What is it about turning 30? It seems to be some kind of magical decade where people think everything will fall into place. You’ll get the job, the dude, the kids, that nice little bungalow with an adequate yard. A car plan. A career. Famous sexologist, Alfred Kingsley, even proposed back in the 50s that women reach their sexual peak when they reach their early to mid-30s.

But how true is this, really? Will turning 30 finally bring in the ever-elusive extended orgasm? Will it be the best time of our sexual lives?

There is some biological truth to back this up. Hormone levels are at really high levels when women enter their 30s. This can make for crazy sensitivity and sensuality, perhaps more than ever. This also makes sense in an evolutionary point of view, as the body is at its best for childbearing. With menopause not too far away, hormones flood the system to encourage intercourse and procreation. This can contribute to a woman’s sexual attitude and openness at this time, and may make it feel like you’re going crazy with desire.

However, a study conducted by the University of Chicago posits that a woman’s sexual appetite and libido isn’t hinging on physiology alone. Her state of mind, financial security, emotional stability, and current situation will largely dictate just how high her libido can get. Typically, this decade is when you begin to figure your life out, and the path before you seems clearest. You are more comfortable in your skin, unapologetic for your desires, and more straightforward about them. And this is why sex in your 30s can be so mind-numbingly amazing, you can’t imagine it getting any better.

The environment you live in can also largely dictate your sexual state of mind. A strict upbringing that views sex as taboo can diminish sexual desire no matter the time of life you find yourself in. On the other hand, a woman with a healthy view on sex or someone in a loving, secure relationship can definitely reach orgasmic heights that seem almost too good to be true.

Here’s the mood killer, though: stress can ruin it all for you. Instead of making yummy sex hormones like testosterone, stress will instead trigger cortisol, which inhibits sexual drive. Called the stress-shift in hormone production, your body goes into survival mode when stressed. It shuts down sex hormones just to fight stress and keep you going, focusing on life preservation instead of procreation. So if you want to keep the fire alive in the bedroom, make sure to get regular R&R and treat yourself well.  

Sex in your 30s can be the best you’ve ever had (so far), and there is definitely a lot to look forward to. Find time to fulfill your goals without sacrificing time to love yourself, your man, and the life you’re in. Any decade you’re in can be amazing, as long as you let it.

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