1. Admit you have commitment issues.
As with any other issue, the way to resolve it is to first admit it's an issue to you. Denying and lying to yourself that it doesn't exist may make you feel okay now, but what about tomorrow when he finally tells you he wants to be serious with you? Or when you realize you love him but you're just so afraid to express it? Knowing you have commitment issues can help you respond. Hopefully without leaving anyone hanging. 

2. Ask yourself where it's coming from.
People have commitment issues for a bunch of reasons. It could be from a fear of being dumped and getting your heart broken again. It could be a fear of being taken for granted or cheated on when you get into a serious relationship. Or a fear of losing your "independence" and having to change your lifestyle for someone else. Or you're just not over an ex.

When you've figured out where your commitment issue is rooted in, reason out with yourself. Not every kind of love ends, and you don't lose your identity when you're in a relationship if you're truly independent in the first place. 

3. Don't lose control over your life while you're dating someone.
It's all about time management. If you have big dreams, keep pursing them. Just 'cos you're dating doesn't mean you're giving them up. (Unless your dream includes becoming a nun, then you'd have a problem.)

4. Seek advice from someone you trust.
It helps a lot to talk to someone about your worries and to ask for some advice. For all you know you might just be empowered to make the leap. 

5. You can talk it out with him, too.
This can cause more drama between you two, so if you're not up for it, you don't have to do this. The plus side is you'll know if he's wise, comforting, and sincere. 

6. Believe things will not go downhill from when you commit.
It's happened that when you tell someone you love him, he'll suddenly disappear in your life (plot twist: he's the one with graver commitment issues). Or he'll suddenly treat you like crap because he got you to love him already. I guess that's why people take time when they're dating; they just want to make sure that things will be okay when they become serious. And that's not a bad thing.

But always, love is a gamble. Neither of you will know 100 percent that getting serious with each other will do you well. And there's always that risk he'll break your heart or you'll break his. 

5. Know that you have a lot to gain too.
But there's also the chance that you guys will be happy together. Think of all the dates you can have, the unconditional support he can give. And you can discover that he's the one, the guy who's perfect for you. You might be the type to think that you won't get into a relationship until you know for sure you'll marry the guy, but one could argue that relationships are there for you to know if the guy is marriage material. A lot can happen in a serious relationship that can prepare you guys for the long haul.

6. Ask yourself if this is the guy you never ever want to lose.
Okay, you can say that if he's the one, he'll wait for you no matter how long it takes. But on his side, he can say that if you're the one, you'll take a leap of faith in him. See how no one wins there? Instead of focusing on challenging or testing the guy (and where's the love there?!), ask yourself how you feel about him. Is he the guy you don't ever want to lose because your world just seems so much brighter with him in it? If he is, then he's worth loving with all you've got.

You might not be ready, but there are instances that make you feel that you are. And sometimes, like in this case, that's all you need.

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This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph.


* Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors.

 

PHOTO: Flickr Creative Commons/Areta Ekarafi

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