When you said you wanted us to try it again, I’ll tell you honestly, I had doubts. It’s already been a year and several months after you took me for granted, used me, and made me believe in all your lies. Who would ever go back to you? I did. I chose to forgive you. First was because I had to unload the burden. Second, we’ve been friends for almost eight years already before our romantic relationship began. And third, I did want us to give it an nth chance.
You said we should build our relationship slowly and not to rush things. I told you, I was willing to give us another try only if no one else would get involved, like a third party or your friends. And you agreed.
You couldn't imagine the smile on my face that night.Everything was smooth-sailing. We talked about everything. I was there giving advice as your friend and as your wannabe girlfriend. I was there even when you had no one. But you were afraid. You had lots of excuses but the truth is, you were afraid of being hurt in the end. Why is that so difficult to admit? If you love a person deeply, you know everything about him. So, I know. I know you were having doubts about me, our relationship, about yourself.
Ang gulo gulo mo! I'm back to denying that I am strong. I'm back to trying to convince myself every day that I can survive this. I'm back to crying all night. I'm back to thinking about what I did wrong. You even made me think that it was our fault our relationship didn’t work, but I gave it my all. You shouldn’t have entered into the dating game again if you weren’t sure in the first place. I felt it. You weren’t ready. But I put my faith in you and thought that you would at least give it a try and I know you did.
All I’m saying is, if you have a problem about yourself, fix it first before you ruin somebody else’s life, especially those who love you. The very least that you can do to someone who loves you dearly is to respect him/her. Don’t take out all your frustrations and anger in life on her. Don’t make her suffer.
But, then again, I forgive you. I understand you’ve been through hell before you met me and that’s what made you you. I miss the guy who was so sweet, loving and caring. I love that guy soooo much, but I will still love the guy that you are now. If you come back and tell me you want to try it again for real this time, I would definitely love to. But, if you will just use me again, it’s better to lose my friend forever than to lose myself again.
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*Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors.