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Author Topic: tips on moving on...  (Read 59152 times)

ohcmon

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #100 on: April 05, 2015, 07:16:14 pm »
What I did, I totally avoided the person. Bitter kasi ako. Kaya I treated him as if patay na sya. It was hard kasi magka officemate kami. Imagine seeing that person everyday. I blocked him sa messenger, told him not to talk to me unless it is work related, moved desk, changed my routine para lang maiwasan sya. Then I stopped talking about it/him. No emo posts sa social media. Then na surprise na lang ako I woke up one day, it didn't hurt anymore. Cant really say I have moved on pero at least it doesnt torture me anymore.

I'm in the exact situation, sis.

Officemates din kami and I must admit that it's a huge factor bakit medyo nahihirapan ano mag move on kasi nga we see each other really often. Our colleagues know what happened to us kaya medyo mas awkward, though I get to keep being friends with our office barkada tapos siya itong isolated.

Hindi naman na masakit, hindi ko lang siya kayang patawarin. As in I can go on living my life without having to think about him, pero 'di ko pa talaga siya kayang mapatawad sa ginawa niya sa'kin. I don't think I ever will. :( Does this mean I haven't moved on yet?

astarte

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #101 on: April 05, 2015, 07:38:13 pm »
Out of sight out of mind out of life. :-P

pumpkin13

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #102 on: April 07, 2015, 12:03:37 am »
I'm in the exact situation, sis.

Officemates din kami and I must admit that it's a huge factor bakit medyo nahihirapan ano mag move on kasi nga we see each other really often. Our colleagues know what happened to us kaya medyo mas awkward, though I get to keep being friends with our office barkada tapos siya itong isolated.

Hindi naman na masakit, hindi ko lang siya kayang patawarin. As in I can go on living my life without having to think about him, pero 'di ko pa talaga siya kayang mapatawad sa ginawa niya sa'kin. I don't think I ever will. :( Does this mean I haven't moved on yet?

Parang ganito din ako. Di na ko nasasaktan, okay na ko. Pero parang di ko mapatawad pa. Maybe in the future. Minsan kasi bigla ko naaalala yun ginawa sakin, di na ko nasasaktan pero nakakaramdam ako ng galit. Tapos yun pride ko parang natatamaan. Hopefully, it won't take long before I can truly forgive.

pretty_B

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #103 on: April 14, 2015, 02:16:24 pm »
i badly need tips. i am getting worst and worst. it's been 3months. back to zero ang pagmmove on.

huggykaye

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #104 on: April 14, 2015, 04:30:34 pm »
^pareho tayo sis, 3 months na din pala nakalipas ... tapos naman na ako sa acceptance stage, nandoon na ako sa forgiveness ... hindi ko lang mabigla eh... pero araw araw ko yan pinagdadasal, na sana makapagpatawad na ako, mapatawad ko na sya at ang sarili ko din...

wala ako maibigay masyado na tips, pero ang ginagawa ko mas nagrereach out ako ngayon sa mga kaibigan ko, naghahanap ng time makasama sila o kahit makausap... pag magkakasama kami, hindi namin pinaguusapan yung masamang nangyari...

isa pa, inuubos ko yung luha ko, i hate to admit it, i still cry myself to sleep... PERO, hindi na kasing dalas dati :)

pret_ty68

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #105 on: April 14, 2015, 07:06:56 pm »
^^
Baka naman kasi may nag ti trigger kaya nag ba back to zero ka. For now avoid anything that has to do with him and even persons that will remind you of him. Basta hindi mo na sya nakikita at wala ka nang nababalitaan na news sa kanya soon makaka move on ka rin.

pumpkin13

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #106 on: April 14, 2015, 09:39:59 pm »
i badly need tips. i am getting worst and worst. it's been 3months. back to zero ang pagmmove on.

I've been there, sis. Yun akala ko okay na ko, kaya ko na, tapos biglang hindi pa pala. Kaya ko pa din pala umiyak. What I did, I psyched myself up. Dati kasi kahit kasama ko friends ko or family ko, sad pa din ako. Di ako nadidistract. Pero naisip ko, sino bang lugi? Hindi naman sya. Sya kasama nya mga taong gusto nya kasama, na hindi ko na makasama dahil sa breakup, tapos ako di ako naaappreciate yun mga tao sa paligid ko. So I made the effort to really reach out to my friends, enjoy my time with them. Same with my family, nag organize ako ng out-of-town, minsan sa bahay lang videoke with my brothers and mom and tito and tita din. Nagplan din ako ng sarili kong travels, etc. Anything that would help me move on. I did all that hindi para ipakita sa kanya na kaya kong wala sya, but para ipakita sa sarili ko na okay lang naman pala ako eh kahit wala sya. And I did move on.

