There are men who are quick to step up and form lasting relationships, and there are those who are a bit wary of even testing the waters. Fear of commitment isn’t a sin. After all, everybody gets his or her share of cold feet when it comes to investing emotions. What’s wrong is when expectations don’t get managed, and the other half is left dazed and confused about everything.


If you’re one of those women who can’t seem to say for certain if they’re in a real relationship or not, then your man may not yet be ready for one. Here are a few signs to look out for.

1. He sweeps you off your feet, then pulls the rug beneath you after setting you down.
A man who’s not ready to commit is not automatically aloof. Oftentimes, he would be one of the sweetest, most romantic guys you’ve ever met. He’d take you to candlelit dinners and surprise you with presents–everything that you both fantasize about. However, once reality sets in and he realizes relationships require a deeper personal investment than what he’s ready to give, then there’s a huge possibility that you’ll be left hanging.

2. He seems uncomfortable and unsure when you ask him to spend time with your friends.
Chilling with you is okay, but once you add other people in your life into the equation, he suddenly feels allergic to the idea. A man who’s not ready to commit isn’t ready to know more about you other than what he sees at face value.

3. He doesn’t want you in certain parts of his life.
Similar to how he doesn’t want to look too deep into who you are, he would rather compartmentalize your relationship and not reveal important aspects of his life to you. That means you’ll probably end up not knowing his family and friends, or even what he likes doing on weekends. If he can’t even introduce you to his best bud, then he may not be interested in pushing your relationship to the next level at the moment.

4. He always seems to forget about including you in his plans.
Just when you’ve been wondering why he has been quiet for the past week, you see him tagged in his kabarkada’s Facebook album having a blast at some beachside bar. When you finally reach him to ask why he hasn’t even bothered telling you that he’ll be on a vacation, he apologizes profusely, saying that it probably just slipped his mind. A man who doesn’t seem to value your peace of mind, whether consciously or unconsciously, is definitely not ready to commit.

5. He quickly forgets about you at social functions.
You arrive together at a party, and upon seeing a friend, he seems to have forgotten that he came with you. If you start feeling uncomfortable in a sea of people you don’t know and he doesn’t seem to be the least bothered about it, then you probably aren’t on the same page with regard to your couple status.

6. He doesn’t like PDA.
This isn’t even icky, about all-out lip action: We’re talking about things like holding hands or quick shoulder rubs, or anything that regular couples do to randomly affirm their relationship in public. If your man feels uncomfortable every time you kiss his cheek or rest your head on his shoulder, then maybe he isn’t ready for the big leap just yet.

7. He physically distances himself from you even when you’re together.
Body language reveals a lot of things, and when he chooses to walk before you all the time and you feel as if you’re always tailing him, then there may be problems. A man who is ready to commit makes you feel that you are part of his personal space, while a man who is not seems to appreciate having you at a distance–literally and figuratively.

8. He tells you outright that he’s not ready for a commitment.
Some men, thankfully, put boundaries early on and say that they’re not ready for anything more than casual flirting. If your partner tells you this, then at least you know where you stand and what to expect. Who knows? Maybe in time, what’s between you two will develop into a real honest-to-goodness relationship.

PHOTO: Pixabay; GIFs: Giphy

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