How to enjoy your 20's if you still have strict parents?

[simang]

^good for you sarah, nakakatuwa marinig na at 21 you're focused on building a family na. :-)

Ako namn medyo late bloomer, nagstart ako lumabas labas in college (17 or 18 ako that time) but same di ako umiinom and nagssmoke, though all my friends did. I wasn't living with my parents (I stayed with my sisters in Manila while my parents are abroad), kaya siguro medyo feeling ko di sila strict. More than my parents i think mas kinatakutan ko pa ang boyfriend ko noon, usually sa kanya ako magpapaalam if pwede akong sumama. Madalas di sya pumapayag, may linya pa syang "drink that alcohol and you'll never hear of me again" hashtag dramaqueen

Anyway to answer the topic, i guess mahirap talaga. I would say na if you live with your parents, then it's more apt to follow their rules. I'm not sure what you mean by 'enjoy' but if you're talking about not being bossed around and being more independent, then I guess the best way is to move out. Of course hindi sya madali but syempre as an adult, di naman pwedeng enjoy lang ng enjoy without responsibilities diba. Siguro that way your parents will see din na you can do things on your own already.

[starfishqueen]

consider moving out and living on your own.

[minnie99]

Hello mga sis with strict parents. Question, have you ever gone traveling abroad with your boyfriend? And paano kayo pinayagan? Hehe. Ang hirap naman kasi magpaalam. I know I have to take a "chaperone" with me, pero siyempre ayoko ngang ilibre yun no!

[Girltalker2]

^ how old are you na?

I am also interested how this happens these days. Kasi during our time, this is very much a taboo. But times have changed and I think as parents, we have to eventually accept this.

I assume when you say magpaalam - is ask permission, and not to let your parents know (sabihan lang sila).  Parang the fact na kelangan ka pa "magpaalam" means you are not yet there to go travelling with anyone you want.  So travelling with BF now may not be a good idea yet, maybe later?

 

[minnie99]

^ 24 na sis. My brother is always able to go with his girlfriend when she travels abroad (Asia lang naman and always with a friend), and he doesn't even have to ask for permission, pinapa-alam lang niya.

Since I started working when I was 21, I never had to ask permission to travel with friends; I just had to book (using my own money), tapos pag naka-book na, I tell them. They don't object naman. Siyempre when going with bf, that's a different story. I actually managed to go on an overnight trip with him sa outing ng company, since he was a former officemate, nabanggit ko na lang a few days before, dahil dun lang din siya pinayagan sa new work niya. Wala namang comment, siyempre kasama naman mga motherhood sa office.

I actually entertained the thought na magbu-book muna, of course, I am taking my best friend with us naman. Pero siyempre, mas okay naman to tell the truth in the first place. Was just wondering paano ko ico-construct yung "request for permission" (parang office lang, hehe) ko. Coz my sister is actually planning on going too, so baka pwedeng sabay kami sa kanya?

I mean, I know mas malaki yung chance na hindi ako payagan, pero as they say nga, unless you try, hindi ka man lang magkakaroon ng 50% chance.

[simang]

^sis, how strict are your parents? As long as may kasama kayong iba, siguro naman papayagan ka nila.

My parents are not strict pero i remember yung ate ko before magtravel sila ng bf nya (ex na ngayon) to hk silang 2 lang. Nung pinaalam nya sa parents ko na aalis sila, nagalit si mama and hindi sya pinayagan. My sister was around 24 or 25 siguro that time. Sa sobrang inis ng ate ko she asked my mom to pay her back lahat ng expenses nila (plane ticket, hotel, booked tour, etc) which my mom obliged, para lang talaga di sila umalis. I guess it's partly because that ex bf of my ate, hindi sya masyadong close sa parents ko. Pasaway kase yun kaya ayaw nila dun.

Personally naman sa experience ko, madalas kami magtravel ng bf ko either with friends or kami lang. Usually, everything is planned na and sinasabi ko na lang sa parents ko kung san kami pupunta, wala naman silang reklamo. In fact, one time we went to boracay, kasama whole family ko + bf + another couple friend. Sa hotel, nakahiwalay pa kami ng room. Nasa isang room family ko (sister, another sis and his husband and kid, plus my dad), and then separate room kami ng bf and nung couple friends namin. Okay lang sa tatay ko, although alam ko at the back of his head iniisip nya baka nagfofoursome kame lol. Siguro part din was my bf is very close to my sisters and respectful naman sya kay papa kaya yung trust, nandun.

