It doesn’t come as a shock anymore when you say you are in a relationship with no labels. These days, casual hook ups and relationships are becoming a trend–but then, have you ever asked yourself, "Why do we settle for something so uncertain?"
I was once in a no-label relationship and I have to admit it was one of the most exciting parts of my life. The adrenaline rush is so much different than what you feel when you are in a regular relationship.
I met this guy after my 18th birthday and honestly, I was already eyeing him. He was a basketball player in a major collegiate league in the country and I was a big fan. My former roommate was a friend of his and that’s how it all started. We started hanging out almost every day, and after a few weeks he got my number from my friend. I already knew from the start that this would just be a fling, but because I was so into him, I dived in. He was the first person I greeted in the morning and the last one I wished good night. There were even times when we'd talk for hours on the phone.
I enjoyed the kilig moments so much that I couldn’t bear to see it end and so we went on. I introduced him to my friends and they all warned me of what was bound to happen if I continued being with him. I started asking myself, "Is it still worth it?" and my answer was always yes, because I thought he felt the same–that actions spoke louder than words and that I knew he would fight for us no matter what. There was no need for me to hear him say those three words, that eight-letter phrase, because all the things I wanted to see and feel were all in front of me.
But my hopes were crushed when he introduced me to his girlfriend. I didn’t know exactly what to feel that time. All I remember was that I felt numb all over. From the start, I had always known we would never reach serious-relationship levels, but I never imagined seeing this fairy tale of mine come to an end. I had so many questions but I kept them to myself–my pride kept me from asking. I even had a "mag-be-break din sila" mantra inside my head for a couple of weeks because I still held on to the promises he made me, that we would settle down after graduation and that we would travel the world together.
The truth is, they never did break up. Not even once. And that until now, I am still haunted by the magical words: What if. I still ask myself sometimes, "Was it wrong that I fell for a guy who didn't want to commit to me?" But even after all the regrets and unanswered questions, I am still glad it happened, because if it didn't I would have continued to settle for less. It was then that I realized that I deserve more than what he can offer.
SCREENCAP: He's Just Not That Into You/New Line Cinema (2009)