Are you ready for Marriage?

[belle_v2g]

We've already made this decision 3 years ago.. and I'm very happy with it.. no regrets for the past 10 years we spent together.

[Girltalker2]

Gusto ko yung busyng busy tayu sa wedding preps tapos me biglang ganitong forum haha! Natamaan ako bigla hehe!

Sorry sis ha. Just making sure everyone is ready before going through all the preps. Admittedly the effort and gastos ay di biro. I just think na dapat napag isipan ito ng couple as a couple several times (di lang ng bride).

Sometimes kasi in the midst of all the preps, we forget about this element, our readiness and the true essence of marriage.

[Girltalker2]

Mga sisses Maukris, skela, 120515 - I like your answers Shows din na napag isipan nyo itong natahak nyo kahit papano. Wishing you all and the other sisses all the best and congrats narin in advance!!!

[yannuh]

Agree naman ako dyan sis Girltalker2 Actually tama nga na from time to time me assessment na ganito e, para hindi wedding preps lang ang iniintindi. Baka mamaya ready na pala sa wedding pero di pa talaga sa marriage. Kaya good job ka dyan sis:)

[Reynamargallo]

Im a 4th quarter 2015 bride. I've been reading this forum right after my partner proposed to me.  I must say na some brides are waaaay too much. bridezilla ang peg. i understand the pressure but hello, get over yourself 'no?  nasa point na "ang arte arte na."

Look what's life after the wedding.

[yannuh]

Ooops medyo guilty ako sa bridezilla peg sis Reynamargallo HAHA:p Sorry na :p

[reese17]

I don't think you can ever be 100% ready for marriage but I do agree that you can take steps as a couple to "equip" yourselves for what's about to come. My fiance and I took premarital counseling sessions at our church and it really helped, especially the topics on finance and communication issues.

What I've been learning recently is how to be a "blended" family now that my future in-laws and my immediate family have more opportunities for interaction.

[deathwatchspider]

Im a 4th quarter 2015 bride. I've been reading this forum right after my partner proposed to me.  I must say na some brides are waaaay too much. bridezilla ang peg. i understand the pressure but hello, get over yourself 'no?  nasa point na "ang arte arte na."

Look what's life after the wedding.

haha now that were done with the wedding and im on the other side, looking back sa preps, i guess it can make some brides go crazy talaga.  i jst dont get the sense of self-entitlement that b2bs get when they are in the planning phase. as if its all that matters. so yeah true. focus shouldnt be all about the wedding but the life after that.

[belle_v2g]

Im a 4th quarter 2015 bride. I've been reading this forum right after my partner proposed to me.  I must say na some brides are waaaay too much. bridezilla ang peg. i understand the pressure but hello, get over yourself 'no?  nasa point na "ang arte arte na."

Look what's life after the wedding.

Lol!!! I couldn't agree more dun sa "ang arte arte na" hahaha!
Ganun talaga siguro sis.. individual differences. There are people who can handle pressure better and calm lang all the time.. if only they know how tough it will all be when you're in the real game na.. baka maging wifezilla pa

[jentotmd]

^sobrang agree sa "ang arte arte na". i always say di lang ikaa ikakasal. yung h2b mo din so please. it's not all about you.
^sis belle natawa ako sa wifezilla!true na true!

[yellowcat]

Hi fellow ladies.

I don't exactly know what will be of this but I just want to share and be enlightened.

Here is the story in my experience regarding readiness for marriage:

My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years.
We both knew that a relationship's goal is marriage, even before we met.
He's in his early 30s and I'm in my late 20s.
He is based overseas.
He is an introvert and I'm the opposite.
He is very independent and keeps to himself but he loves & respects his family but doesn't share everything with them. I'm very open to my family.
He knows his faith. He studied it. Not academically, just out of curiosity. But he is not vocal. I'm the one that shares, initiates topics about it.
We have the same religion.

