Are you the type of girl who never feels complete or accomplished unless she’s in a relationship? Does the need to be romantically attached to someone matter so much thatSo much so that the question of “WHO” who to be in a relationship with doesn’t matter so muchisn’t quite as important? Does the thought of being alone and “single” cause you to palpitate? You just might be addicted to the love bug. Take this test and find out if what you feel is true love of if you’re in love with love.
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Fulfilling relationships are hard to come by, and you may be doing yourself a disservice by going from one relationship to the next, hoping it will bring you closer to Mr. Right. Read on to find out ways on how you can know whether what you feel is true love, or if it’s just something to pass the time.
1. YOU FEEL INCOMPLETE, RESTLESS, OR ANXIOUS WHEN YOU’RE SINGLE.
According to Psychology Today, being addicted to the feeling of being in love is “a little harder to define simply because by nature we are all addicted to love—meaning we want it, seek it, and have a hard time not thinking about it. We need attachment to survive, and we instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love.”
However, you should draw the line at “love addiction being a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get our sense of security and worth from another person. During infatuation, we believe we have that security only to be disappointed and empty again once the intensity fades.”
2. YOU JUMP FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER.
In her article on BrainBlogger.com, Jennifer Gibson compares the idea of being in love with love to “Addicted to Love,” the song made famous by Robert Palmer.
She says, “Love addiction renders euphoria in the presence of the object of affection, just as drug intoxication elicits euphoria. Negative mood and affect, lack of interest in once pleasurable activities, and sleep disturbances accompany separation from the loved one, just as they accompany withdrawal from drugs of abuse.”
When you call infatuation love, the initial euphoria—which is primarily built on physical attraction—wears off easily, and you go off looking for another thrill, another relationship to give you that heady feel of excitement all over again.
3. YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT BAD BEHAVIOR TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOING.
Oprah probably said it best when she said that “love doesn’t have to hurt.” We have this whole notion that love means “surrender,” and that means giving in all time. You may be able to hold on to the relationship, but you may not exactly like what you’ve become because of it.
Love also requires mutual respect and equal give and take.
4. YOU MISTAKE DRAMA FOR INTIMACY.
There is no couple in the world who does not fight, have an occasional spat or lovers’ quarrel. But you should be able to differentiate between fights that tear down your relationship and those fights that you work out by talking issues out in a sane and mature manner. The latter are the fights that you come out of with a better understanding of each other’s boundaries and non-negotiables.
Yeah, yeah, who doesn’t like make-up sex? Sure, but if you need to fight just to feel that kind of connection to your partner, then you need to now that drama is not and will never be a substitute for intimacy.
5. YOU SAY YOU’RE IN LOVE TOO SOON.
No doubt about it—infatuation and physical attraction are heady and intoxicating. But there’s also a lot of timid testing of the waters through flirtation and banter with a lot of hidden and subliminal meanings. It may be the start of getting to know one another and the beginning of a possible relationship, but it’s certainly not a stage where you wear your feelings on your sleeve and publicly declare that you’re romantically attached.
Ask yourself how well your partner knows you—and how well you know him. Would you still call this love if you knew more about each other?
6. YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT THE STATUS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
A relationship shouldn’t be like a bubble: sometimes you see it, sometimes you don’t. And it should never isolate you from other people.
A good, healthy relationship is a mix of stability—you both know you’re in it for the long haul—and caring. You can’t just do whatever you want because you know that your partner will forgive you. It means being respectful of each other and being willing to talk about whatever problems come your way.
7. ARE YOU JUST SETTLING?
There’s this old story about a young girl who asked her grandmother how she managed to stay married and in love with her grandfather for more than 50 years, and she was surprised by her grandmother’s simple answer: Never settle.
Don’t think a man is “the One” just because he’s “the only one so far” or because you don’t want to get hurt anymore or go through the hassle of dating again. Never settle—when it comes to love, there should be no such thing as “good enough.”
For modern women, refusing to settle means never taking a job that’s not right for you just so you can bring home the bacon or resigning yourself to choosing between career and family when you know you can have both. We don’t want to settle for anything less than what we deserve in many things, and the same kind of conviction should be extended to our relationships.
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