You’ve talked about marriage, discussed the possibility of kids, and perhaps even started a joint account. All your friends know that where one is, the other is never too far off. Heck, even your own families have taken to addressing you two as one unit. Then, you two break up. For the first time after a long, long while, you’re on your own. Sound familiar? Then we bet you’ll be able to relate to the situations listed below.

Your weekends are suddenly SO free.

Saturdays and Sundays used to be reserved for movie and dinner dates with your man. Now, your schedule is wide open, so you try to fill the void by going out as often as possible. Late-night dinners with your college barkada? You’re already on your way to Maginhawa. Out-of-town trip to Baguio? “Uy,guys, parang okay sa Baguio Burnham Suites!”  

As a result, your Facebook and IG feed are constantly updated.
Even if you’re feeling crummy on the inside, you still find yourself smiling for the photos. “You kind of want to put on a show,” says Hannah, 29, whose ex broke up with her after six years. “You want to show him that the end of the relationship was his loss, not yours.”
It's not just about getting back at him either. “You kind of realize that there’s life beyond the relationship,” says Miranda, 25. “You take the opportunity to rekindle friendships, especially with people whom you were really close to but nawala dahil masyado kang nag-focus sa relationship.”

HUGOT is your word of the year.
When you and your friends watched That Thing Called Tadhana or The Last Five Years, you couldn’t help but think #hugot, #daminghugot, and #hugotnanaman  the entire time. Even after leaving the theater, you can’t escape the buzzword because, dammit, everyone keeps using it.

You have a HUGOT playlist.

Admit it. You have Rihanna, Sam Smith, and Taylor Swift on repeat. You listen to this playlist on your way to work and again on your way home from work, wondering why things ended the way they did and whether there’s something wrong about you—there isn’t. And while it hurts to hear the last seven years of your life in a chart-topping single, you can’t help but listen to it anyway.  

The world is not big enough for the two of you.
Whatever the reason and whoever initiated the breakup, it’s normal not to want to accidentally bump into your ex. “I once saw someone who looked like my ex-boyfriend at a food bazaar and I swear my heart stopped,” says Sheryl, 32. “In the end, it turned out to be someone else, but I was literally hiding behind my friends’ backs the entire time.”


You can’t cut ties off so abruptly.
Even if your relationship with your ex has reached its limit, the same can’t be said for your relationship with his family. After all, you’re Facebook friends with his mom, dad, and his siblings. You want to wait until they unfriend you (but they probably won’t), so you’ll have to edit your posts to make sure you don’t accidentally publish something that could hurt their feelings.

You don’t know yourself anymore.

In the years that you were together, he had become as much a part of you as you are of him. Seeing as you watched the same movies, ate at the same restaurants, and hung out with the same people, it’s hardly surprising. “My ex loves his Marvel and DC comics so much that I sort of got into it, too,” says Val, 26. “Whether he intended it to or not, his hobbies shaped mine. Part of moving on for me is rediscovering myself all over again. Will I still like the same things I liked when we were together?”

Your future is suddenly uncertain.
You may not have had your entire life planned out prior to the breakup, but you did know that your ex was supposed to have been a huge part of it. Now that he’s out of the picture, you find that you don’t know what to do. Sure, the split has opened up a lot of new possibilities—further studies, employment abroad, a new business—but which one should you pursue first?  

You’re not quite ready to jump into another relationship.
Whether it was of your own volition or not, you’re free again. But while well-meaning titas are ready to set you up with nice boys, you’re a little hesitant to say yes. After all, you just spent the last five or so years dreaming of a future with your ex, they’ll forgive you for thinking six months is still a little too soon.

Dating confuses you.

When you do feel ready to step out into the light, however, you’re clueless as to how to go about it. You’ve been benched for so long that you have no idea what the rules are anymore. How do you say goodbye after he takes you home? Do you give him beso on the cheek, wave goodbye, or uh shake his hand? And for the record, how do you know whether your old high school friend is asking you to a legit date or just #HOHOL?

Still can't move on from your ex? Join the support group over at GIRLTalk.

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