He knew he wanted to marry me the moment we became a couple.
I'm blessed with him.
Ako naman, NBSB. I always loved the idea of marriage and wished I would get married one day if it is God's will.
But before we met I didn't really pay serious attention to it because I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment and pain fearing that it might not be His will.
Then my partner came.
I'm so thankful to God for him and I continue to pray for us.
My partner expressed his intention to marry me as soon as possible, if it were up to him. He said this just months into our relationship.
He wanted to get married the coming year.
I was speechless, flattered, blessed and grateful.
I didn't know how to react.
I didn't expect he would mention it so soon.
I know it is what I want in our relationship but I didn't expect it that early.
He said he'd propose on his next return here.
At first I thought, I was just overwhelmed. But I was happy.
I loved it when we talked about marriage, kids and the wedding.
But as his return home was drawing near, kinabahan ako.
I started to feel really overwhelmed and anxious. Kinabahan ako with the thought of marriage.
Idk if the number of broken marriages among my relatives has an effect in me but that's how I felt. I really don't want us to have a broken marriage.
He felt sad when I told him how I felt. Na I can't marry him yet. Hence, di natuloy ang proposal.
I asked for a year.

Then last December, he said he will propose when he gets home this summer. He even asked if it'd be okay for him to choose my ring for me.
But come this January 2016, I still knew I wasn't ready.
I was still anxious and overwhelmed by the thought of it.
I told him and this time, it scarred him.
I really hurt him.

How I wish I am ready as he is.
But I'm not.
And we both know it's difficult for him to wait.
I don't want to let go.
Mahal ko siya.
I am continuously praying for God's leading.

[reese17]

Hey yellowcat, so sorry to hear about your situation. Are there any specific reasons why you feel you aren't ready for marriage? (Financial status, maturity, pending career plans, etc.)

[Missus O]

@yellowcat - if I may, what made you think na you are not ready for marriage? Is it just because you got scared because of the broken marriages in your family?  Maybe you were overthinking it to the point na you got scared of the future nagka cold feet ka. But then again, kung hindi nya pa kayang i-quell yung fear mo, maybe the two of you do need more time to grow and mature.

My hubby and I are both in our mid 30's now. We used to be in a long distance relationship and we started when we were  in our 30's. But even then, we didn't let age dictate our path into marriage. We took it one day at a time.  Both of us came from broken families. I guess, instead of deterring us from marriage, coming from a dysfuntional family (and learning from past relationships)  actually made us realize what I want in a man..what we want in a relationship... in a family, and it made us appreciate the type of relationship me and my then boyfriend had.  It gave us some insight that any relationship does not only function on love alone. It works on a two way street and it is with hard work.  A relationship will not prosper if only one is working.

Parang ganito yan, I guess in marriage it is not enough to say "I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him" and vice versa the guy says the same thing to the girl. Marriage is "We love each other. We are willing to sacrifice and do hard labor for the rest of our life" and does so and not just says so.

Communication is one of the keys in marriage. Your partner is hurt at the moment with what you've said.  Marriage is a commitment with somebody getting hurt lots of times. It's what you do to relieve that hurt and accept the consequences and forgiveness that matter. Kaya pag nag away, dapat eh mag bati. Yung kung paano eh yun yung hirap.

Ang kasal eh basically mag boyfriend pa din naman yan. Yun lang nga eh legal na kayong magkasama at sa isang bubong na kayong magkasama. Yung finances nyo eh molded into one na. Ang difference lang naman ng mga kasal sa magboyfriend eh pag nagbreak kayo magastos (annulment). 

I wish you the best of luck. Don't just pray sis and ask for strength and guidance, ask for wisdom as well. And better yet, reflect. Sometimes reflection is an answered prayer wherein God gives us revelations and insights. Good luck sis, God bless

[m_lim]

very nice topic.

reality check sa mga nagpplano magpakasal. may punto ang mga matatanda bakit nila sinasabi na:

ang pag aasawa ay hindi parang kanin na iluluwa mo pag napaso ka-- something like that.

sa tingin ko naman usually dalawa lang yan karaniwang nagiging cause ng problema:

walang bisyo, loyal, mabait pero walang pera OR provided lahat pero manloloko. minsan rin bading pala!

