Friday night. Dinner. Movie. Post-movie coffee. A goodnight kiss past midnight.
Saturday. Malling with your guy.
Sunday. Lunch with your entire family and your guy. Lazy afternoon spent in front of the TV.
Sound familiar? If you feel that you and your guy are falling into that ho-hum, old-married-couple routine and seem to have lost that falling-in-love, honeymoon vibe, don’t fret just yet. All couples hit a relationship plateau after the initial kilig has worn off. Resolve to try out these suggestions for juicing up your romance again.
Go on a trip alone together. Forget partying in Bora with a dozen of your friends. Hie off to Tagaytay for a quiet weekend or to Bohol for some private beach partying (or canoodling). Use this time to reconnect and spend quality time with each other. You don’t need to be having long, meaningful conversations all the time—just the fact that you two are together is enough to make both of you rediscover the delight of each other’s company. “I felt the bliss of ‘playing house’ with my guy, like seeing our toiletries lined up next to each other in the bathroom,” says Leigh, 32, an accounting executive.
Review your romance. From your end, reminisce about why you fell for him and what attracted him to you in the first place. Sometimes, it’s all just a matter of shifting (or recycling) your perspective. If you keep a journal, re-read your entries when you were first falling for each other. This will remind you of how you first fell in love. Trust us, you’ll get kilig about him all over again.
Do something new together. This advice may be overused and cliché, but it really works. Most couples just need something new to jumpstart their relationship. It could be a couples retreat, a new sport, or letting your kid-hearted selves rediscover so-called kids’ play through painting, playing with toys, or going to Enchanted Kingdom (and feel like a kid all over again). The possibilities are endless! Just make sure that you and your guy are on the same wavelength; otherwise, you’ll just end up frustrated with each other.
Set aside for some precious quality time with your man… One of the biggest factors of relationship stalemates is lack of time. Since we’re all so busy and lead hectic lives, we’re too tired to think of doing anything—except maybe to sleep. Making a relationship work takes effort. If the thought of having to dress up for a weeknight out with your guy tires you out, you may want to arrange for a quiet get-together with him on a lazy weekend afternoon instead.
…and with yourself. If you’ve been feeling especially stressed out lately, forcing yourself to spend time with your guy might only backfire on you. When you’re too tired, you won’t be able to enjoy spending time together with your guy. Make sure you get enough rest and are recharged, so that your time together is really quality time.
Put a creative twist into your usual routine. Sometimes all it takes is just a seemingly small trick to breathe life into your relationship. Say your dates always consist of dinner, movie, and coffee or dessert. Put your imagination to good use and add a little spice to your ritual. It could be slipping love notes into his pocket or wallet, making him love coupons (e.g. “You get one full body massage from me”), or suggesting you go for Indian or Mediterranean cuisine for dinner instead of your usual Chinese or Filipino food fare. Simple moves will do the trick!
Surprise him. Guys send women flowers all the time; why shouldn’t you do the same? You don’t necessarily have to give him flowers; rather, focus on the gesture of giving. We suggest you surprise him with an order of pizza (he’ll surely love it) or something spontaneous that he’ll appreciate. Just keep in mind that your guy (as do most men) may balk at public displays of affection, so keep the mushiness level to a minimum.
It takes two to tango. Don’t dismiss your sense of a relationship slump as paranoia just yet; talk it out with him, so you can see if he feels the same way. You can bring up the subject casually rather than telling him seriously, “We need to talk.” Ask him if he feels the same way, if he’s starting to find your relationship boring and in need of rejuvenation. If he says no and thinks that your relationship is comfortable and settling into a good rhythm, great. If he agrees with you, then it would be wise for both of you to find a solution together. After all, there are two of you invested in this relationship.