It’s not easy to figure out what’s going on in a man’s head. It's not automatic that an invitation for lunch or coffee means that he's interested in you. What's even worse is that it could be a networking orientation masked as a date! Men's actions can be very confusing since you don’t want to assume. You’re probably figuring out if he’s asking you out on a date, or just inviting you to hang out as friends. Dealing with this dilemma can also be a huge hassle since you’re not exactly sure how to act or even what to wear for the occasion. If you think your guy is sending you mixed signals, here are ways to decipher them.
1. Ask yourself how out of the ordinary his actions are.
It doesn’t matter whether or not he usually asks you to do something with him or if it’s a rare fluke. What matters is how he approaches you with the question. Look at how he acts – is he fidgety? Does he stumble over his words? Or is he behaving like it’s no big deal? Cross-check his actions with his personality and you’ll more or less gauge if he’s asking for something more than just a quick merienda.
2. Find out what exactly he’s planning.
If you’re both geeking out over Funko Pops and he asks you to help him pick up his weekend haul, then it may not be exactly a date. But if it’s an invitation to dinner and drinks, or if he answers you with the vague and kilig-provoking “basta”, then it may be something more. Also, if he regularly asks you to be his coffee companion or if he invites you to his personal activities that he normally doesn’t include other people in, then he may be finding excuses to spend time with you—even if these occasions are technically non-dates.
3. Check out where you’re headed.
A fancy restaurant, a movie, or even an indie music fest are more often than not considered as date venues. However, he can also take you to simpler, low-key places that may have sentimental value to him, and if he shows conscious effort to make things more special and comfortable for you, then chances are that you’re on a date.
4. Observe your conversation topics.
Conversations during a legit date usually have a more “I want to get to know you better” vibe. Questions that revolve around what you want and what you find interesting are signals that he’s taking in information that he can later on use to woo you. On the other hand, if you’re just talking about how ratty his officemates are while he orders his second nacho platter, then you’re probably just hanging out.
5. If all else fails, ask him.
If you’ve been going out for a while and you’re still in the dark about what exactly he’s doing, try asking him directly about it. It may seem forward, but if you use the right words and tone, you may find out what you need to know. The outcome may be awkward if he tells you that he was just being nice, but at least it saved you from the mental anguish of trying to guess his intentions.