tips on moving on...

[redhead69]

-Go through it not around it.
-Create a new world : Create your own safe world,full of new friends who wouldn’t recognize him/her in a crowd and don’t know how to spell his/her name,where he/she is not allowed to drop by for a figurative or literal surprise visit.
-Work on forgiving yourself, keep in mind that if you want to feel love again in the future, the first step is to prepare yourself to give and receive it. You can only do that if you feel love toward yourself and that means forgiving yourself.
-Reconnect with who you are outside a relationship
-Everything about holding on a relationship that isnt working is torturous. You regret, you feel ashamed and guilty, you rehash, you obsess. its all an exercise in suffering. The only way to feel peace is to quiet the thoughts that threaten it.
- Be strong and positive. Easier said than done of course, but the stronger-willed we are, the less likely we are to make bad decisions and be taken advantage of by the hard-to-resist EXs.


The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper.

[Uridessey]

I just wanna share this with you girls. I can relate din kasi dito and I am also in the process of moving on.

http://www.thedailyawe.com/2013/02/why-are-soulmate-relationships-so-painful/

[hedonista]

Read The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
Focus on loving yourself muna

- yan ginawa ko after breakup in 2010 pero may mga 3 days ako do pathetic things iyak go to his house etc. then ayan I read the secret. tapos I work on my physical attributes - rejuvenate, spa, massage, everything about wellness and being.

Masaya maging single ulit. take it as a blessing to know yourself better and in time you may meet the one for you. in my case he came back and now my husband.

Lagi ang break up iniisip kasi panghihinayang, oo masakit etc. look at the other side. think outside the box. ano yung mga pede mo gawin ngayon na d mo nagagawa before

[angel..]

The first huge thing that I did was to move out of our place. Earlier this year pa kami magkahiwalay pero magkasama pa rin kami. Kumusta naman yun di ba. All of my friends think I'm crazy that I'm still staying in our place, sharing the same bed pero wala na. Last month something happened that I really cannot ignore and was taking a toll on me so one fine day I decided to move out that very weekend.

I already know what to do to move on eh. Focus on myself, keep busy with activities and all pero really, super hirap talaga. I think what I need to do is get over the first step: ACCEPTANCE and everything will follow from there. Pero yun nga, ang hirap talaga. Minsan, di ko alam kung bakit nakaka-iyak pa ko, tipong dapat by now dehydrated na ko sa kakaiyak

Anyway, I found this when I was looking for successful moving on stories, maybe this can help:

http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/

[bettebette]

Nasa denial stage ka pa na maybe someday magkakabalikan din kayo ulit. Thats completely normal considering 5 yrs relationship nyo. Now that he somewhat seem to have ended it, you have two choices to make:
1. You accept his decision and move on -or-
2. You deny him of his freedom so that you both wont move on.

I really suggest you go for 1. If you want to dive into 2, prepare yourself for more complications in your life.
If you feel that you've wasted time with him, dont be. Dyan ka natututo. Pero pangit din magwaste ng time kung alam mong tinapos na ng isa sa inyo ang relasyon, dba? So save time, move on. And to move on, you have to go out and try not to communicate with him, even if he forces you to.

[SarSi_Em]

if decided ka na mag move on, make sure putulin mo na lahat ng communication mo sa kanya. baka maging urong sulong ka lang, naka move forward then pag nakausap mo na maging hopia ka uli, mag step back ka naman.

iyak mo lang ng iyak kapag nalulungkot ka para matapos at mapagod ka na rin, next time maiisip mo na rin bakit mo pinahirapan sarili mo, titigil ka rin sa kaka emo at kaka iyak.

nagpapakasaya sya, ikaw nagmumukmok, so gumala ka rin, mag paganda, mag pa feeling available uli, at gawin mo mga bagay ng d mo magawa dahil sa kanya,

isipin mo mga nega nya nagawa, at un positive itapon sa balon.

bilangin mo un araw o oras naubos mo sa kakaisip at kakaiyak sa kanya. maghihinayang ka sa laki ng oras nawala sayo, dapat madami ka na nagawa para sa future mo.

maghanap ka ng sports. para maubos ang energy mo dun at di sa kakaisip sa kanya.

at higit sa lahat dont forget to smile. kahit may kirot pa rin sa loob, mag smile pa rin, tumawa, manood ng comedy at iwasan ang drama. makaka attract ka ng positive sa self mo at sa ibang tao din.

so far yan mga bagay na ginawa ko para maka move on.

[Yamski]

Hindi pa 'ko nakaka-move on completely pero I've taken a few steps to take care of my heart:

The first step I did? I deleted all his numbers. Hindi ko memorize yung numbers niya because papalit palit sya.

Next, I went to smart and have my number changed. In that way, hindi ako aasa ng any text from him nor will he have ways of suddenly texting me.

Third, I blocked all his accounts sa facebook. No, hindi dahil bitter ako, ayoko lang magkaron siya ng easy way to message me.

Fourth, I asked my cousins and family to block him rin for the same reason as the third.

Fifth, nag-"unfriend" ako ng mga common friends namin.

Lastly, nag-"unfriend" rin ako ng family at mga relatives niya. My reason here naman ay para hindi ako makatanggap ng kahit anong updates about him. Eventually kasi, makakasama na yung new girl sa mga "big events" sa family. At ayokong ma-witness pa yun. Baka pati wedding nila makita ko pa.

Pero hindi ko naman basta unfriend lang yung immediate family niya. Inexplain ko naman sa kanila yung reasons ko. Naintindihan naman nila. 10 years ba naman kami kaya wala silang choice kung hindi suportahan lang lahat ng bagay na makakatulong sa'kin para maka-move on.

