Jealousy in a relationship is normal, but when it starts to get out of hand and you're beginning to feel suffocated, it might be time to do something about it. Here are the signs your partner is going overboard and how you can properly handle it:
1. He subtly looks at your phone every time you text.
Is he always peeking over your shoulder whenever you’re on your phone? Or worse, have you ever caught him snooping? Everyone deserves some privacy–even from someone you're in a relationship with.
When you spy on your partner it only means you don’t trust them enough. How do deal with this? Julie Holland, a New York psychiatrist says communication is key. “My advice (to patients) is always that you need to talk more with your partner and not less.”
2. He doesn’t feel comfortable with your guy friends around you.
…and if worse comes to worst, he’ll even ask you to cut any kind of communication with them. He feels threatened by them so he won't even make an effort to be friendly. If he warns you not to trust guys a little too frequently (read: unnecessarily) then he might be more possessive than he should be. Exphasize that it's important for him to get to know your good friends, even if they're guys.
3. He tags along with you everywhere you go.
And we mean everywhere. Although this sounds sweet at first, this will be a problem when he starts to get in the way of your healthy social life. You shouldn't rely solely on each other all the time, you need to maintain good relationships with other people, too. More importantly, singles and couples alike always need some time alone.
Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, professor, and author says being together all the time can sap away your strength. “It is natural that two partners may not automatically have the exact same needs in terms of alone time, even if they are both extroverts (and introverts).” She also adds that when it comes to healthy relationships, “communication about those needs leads to a workable compromise.”
4. He’s always paranoid.
Sometimes, a man’s jealousy can be flattering, but it can also be scary when the line is crossed. “A partner who views every interaction you have as being flirtatious, is suspicious or threatened by multiple people you come in contact with, or faults you for innocent interactions because they may be ‘leading someone on’ may be insecure, anxious, competitive or even paranoid,” says Bonior.
5. He thinks he can dictate what you wear.
Just because you two are a couple doesn't mean he can tell you what you can and can’t wear. If he doesn’t like the clothes you’re wearing, that’s his problem and definitely not yours. No guy should control how you want to present yourself in public. And if he says that it's because he doesn't want anything to happen to you, explain that your outfit should not be the problem.
6. He constantly shows up at your place unannounced.
Girl, when is he gonna get that you need your space? It's starting to get annoying and embarrassing. If he really wants to visit you (because he wants to and not because he wants to be all up in your face again), ask him to give you a heads up or maybe, you two could work out a schedule–like lunch dates every other day.
7. He knows every person you interact with on social media.
…sometimes, a little too well. He knows their names, what status they’ve commented on, or whether you’ve gotten a heart or a like. When a cute guy notices your status updates, he brings it up during your conversations and makes a big deal out of it. Ugh, he needs to grow up.
8. He asks for proof.
Like when you tell him where you are but you can feel the doubt and suspicion when he suddenly asks for “proof”–no matter what the situation is, this is completely uncalled for and is a sign that he doesn’t trust you.
9. He’ll constantly text you when you’re out.
You’re out with your friends for some much needed R & R and your phone is blowing up with calls and texts from him. When you don’t respond, he gets mad. Really? Not only is he being too clingy, he’s also being irrational. Be with someone who trusts you, you don't need the stress!