^My ex cheated on me, although di naman sila nun girl. Friends sila, and nafall sya dun. So emotional cheating. Sinabi nya sakin directly, and that was durig a moment when I thought it was our happiest. No signs whatsoever that we were having problems. So nun sinabi nya sakin yun directly, bam! ang sakit! Detailed pa nga eh. Na naiisip daw nya yun girl kahit kasama nya ako, na wala daw sya maisip na makakasama sa buhay but her, that she's the only one na nagpapasaya sa kanya. Nakatunganga ako habang sinasabi sakin yun. I felt like dying. Then we broke up. I moved out of our place (we were sharing with friends). And I lost those friends. Kasi sabi nila for me to move on daw kelangan ko putulin communication, and I didn't know na pati pala communication ko with them mawawala. And I hated them for deciding for me. Tapos sila magkakasama; ako walang kasama, literally. I moved to an apartment by myself, brokenhearted, financially challenged and alone.
Tapos every day mangstalk ako. I needed to know if sila na ba nung girl. Wala ako mahanap na info. Every day iniisip ko yun, nappraning ako, umiiyak ako. Officemates pa sila, so they see each other every freakin day. Partners din sila sa isang project sa office. I was so miserable. Tapos yun isang friend namin, sinabihan pa ko na, "Wala ka na pakialam since break na kayo." I was hurt kasi parang ang insensitive.
So I had no choice but to move on with my life, help myself, along with a few chosen friends' support. And then one time, a common friend got hospitalized. I only found out through FB kasi she posted a picture of a cake with a caption, "Thank you, (name of the new girl) for the surprise visit." Ang sakit na naman, na yung girl sinasama na ni ex para mabisita yun friend namin sa hospital.
So I let go of them all. No one even asked me how I was doing. I focused on myself, how I'd pick the broken pieces up again. Yun pride ko din kasi na nagmuka akong kawawa. And I can't stay that way for long. So it's how you stride, sis. Yun parang akala mo hindi mo kaya, pero kaya mo pala. Ganyan din ako nun, di ako makapaniwala. Ang hirap tanggapin that the person who was once closest to me became a total stranger, the only person who knew me well could hurt me that much. Pero ngayon, may iba na kong buhay. And it hasn't been a year since the breakup. A common friend contacted me and asked, "Tapos ka na bang umiwas?" And I was like, "Wtf! Hindi ako umiwas. Kayo ang nagdecide na dapat putulin ang communication ko even with you. But thank you, it helped. I didn't avoid you, guys, I just changed my dynamics." That's what I said. And sa dynamics na yun, di na sila kasali. I found out who my real friends are, who would stick with me through all the drama.
I hope you'd find peace, too, sis. Just hang on and believe that you'll be fine. And avoid doing things that you know will hurt you and won't do you any good. Cheers!