I still think of the ex sometimes, pero yun mga tipong naalala ko lang kasi may nakita ako na something na may memory nya. Pero I'm glad na kahit maalala ko, walang pain. Dati kasi konting maisip ko lang, ang sakit agad sa dibdib.

So konti pa, ookay ka din. :)

joyie15

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #107 on: April 15, 2015, 05:38:15 am »
this is my first time to post here...

I am finding ways on how to lessen the burden that I have to go through everyday to overcome the most painful breakup I had just recently, so I am posting my story.

My boyfriend and I were together for almost 4 years. I am confident and I trust him that he won't cheat on me. Come 2015, for some reasons I just felt odd, when we are together, sometimes he calls me "baby" when in fact we call each other "babe". The first time I just let it go, but the "Baby" calling repeats, so I asked. He got angry and told me that that's what he hates about me, keep on insisting when there's really nothing. One time I saw him sending a picture of himself through imessage to someone, I asked him, para kanino yan? he said for my Mom, but of course I didn't believe that. The last time I remember, he sends me pictures pag naglalambing siya, and then again since he sid that's nothing I believed his explanation.

Then, the big day came. I was out on a Saturday night to meet up with some friends i haven't meet in years. I was excited to party that night. Then an unknown number called me twice which I missed. Then he texted me, don't answer the call. I asked him why, sino yun? Then he asked me to call, so I called him up. He is asking me to pick him up somewhere so I asked why are you there? He said don't ask just pick me up and I will explain everything later. I was already in a panic situation so I called the number, it was a girl she asked me who am I. To cut the story short I just found out that my boyfriend is living in with another girl, a girl he met 4 months ago. She checked the phone of my ex and found my number on blocked numbers. (so ganun if magkasama sila nakablock pala yung # ko kaya pala minsan ang tagal nya sumagot sa texts ko).

Yes we are both victims here, but the sad part is, he texted me to still pick him up but i didn't show up. And then i just found out from the girl that she forgave him as he promised to fix everything for them. I also found out that this girl is married and her husband is overseas.

I called him the next day I asked him where he is he said "andito ako sa girlfriend ko" i asked where, he said "hindi mo na kelangan malaman". Then he hung up. I received a text saying "Mahal ko ang girlfriend ko so please stop, I can't live without her". Asan naman ang justice? 4 years kmi sila 4 months? may mas sasakit pa dun?

So now, I am really having a hard time moving on. I have a lot of questions, I cannot function normally. And what's worse is we are working on the same office and i see him everyday. :(

What can I do to at least ease the pain.....

pumpkin13

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #108 on: April 15, 2015, 07:25:25 am »
^Aaargh! Nasasaktan ako! I hate cheaters and heartbreakers! Sis, you can read all the pieces of advice here, tips we've shared, but we know that those will not save you from the pain. So I say, cry it out, feel the pain, kasi dun magstart ang process of moving on. Acceptance may not come as easily as you may want it, but eventually you'll get there. After all the crying and wallowing, slowly but surely pick yourself up again. Seek support from your family and friends. They'll be a big help. They were the biggest help for me when I was duped, too.

zelda

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #109 on: April 15, 2015, 07:43:22 am »
@joyie15:

Eh, isa't kalahating stupido pala ang ex mo!  >:( Dapat dyan pinapabugbog. Chos lang!
I think, in this case, you know the answer. Wag kang maghahabol. Just completely ignore him. For me, those questions don't need any answers. Better wag mo nang hingin. It's hard but you'll hurt yourself more if you give him a chance to answer your questions. Cheaters will just continue to lie.

Believe me, it's hard since same office kayo. Iiyak mo, magwala ka if you want but not in front of him. I agree to having a support group.  ;) You'll need these people. Just grieve and wallow kung yun ang need mo.

Cut all communication with him. Believe me, magtataka pa yun bakit di ka nangulit. hehe

pretty_B

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #110 on: April 15, 2015, 10:21:46 am »
thanks sa replies sisters! :)

to sis huggykaye, sis pret_ty68 and sis pumpkin13, yung ika-3rd month ng break up namin inabangan ko pa talaga! (kagagawan ni popoy at basha ito! haha.) sobrang takot ako na dumating yung araw na yun kasi on that day i'll have to accept the fact na hindi pa din ako nakakamoveon sakanya. :'( until dumating nga yung araw na yun and poof! BACK TO ZERO AKO! :'( it's like the first days of our breakup. i always think of him esp bago matulog pag nagiisa na ako. mejo binawasan ko na ang time ko sa FB para di na makaalam ng anything about him pero syempre di maiwasan. and ang pinakalately na nalaman ko eh lumabas sya with friends, 4 sila - 2 boys, 2 girls - at yung isang girl dun eh [textspeak!] dati ko pang pinagseselosan. hays. gusto ko na makamoveon talaga. :(

