Having seen a lot of soap operas and movies about cheating, it's easy to feel like you've got it all figured out. A guy who is unhappy in his relationship is bound to stray. He’ll go to a bar and hit on the first girl who catches his eye. He’ll get drunk and then sleep with her, not knowing how much he’ll hurt his girlfriend or wife in the process. All these points seem logical, and yet according to experts, they’re not really the standard for cheating men—at least, not for those whose first names aren’t Sergio, Claudio, or Fernando. Curious to know what real-life men think about when they do cheat? Read on!

They’re usually happy in their marriages.
That’s right, ladies. Men who cheat are not exactly dissatisfied with their relationships. In fact, according to a Rutgers University study, 56 percent of guys who claim they cheated are actually pretty content. So why do they even cheat in the first place? Our GIRLTalkers draw their personal conclusions here.

They have a higher sex drive after the affair.
After their first foray into the seedy world of extra-marital affairs, men become friskier in bed, so if your partner suddenly starts initiating sex more than usual for no apparent reason, be on the lookout. According to Redbook, this is a red flag. His libido is on a high, but since you’re still the one he feels most at comfortable with bedroom-wise, he'll want to have more sex with you. Until, of course, the affair becomes more solid, after which, he'll be more withdrawn.

Women cheat, too.
Men are usually portrayed as lying, cheating scoundrels, but women are just as capable of being unfaithful, too. However, while men are more inclined to seek sex, women are more likely to cheat and develop feelings for the third party. This is probably even more harmful to the relationship because women who fall in love may end up choosing to leave their partners for good.

Unfaithful men are not always looking for an out.
In his book The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating, American sociologist Eric Anderson reveals that 78 percent of the committed men in his study cheated, "even though they said that they loved and intended to stay with their partner."

They do it knowing full well the implications.
Guys may regret cheating on their partners afterward, but don't believe for a second that they don't know what they're doing. Men who two-time are fully aware of their decisions. They just choose to be a-holes and do it anyway.

They usually cheat with someone they know.
The third party could be their secretary, their childhood friend, or even their next-door neighbor. Fact is, they’re not likely to do it with a stranger. If you think your man might be tempted into having an affair, try to nip it in the bud by spending more time together or being more like the girl he first fell in love with, say experts.

The women usually know.
When men cheat, their girlfriends or wives somehow seem to know that something’s up. In fact, Psychology Today writer Robert Weiss says that there’s really no such thing as a clean getaway and describes a woman’s intuition as a "radar" that may have, through evolution, "developed to protect the family from dissolution." If you've ever been cheated on, you had to know, on some level, that he was being unfaithful. You might have tried to convince yourself otherwise, but run those odd text messages and those forgotten meet-ups by your BFFs, however, and they'll be the first to tell that something isn't right.

Men usually cheat to save their marriages.
Guys aren’t very good at expressing themselves. When they feel a void in their relationships, they end up looking outward to fill what’s missing instead of talking to their partners about it. It’s a very convoluted way of solving a problem, but that’s why it’s also important for you to pay attention to your relationship. If you think something’s bothering your man, bring it up during a conversation.

Girl, it’s never your fault.
No matter how much you’ve been arguing lately, know that when your guy decides to cheat, that’s all him. He could have always ended the relationship first before pursuing another woman, but he chose to do it while he’s still with you. What he did, he did of his own f*cking volition.

SCREENCAP: A Secret Affair/Viva Films; GIFS: Giphy

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