I'm feeling better now. Hindi na parang roller coaster na okay ako, bukas hindi, sa susunod hindi nanaman. Mas mahirap kasi pag yung pain is laging naactivate ng new things about him. Mas bearable for me yung pain na dulot ng "tapos na talaga" rather than yung pain na dulot ng uncertainties - nakakagulo kasi talaga ng nararamdaman pag nice and sweet pa rin sa'kin si ex when he should not be na. Kaya parang cold turkey talaga yung ginawa kong means of stopping this "bisyo."

[17glut]

Never fight the process. Cry all you want until you feel numb.

[krystalB]

KAILANGAN KO 'TO.

[fredprinz]

It took me more than 2 years before finally being able to move on, without lying to myself.

OK lang na masaktan, umiyak, magwala pero think of the days/months/years na nasasayang dahil sa process na 'yun.

I learned to love myself first and it really helped.

Some things to help you move on:

1) Find a new hobby - Keep yourself busy, since you're single, this is the best chance for you to try something new. Travel alone, run, go to the gym, learn a new language, kahit ano basta 'wag ka mate-tengga.

2) Be open to your family and friends - Huwag maging in denial, iba pag may support group ka. Go out, maginom kung gusto mo, pero always reflect on the lessons you learned from your past relationship.

3) Learn to accept that life is unfair - Hindi lahat ng bagay makukuha naten. If we're living in an ideal world, e di sana lahat masaya. Be confident and always, always stay positive.

4) Meet new people and date - Single ka, why not date? You're not cheating and this gives you the opportunity to learn more about the people you meet.


Hindi madali, pero kelan mo sisimulan? =)

[Larrah]

I FEEL LOST & BROKEN... Sometimes naiisip ko I don't mind dying or di na lang magising sa pagtulog ko. Ang sakit sakit!!! One week pa lang kame nag break and in those days nakakulong lang ako sa kwarto: crying, thinking, reading advices online, reading books, meditation, prayer, at kung ano ano pa...   Feeling ko masisiraan nako ng bait at talaga. I can't function normally anymore. Di makakain, I isolate myself to everyone, cos I feel like my comfort zone right now is to grief and there's no activity, place or people that can make me happy right at this moment.

GOD PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I NEED YOU!!!!!!!! HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!!!

[pret_ty68]

^
Hang on sis. Ganyan talaga yan sa umpisa pero in time ma ka ka move on ka rin. I know na at this time kahit anong sabihin sayo parang walang sense pero lahat naman na napagdaanan na yan nagsasabi na "time heals" so naniniwala ako na ma kaka move on ka rin paunti unti. For now avoid muna anything that will remind you of him.

[zelda]

^^ Just take your time to wallow and grieve.

[itsnikimendoza]

I FEEL LOST & BROKEN... Sometimes naiisip ko I don't mind dying or di na lang magising sa pagtulog ko. Ang sakit sakit!!! One week pa lang kame nag break and in those days nakakulong lang ako sa kwarto: crying, thinking, reading advices online, reading books, meditation, prayer, at kung ano ano pa...   Feeling ko masisiraan nako ng bait at talaga. I can't function normally anymore. Di makakain, I isolate myself to everyone, cos I feel like my comfort zone right now is to grief and there's no activity, place or people that can make me happy right at this moment.

GOD PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I NEED YOU!!!!!!!! HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!!!

Hi sis.. I know how painful it is to be on your position.. Been there done that.. Siguro all I can say is, "feel the pain until it hurts no more." walang easy way to move on, it's an every day process na kailangan mo pagdaaanan. pray and pray and pray. Si God lang at ang sarili mo ang makakatulong sayo.. kahit ilang beses pa namin sabihin na okay lang yan, makakamove on ka rin, wala namang effect yun kasi masakit talaga.. so siguro just keep the faith and hope na it will pass din.

[Larrah]

^ ^ ^ Thank you mga sis sa advices niyo... I just had to let out what's inside me... Kasi from what I read, sabi nila you have to share it and let it out. Nakakalungkot talaga, I know one day I will be able to move on... medyo fresh pa kaya this is the worst feeling ever...

Thank you mga sis... I really appreciate the support. God bless you all.

[maria helga]

Ikwento mo lang nang ikwento hanggang mapagod ka. Mamamalayan mo na lang wala na palang epekto. Di na masakit. Pero it really takes time. And wag na wag kang titingin sa Facebook nya o nung ipinalit nya sayo (if meron agad). Di makakatulong pag updated ka pa rin sa buhay nya.

[SarSi_Em]

sis larrah, ganyan din ako last year, dito ako sa GT nag bubuhos ng sama ng loob kasi pagod na mga friends ko sakin pag dating sa lovelife hehe.

sa simula talaga masakit, iyak mo lang, mag da drama ka lang. marami talaga papasok sa utak mo, may mga stages ka pa dadaanan. just be strong sis, nakaya namin, makakaya mo rin yan!

if need mo mag ranting, or kausap, pm me, may 2 GT sis tumulong sakin nung nasa ganyan stage ako, nag pm ako sa kanila, and tyaga rin nila sumagot sakin.. laking tulong nagawa nila sakin lalo na wala na ko makausap.

[Larrah]

Thank you sis! I really appreciate it! Although my PM is not activated yet... Kelan ba ma-e-enable yung PM ko?

[itsnikimendoza]

^uy sis I'm just a message away too! been there done that kaya in times like that kailangan mo talaga ng taong mahihingahan ng lahat ng pains mo.. yung matyaga makinig kahit paulit ulit ka nang magsabi na nasasaktan ka na.. (which is normal) basta wag ka mawalan ng pag asa na darating ang tamang panahon na magiging okay din ang lahat..

[itsnikimendoza]

^sabi nga nila, the opposite of love is not hate but apathy. So glad to read this.