to sis joyie15, my heart broke when i read your story. nakakainis yang ex mo!!!  >:( sana makayanan mo yan sis. :(

huggykaye

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #111 on: April 15, 2015, 11:00:33 am »
^ totoo yan sis, pag mag isa na lang biglang susulpot yung thought about him diba, tapos ayun na naman, malungkot na naman... ganyan din ako pag pauwi na galing office madalas kasi wala ako kasabay, kaya minsan pag nag aabang ako ng train, tulala kahit andami daming tao, maya maya teary eyed na ako haha parang baliw lang... basta yung moment na mag isa ka lang, sya talaga maiisip mo, lalo na bago matulog... ='( alam ko gradually makaka move on din, i'm just trying to live with the pain na lang muna, mauubos din yun :)

@sis joyie15, nakakalungkot naman officemates pa kayo, :( parang ang hirap nga nun... as in nakikita mo sya from your seat or nagkakasalubong lang around the office? yang tipo ng ex mo ang madaling pakawalan dahil sa ginawa nya sa yo... hayaan mo na sya dun sa babaeng yun magkagulo buhay nila, ang komplikado pala... isipin mo na lang sarili mo sis, tama si sis zelda, ignore him, the sweetest revenge, as if he never mattered to you...alam ko mahirap =( but you have to be stronger sis... lalo na ganon ang ginawa nya sayo... surround yourself with your trusted friends sa office nyo, malakas makapawi ng hirap at lungkot ang love from friends and family din of course :)

pretty_B

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #112 on: April 15, 2015, 11:49:27 am »
^yes sis. pag magisa nalang ako, wala na. naiiyak nalang ako basta basta. pero as long as nasa labas ako, di naman gaanong nalulungkot. mas madalas kapag papatulog na. natatakot ako na one day pag may iba na sya (lalo na kung kakilala or [textspeak!] poinagseselosan ko pa before), baka di ko kayanin. :( nattempt ako na unahan syang magkaroon. huhu. yung rebound ganun. though i know, di tama. :( ang hirap magmoveon kasi wala namang maling nagawa si bf. (or niloloko ko lang sarili ko)

to sis joyie15... tama si sis huggykaye! yung ex mo yung tipo ng ex na madaling kalimutan (just my opinion lang din). kasi sya walang kwenta! sinayang lang nya lahat lahat and nangcheat pa sya. ang kapal pa ng mukha nyang sabihin na tigilan mo na sya. hays. kaya sis joyie, kaya mo yan!  :-*

pumpkin13

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #113 on: April 15, 2015, 02:02:18 pm »
thanks sa replies sisters! :)

to sis huggykaye, sis pret_ty68 and sis pumpkin13, yung ika-3rd month ng break up namin inabangan ko pa talaga! (kagagawan ni popoy at basha ito! haha.) sobrang takot ako na dumating yung araw na yun kasi on that day i'll have to accept the fact na hindi pa din ako nakakamoveon sakanya. :'( until dumating nga yung araw na yun and poof! BACK TO ZERO AKO! :'( it's like the first days of our breakup. i always think of him esp bago matulog pag nagiisa na ako. mejo binawasan ko na ang time ko sa FB para di na makaalam ng anything about him pero syempre di maiwasan. and ang pinakalately na nalaman ko eh lumabas sya with friends, 4 sila - 2 boys, 2 girls - at yung isang girl dun eh [textspeak!] dati ko pang pinagseselosan. hays. gusto ko na makamoveon talaga. :(

to sis joyie15, my heart broke when i read your story. nakakainis yang ex mo!!!  >:( sana makayanan mo yan sis. :(

Sis, I stalked pa dati. Every day. Every time I'd get the chance. I'd check everyone's FB, including our friends' para lang malaman ko what they are up to, kasama na ba nila yun new girl, etc. Minsan nagfifish ako ng information. Until I came to the point na, wth! muka na ko t*nga. Ako na nga ang g*n*go, ako pa din ang mukang t*nga sa huli. So I stopped it. And nung wala na ko nalalaman about them, nasanay na lang ako na wala na ako pakialam. I focused on my thing than theirs. Kasi naisip ko, ano naman ngayon kung makasagap ako ng balita? Will that make me feel good? Or mag iisip lang ako lalo?

