assumptions_about_sex_part1.jpgThanks to the way much of society frowns on talking frankly about sex and the gender stereotypes associated with it, quite a lot of the information about sex a woman can get from friends, family, and personal observation is either conditional or untrue.

Here are five half-truths and full-out lies about sex that women should never get trapped into believing:


Assumption: Guys are always game.

Is it true? Absolutely not.

While some people are more highly sexed than others, this is not a gender-specific condition. In fact, this may be more an issue of lifestyle than anatomy. This slide show from WebMD lists several factors that can decrease sex drive, including stress, medication, relationship problems, alcohol, lack of sleep, obesity, and more. So if you’re in the mood for a little nookie, don’t immediately assume that you can just say “let’s do it” and have your guy up (no pun intended) and running. You may just have to work at it to make sure he’s as keen as you are.


Assumption: Men are just looking for casual sex from you.

Is it true? Not necessarily.

Don’t assume your guy doesn’t want something more. This article on The Independent does say it’s a scientific fact that more men feel positively toward the issue of casual sex than women. “Men are biologically capable of reproduction with many women, which may explain their apparent happiness with casual relationships. But for women it is quality, not quantity that is important,” reads the article, which cites Prof. Anne Campbell of Durham University as its resource person.

Evolutionary design or not, though, people are more than just a concatenation of DNA strands—and there’s more to life and love than biology. In fact, according to WebMD, a study showed that just about an equal percentage of men and women who enter into one-night stands do so in the hope of finding someone with whom they can have a longer (and likely more meaningful) relationship.

So even though a man may be more inclined to consider having casual sex generally speaking, don’t make the mistake of thinking that all he wants from you in particular is a casual roll in the hay. Don’t dismiss his feelings out of hand by assuming he has none. The opposite might be true, so allow yourself to explore that side of your relationship and to build on it. You never know, after all—the man you labeled your sex buddy may really be your perfect match.


Assumption: It’s always better if the guy initiates sex.

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Is it true? Absolutely not.

It’s this sort of timidity that promotes assumptions like the ones in this articles in the first place. Women should feel free to explore their sexuality. This way, they’ll be comfortable enough with their urges to hold the sexual reins in the relationship with confidence. This doesn’t mean that you should always be the one to make the first move, though. It just means that you should try to go for a give-and-take sexual relationship.

Equality in the bedroom may mean more equality in your relationship; initiating sex tells your partner that you desire him and that you are a full partner when it comes to seeing where your relationship leads you. That line about sex being a way to show your love does have some weight to it, especially because a lot of people honestly believe it; after all, if you continually wait for your guy to make his move, ala Maria Clara, he may just convince himself that you’re indifferent—or worse, resistant—to his way of expressing his love for you.


Assumption: Guys know how to pleasure women more than women do.

Is it true? Not necessarily.

This is a conditional assumption. There is no magical formula for a woman’s sexual enjoyment, so while your guy may know what generally works for women, if you’ve never done it before, he won’t know what works for you until you let him know. The truth is that you should be the authority on what makes you feel good, which is why women should be encouraged rather than frowned upon when they make it a point to get to know themselves. And yes, this includes masturbation. After all, if you don’t know what you like, you shouldn’t expect him to either. Here’s a tip: find your clitoris and find your G-spot. You’d be amazed how many women think they’re somewhere other than where God placed them.

If you’re reluctant to take things into your own hands, literally and figuratively speaking, then resign yourself to some trial-and-error in the bedroom. Sometimes he’ll hit your O spot, and sometimes not. Be open to suggestions about some of your behind-closed-doors activities and be willing to experiment. You’ll not only learn more about him and yourself, but you’ll also have a stronger, more interesting sex life.


Assumption: Guys go once and then they’re done for the night.

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Is it true? Not necessarily.

Although it’s true that women can have multiple orgasms in one session while men can usually get just one, this doesn’t necessarily mean that once your guy brings it, you’ll have to resign yourself to cuddling and spooning for the rest of the night. According to this article on NHS.uk, after ejaculation, a man will be unable to orgasm for a time, but how long this takes varies from man to man. It’s sad to say that, yes, some may even find it will be a day (or days) before they can have another orgasm after ejaculation, but many only need to wait a few minutes or hours.



Want to know what else you may not know about sex and guys? Check out “5 Myths about Men and Sex That May Be Hurting Your Relationship.”



(Photo © iStockPhoto.com/Orange-Melody)

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