[roxy14]

oo alam ko ready na ko. alam ko sya rin naman. we're making plans na on our wedding next year kahit na medyo maaga aga pa. naalala ko nakasabay ko sa workmate nya sa derma. knkwento nya na tinatanong nya si BF if ako na ba daw talaga ang babaeng papakasalan nya, ang sagot ay laging oo. I know not only by words na maprove nya un sakin pero right now he's working abroad para makapagipon and hopefully in the next couple of months makasunod na ko. Medyo bata pa ko, turning 25 this year pero alam ko sya na talaga. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit ako naging luhaan sa mga past ko. kasi dadadating pala si BF para mahalin ako ng sobra

[miah]

hi sis,

good topic ito ah! been married for a month palang turning 2 months this feb 5.... bf/gf for 10yrs then we got married during our 11th yr anniversary...

siguro after wedding major adjustments talaga ang nararamdam ng couple... tipong matutulog kayo ng hindi sanay na may katabi... yung si wifey hindi marunong magluto pero napepressure magluto kasi kailangan ipagluto si hubby.... kailangan mong alamin yung gusto niyang timpla ng kape and etc... lahat ata ng couple dumadaan talaga sa major adjustments

for me malaking tulong yung marriage counseling namin sa pastor namin kasi yun yung iisipin mo pag tuwing mag aaway kayo eh yung natutunan mo nung counseling.. 

about infidelity naman so far sa 10years naman namin mag bf/gf wala naman akong nahuli sakanya or magaling lang siya magtago? hehe iniisip ko nalang na bahala na si God sakanya kung may gagawin siyang kalokohan and mahiya naman siya kung magloloko siya kasi father niya at father ko hindi nag loko dapat yun tularan hehe =)

dont forget din na ipagpray niyo lagi yung marriage/relationship niyo and everything will be alright =)

remember din na "ultimate goal of marriage is to bring glory to God"

and after akong ikasal ito na life verse ko pag may time na iniisip ko ano ba itong pinasok ko kakayanin ko kaya? yan verse na yan iniisip ko at nawawala yung worries ko =)

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.. - Philippians 4:13


God Bless satin mga sis =)

[yannuh]

Four months na kaming married and i must say everything's worth it. Agree ako kay sis miah, sobrang daming adjustments sa start ng married life, naexperience ko sya during our first month of togetherness,daming away, tampuhan kasi di pa ganun kayang sakyan ang isat isa pero ngayon sobrang happy ako kasi dun ko napatunayang mahal na mahal namin ang isat isa. 8 years kami as bf-gf pero iba pa din talaga pag kayong 2 na lang ang magkasama sa bahay. Basta more patience, love saka sobrang lawak na understanding ang key for a happy married life.

[sarsingkit]

My marriage was more of a leap of faith. Haha. Turning 5 years this year and we are still happy.

[yannuh]

^sis pinag-usapan nyo na ba yan? like alam nyo kung ano at hanggang kailan nyo maachieve yung priorities na yun? lahat naman nadadaan sa usap, phase lang yan sis:) kaya nyo yan:)

[moana]

ang sarap basahin ng mga posts ninyo, andaming natututunan. Thanks for sharing mga sis. Newly wed here, kaya hindi pa ramdam ang sinasabi nilang talagang pinagdadaanan ng mag asawa sa hirap at ginhawa. Lagi nga nila sinasabi walang perfect na relationship, magkaka problema at mag aaway kayo no matter how much you love each other. Nasa pagpapatawad, understanding and love pa rin ang dapat mananaig sa inyong dalawa.

Lagi sakin sinasabi ng magulang ko, wag na wag ninyo pag aawayan ang pera. At wag kayo matutulog sa gabi ng hindi inaayos ang di pagkakaunawaan.

Thank God, in 2 years of relationship before kami nagpakasal, never namin naging issue ang pera, not once. Kahit pa sa wedding expenses. And in 2 years, once lang kami natulog na di ok. ako kasi, selosa na wala naman dapat ika-selos. haha!



Looking forward to reading more inspiring kwento here.