So you've met a great new guy. And in the short span of time that you’ve known each other, you’ve talked about him endlessly with your girl friends, dreaming about what the perfect date with him would be like. But now that he's actually asked you out, you're feeling kind of anxious and just a little bit tense. Guys may claim that they have the monopoly on being on edge during a first date, but the truth of it is that we're just as nervous as they are!Nervousness can be caused by a lot of things, but one of the most common fears is of running out of things to say because you two don’t know each other very well yet. The movies make it look so easy—all you need is a witty comeback, and you’re pretty much set for the evening. But that sort of thing doesn’t always get to happen in real life. Read our tips on feeling more at ease during that nerve-wracking first date Who knows? That first date may just be the start of something beautiful.
1. BE OBSERVANT.
What kinds of things does he like talking about? What kind of phone does he use? What music was playing in the car when he picked you up? Paying attention to details gives you a glimpse into what topics tickle his fancy. This might require a little sleuthing on your part, but asking mutual friends about his interests will work in your favor. Just as girls enjoy it when guys remember the kinds of flowers they like or who their favorite musicians are, your new guy will be just as impressed when he notices that you made the effort to find out what things he finds cool. Plus, if he hasn’t done so himself, he’ll be more motivated to reciprocate and talk about the things that interest you.
2. MAKE EYE CONTACT.
Don’t be afraid to smile at him or to look at him while he’s talking. You might be too nervous or shy to look at him, especially when you talk, but there's no harm in trying to give him a meaningful look once in a while. Doing this will let him know that you’re interested in what he has to say as opposed to just sitting there and smiling blankly throughout the date.
3. BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT.
You didn’t agree to go on the date just to get a free meal, so don't be afraid to talk. If he offers his opinion about something, listen, but don't forget to offer yours as well. While it’s true that no one likes a blabbermouth, take the time to explain your reasoning—why you agree or disagree with him. This will surely make him more curious about you and let them know there's definitely a brain behind that pretty face.
4. DON’T DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING.
This goes beyond getting one more drink or watching that lame sequel that you know will be just awful. Why waste time being someone you're not when you can have a fun night out? If he asks you what you want to do, let him know—or at least tell him what you definitely don’t want to do. And throwing the question back at him doesn’t always stroke his ego. Besides, you know how to have fun, so share that with him!
5. DON’T GET TOO ROMANTIC JUST YET.
Think of a first date as an opportunity to turn an acquaintance into a friend. Guys already have their hands full trying to make the date be as flawless as possible, so make it clear that you're not expecting the night to turn into a montage from a movie. This is your night, so enjoy it! You might learn a thing or two about yourself or discover something you might want to do or know more about—all thanks to your date!
Be open to things he might suggest or might want you to try and don't worry too much about what the people around you might think. If things don't work out, then at least you got to find out for yourself instead of wondering what might have been. The important thing to remember is to manage your expectations even before going on the date; the goal is to get to know a guy without friends hanging around and, more importantly, to have fun! Being yourself is never a bad thing, so sit back, have fun, and enjoy the date!
(Photo from 50 First Dates courtesy of Columbia Pictures)
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