There are a lot of challenges and obstacles you have to face once you get in a relationship. Whether you’re married, in a long-term relationship, or just starting out, conflicts may arise and may even lead to separation between couples.
But there is good news! If you aim to resolve certain issues that may cause you two to drift apart, there can still be a chance to save a rocky relationship. According to experts, these are the three things you need to watch out for:
Recent studies have shown that money is one of the top predictors of divorce. “It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It is money for both men and women,” says Sonya Britt an assistant professor of family studies and human services and program director of personal financial planning at Kansas State University.
She also explains that couples who fight over money at the beginning of their relationship may end up unhappy in their union. “It doesn't matter how long ago it was, but when they were first together and already arguing about money, there is a good chance they are going to have poor relationship satisfaction.”
Dealing with contempt
After reviewing several studies about couples, marriage researcher and author of the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, Ph.D. says that contempt is the top predictor of divorce.
There is no perfect relationship – and you and your partner may go through rough patches along the way, but you don’t have to let it eat you up. According to Gottman Institute expert Mike McNulty, PhD, LCSW, there’s a way to prevent contempt from building up. “All relationships involve ongoing, perpetual problems that will resurface. But it's how you handle them—either with kindness or contempt—that can make or break you as a couple.”
Being taken for granted
No one is perfect, but for a relationship to thrive, you should put enough effort for it to work. “These women feel they carry the weight of the relationship, do most of the emotional work and constantly have to find new and novel things to do to keep the relationship alive,” says Kristin Davin, a psychologist and meditator in New York City.
She also adds that not being appreciated can lead to other things. “It gets frustrating when they don’t receive equal (or close to equal) care in return. After a while, they say, ‘why bother’?” So make sure you show them how much you appreciate them for being in your life – it’ll boost your confidence in each other and make your bond a lot stronger.