a get-together several weeks in advance.
BE SPONTANEOUS
Love may be a battlefield, but that doesn’t mean you need a strategy for every step you take in your relationship. Many people these days tend to shy from commitment. Show him that changing your no-strings-attached status doesn’t mean shackling yourselves to each other or abandoning that feeling of newness and romance. You would still lead your own lives—just with some key intersections.
Don’t lose exhilaration of the fling when you decide to commit. Continually surprise each other and refresh your romance even before it has time to go stale. Be yourselves, go with the flow, and forget about labels like “commitment” and “flings.”
Will these tips land you the man of your dreams? Maybe not. Maybe at the end of summer, you’ll still part ways, no matter how much you try to stay together. But adopt a little que sera sera attitude, enjoy the moment, and do your best to show him how you feel. If it doesn’t work out, well, perhaps it’s not the right guy or the right time for it (think 500 Days of Summer). Either way as long as you did your best, you should have no regrets. Letting you go is his loss, plus you never know when someone even more attuned to you may come along.
(Photo from 500 Days of Summer courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures)
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