Last May 24 2015, at exactly 10:49 a.m., I ended our relationship which lasted almost two years. I’m not sure if I made the right decision, but right now, I think this is the best thing to do.

I love him–I still do. In fact, my feelings have never changed.

It feels just like yesterday when I said "Yes." I am so in love with him and everybody knows that. I have loved him with all my heart and I tried my best to be a good partner. I changed, I tried to be better and I gave my all.

But like they say, some good things really come to an end.

Though I’m hurting so much right now, I have no regrets. For two years, he made me feel loved. He made me happy. I am a monster when I get mad but he made me become a better person. I have learned a lot from him. I feel lucky that I got to experience things that I’ve never done before. There are so many good memories to remember.

He taught me how to be patient, how to become more understanding, and how to handle things lightly. Our relationship wasn’t that perfect–and there were times that we have different point of views and it’s hard for us to meet halfway. It’s been a roller-coaster ride, I should say.

I broke up with him and it was the hardest decision I’ve made. The past couple of weeks were very challenging for us. There are times when I couldn’t understand him anymore.

There were so many issues, to name a few: I haven’t met his parents yet; he has so many plans and I’m not even part of it; he will work abroad but he never gave me an assurance that it would be us until the end; his friends don’t like me and I felt like he doesn’t care.

Well I guess he has his own reasons. But whatever his reasons are, I would find them hard to understand. I only want simple things in life; I only want him to stand up for me especially that he’s leaving the country soon. But I think he doesn’t know the word EFFORT.

He was so busy thinking about his future that he forgot to include me in his plans. But who am I to complain? He had everything planned before he met me and unluckily for me, he is so focused and no one can ever come between him and his goals in life, not even me.

When I texted him that I’m setting him free, guess what? Without any objections or hesitations, he said okay.

So I guess I was right. He loved m,e but not the same way that I do. It’s like he’s stabbing me with a knife straight to my heart and killing me slowly. The pain is just so hard to bear. I've been crying for hours now and I don’t know how long I’ll be like this.

I wish there was a pain killer that would help me ease the pain. All the happiness was replaced by so much pain and sadness. I don’t know how to tell my family and friends about our breakup because they thought that our love was strong and that we were a perfect couple.

It hurts so much and I feel like there’s nothing left for me to cry. I feel so broken, my heart is being squeezed and I can't breathe. How I wish there’s a time machine. I want to fast-forward the time because I know only time can heal the pain.

Maybe God wanted me to feel this pain. At the end of the day, there’s always a lesson learned. I am so weak and vulnerable right now, but I know someday this experience will make me strong. So for now, I will focus on myself and my dreams because I kind of lost my focus during the two years of us being together.

My whole world revolved around him that I forgot I should love myself too. I will keep myself busy doing things that I’d love to do and enjoy life to the fullest.

A year from now, I want to see myself fully recovered from heartaches and when I read this note, I’ll simply laugh about it and tell myself "You are a better person now–no more heartaches and always be happy."

*Minor edits have been made by the editors

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PHOTO: Pixabay; GIFs: Giphy

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