And sis, try mo na din na hindi mag count ng months. Just go on with your life. Mapapansin mo na lang antagal na pala. Baka nga makalimutan mo na din yun date ng breakup. Or maybe totally makalimutan mo na sya.

pretty_B

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #114 on: April 15, 2015, 02:53:16 pm »
^thanks sis. hays. naiinis lang kasi ako na baka mamaya ang ipalit nya sakin eh yung girl na pinagseselosan ko noon pa. grabe. kung nagkataon kasi baka kahit papaano may factor si girl kaya nakipagbreak sakin si ex. hays. sana respect naman. senior kasi nila akong dalawa if ever. mejo naapakan pride ko dun ah. :( i know ang pangit ng ganitong way of thinking. hays.

sana nga sis, makayanan ko. gusto ko na din makalimot. pero mejo di pa din ako makapaniwala na wala na kami. akala ko ba ako yung girl na ipinagdasal nya kay Lord. :( walang third party sa break up namin (i still believe in that), kaya ang hirap. :(

our break up was "smooth" eka nga. kaya ang hirap magmove on. hays.

pumpkin13

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Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #115 on: April 15, 2015, 04:34:07 pm »
^My ex cheated on me, although di naman sila nun girl. Friends sila, and nafall sya dun. So emotional cheating. Sinabi nya sakin directly, and that was durig a moment when I thought it was our happiest. No signs whatsoever that we were having problems. So nun sinabi nya sakin yun directly, bam! ang sakit! Detailed pa nga eh. Na naiisip daw nya yun girl kahit kasama nya ako, na wala daw sya maisip na makakasama sa buhay but her, that she's the only one na nagpapasaya sa kanya. Nakatunganga ako habang sinasabi sakin yun. I felt like dying. Then we broke up. I moved out of our place (we were sharing with friends). And I lost those friends. Kasi sabi nila for me to move on daw kelangan ko putulin communication, and I didn't know na pati pala communication ko with them mawawala. And I hated them for deciding for me. Tapos sila magkakasama; ako walang kasama, literally. I moved to an apartment by myself, brokenhearted, financially challenged and alone.

Tapos every day mangstalk ako. I needed to know if sila na ba nung girl. Wala ako mahanap na info. Every day iniisip ko yun, nappraning ako, umiiyak ako. Officemates pa sila, so they see each other every freakin day. Partners din sila sa isang project sa office.  I was so miserable. Tapos yun isang friend namin, sinabihan pa ko na, "Wala ka na pakialam since break na kayo." I was hurt kasi parang ang insensitive.

So I had no choice but to move on with my life, help myself, along with a few chosen friends' support. And then one time, a common friend got hospitalized. I only found out through FB kasi she posted a picture of a cake with a caption, "Thank you, (name of the new girl) for the surprise visit." Ang sakit na naman, na yung girl sinasama na ni ex para mabisita yun friend namin sa hospital.

So I let go of them all. No one even asked me how I was doing. I focused on myself, how I'd pick the broken pieces up again. Yun pride ko din kasi na nagmuka akong kawawa. And I can't stay that way for long. So it's how you stride, sis. Yun parang akala mo hindi mo kaya, pero kaya mo pala. Ganyan din ako nun, di ako makapaniwala. Ang hirap tanggapin that the person who was once closest to me became a total stranger, the only person who knew me well could hurt me that much. Pero ngayon, may iba na kong buhay. And it hasn't been a year since the breakup. A common friend contacted me and asked, "Tapos ka na bang umiwas?" And I was like, "Wtf! Hindi ako umiwas. Kayo ang nagdecide na dapat putulin ang communication ko even with you. But thank you, it helped. I didn't avoid you, guys, I just changed my dynamics." That's what I said. And sa dynamics na yun, di na sila kasali. I found out who my real friends are, who would stick with me through all the drama.

I hope you'd find peace, too, sis. Just hang on and believe that you'll be fine. And avoid doing things that you know will hurt you and won't do you any good. Cheers! :)

momentum

  • Guest
Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #116 on: April 15, 2015, 07:32:07 pm »
^ wow sis pumpkin hirap ng pinagdaanan mo na lahat ng friends mo tinalikuran ka. Grabe rin ex mo.

Buti nalang sis you got over him na..

pumpkin13

  • Guest
Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #117 on: April 15, 2015, 07:56:55 pm »
^Oo sis. Buti meron ako friends outside of that circle. Pero that group kasi once became my family since we lived together for years. Kaya multiple sakit. Pero okay na din. Nilakasan ko na lang loob ko bumangon mag isa.

ohcmon

  • Guest
Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #118 on: April 16, 2015, 08:27:46 am »
Huhu I got crazy hammered last night and sent my ex a post-drinking text. :(

Can't remember what I said kasi I deleted it agad this morning dahil sa hiya ko sa sarili ko. But I remember saying something like "hindi na dapat pero sobrang mahal na mahal pa rin kita" chenes chenes waaaaa.

It's been two months since the breakup and I was so doing well. We see each other every day in the office pero deadma lang ako kahit ang dami kong tanong sa kanya dahil wala kaming maayos na closure, and I've never sent him a single text until last night. I feel like I'm back to square one. Kainis lang. :(

17glut

  • Guest
Re: tips on moving on...
« Reply #119 on: April 16, 2015, 10:41:41 am »
^by doing that, you just boosted his ego.  :-\

 

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