It’s been a couple of days/weeks/months since the breakup. For the most part, you’ve learned to live with the fact that your relationship just didn’t work out. You’ve slowly but surely tried to adapt to your new life as a single woman, and while you still feel a twinge of sadness whenever you see something that reminds you of your past relationship, you're getting over it. But just as you’re starting to get the hang of things again, fate blindsides you with a chance meeting with your ex. Can relate? Scroll down to see every thought you’ve ever had when you see "him" coming your way.
You panic and rush to hide awkwardly between two fern plants or two of your friends whom, let’s face it, are probably dead giveaways already anyway. "Sh*t! Is that him? I should hide! No—wait! Why should I be the one to cower? I should hide anyway."
You ask your friends if you look okay and try to catch a glimpse of yourself in the nearest reflective surface. "I just had salad. Is there something stuck between my teeth? Does my hair look pretty? Do I look pretty?! Retouch!"
You try to play it cool even though your unnatural body language screams awkward all over. "Okay, so he’s seen me. Cool. Act natural, act natural, act natural. Huwag pahalata."
You can’t help but assess his new look. "So he finally shaved off that beard he’s been unsuccessfully trying to grow for years. Not bad, mist—whoa! Not going there!"
You try to make small talk. "How's your family? Your mom? Your dad? You sister? Your brother? The dog?"
Memories! Memories! "Is that a take-out bag from _____? We used to eat there all the time."
Does he have a girlfriend already? "Whom did he replace me with? Reminder to stalk check his Facebook later."
This would be the perfect time for my incredibly hot rebound to make an entrance. "I wish!"
Wait—what did he just say? Ugh! Now I remember why we split up in the first place. "What a douchebag. I really am better off without him."
The more things change, the more they stay the same. "Maybe we're just two very different people with different priorities in life. After everything we've been through, I suppose it all boils down to the fact that our relationship was not meant to be."
Enough of the negativity. "I'm sincerely glad that he's doing okay. He's moving on. He has a new job. Got a new car. Finally replaced those ugly shoes. Worked on his issues. I guess that's my cue, too."
Okay. That was the longest 10 minutes of my life."Surreal. Very surreal. But strangely, I feel better. Awkward as that might have been, I guess that sort of closes that chapter of my life. Now, on to better things!"
PHOTO: Tom Ellefsen/Flickr Creative Commons; GIFS: Giphy