Make sure lang your parents trust yourpartner as much as they trust you.

[dr.thereal.joy]

@minnie99 yung nagtour kami ni bf now h2b nakabili na ng ticket yung parents ni h2b papuntang hawaii and pabalik ng pinas. Partida ala pa akong visa nun. Feb ko nalaman june na yung flight and i need to renew my passport and get a visa. Si mama tanggap na niya kasi ganito na raw panahon ngayon. Pero nagwoworry siya sa visa and other gastos. Si papa ang di panatag at first kasi sana ikasal muna kami before magtour. Basta todo sabi lang na mag ingat hehe. Yung mga previous tour namin lahat bawal. Yung nagtour kami naman na kasama parents niya, parents niya pa nagpaalam para sa akin and dapat pinas lang (hong kong sana) hahaha.

Buti lang pinayagan kami sa Hawaii. Sa Mauna [textspeak!] nagpropose sa akin si h2b.

[zu_0420]

Hay salamat. Meron ganitong thread. Kailangan ko lang talagang mag-unload mga sis. Hindi na man sa may sama ng loob ako sa parents ko, it's just that, NAKAKASAKAL na talaga sila. I'm earning na, and para makasave ako so I can move out, I realized na mas baon pa ako sa utang here sa house. Wala akong say kung pinapabayad nila ako ng kuryente, etc., pero yung ipaaccount sakin kung saan ko ginasto yung earnings ko, including yung pinanalunan ko sa Speech Contest ko nun "5years" ago, para naman akong 10years old niyan. I'm in my 20s na. And I'm "trying" to study law kasi nga, gusto nila na magpursue ako ng law. Pero ang hirap nito, ako ngbabayad ng tuition ko, plus sa books ko pa. Kung fresh graduate ka, then trabaho mo is Online Marketing, saan ka kukuha ng money para pambayad sa law school? pasalamat naman ako sa kanila dahil pinagtapos nila ako ng college sa isang magandang skwelahan. Pero utang na loob. Meron din po akong mga gustong gawin sa buhay ko. Gusto namin magpakasal ng boyfriend ko, tapos dapat yung lalaki magbayad ng lahat ng expenses, okay naman siya dun, considering na within his budget lang din. However, sabi ni Mom, prominent daw kami na family, dapat maghanda daw si boyfie ng at least 200k para sa kasal namin. Hindi naman baon sa hirap boyfriend ko, pero hindi rin siya ganyan kayaman na automatic may 200k sa bulsa. I badly wanna move out na Paano ba to?!

[iwannabeasupermodel]

Mukha akong teenager na gusto magpakawala, pero I'm 23 years old, working, have a boyfriend and still has STRICT parents who has 9pm curfew on weekdays and 11:00 on weekends.

My parents doesnt like the idea of drinking and masyadong ginagabi.  Back in college nung wala pa ako boyfriend, they would allow me naman to do sleepovers tas ayun, dun ako nakakalabas with my friends. Parties and such.  Pero ngayon na working na, medyo mas naging strict??!! Weird ba, or baka kasi, san ka pa nga naman pupunta afer work diba? Tas they still get mad pag sunod sunod yung alis ko.

Ang childish ba ng problema pero nakakainggit lang yung mga taong who can do party night outs. Siguro nammiss ko lang din yung college life ko kasi I get to do that by just saying na its a sleepover. But now, with boyfriend and all, medyo mahirap na ipa-alam ang "sleepover" na yan. So I usually go home before midnight and my friends can stay later. Andun pa sila nageenjoy, ako pauwi na.  Nakakalungkot.

Anyone who are in the same position? Tips and advice?

Ps. Wag na sabihin "kausapin ng maayos ang parents". We all know how stubborn kausapin ang mga magulang. Nakakasira lang ng araw.

Isa lang naisip ko: Shopping! Shopping! Shopping! Hahahaa.

[chubbycheeks]

When I started earning my own money at 21, di na ko nagpapaalam sa bahay.  Nagkkwento lang kasi curious sila sa work ko (call center) pero since I work at night, nasanay na din sila na buong gabi ako wala sa house and inuumaga na umuwi.  So they don't really notice pag gumigimik ako, they just think na i have work. Pag overnight naman or out of town trips, i say na outing sa office.  I never say na bf kasama ko, I always say na im with friends kasi I don't want them to worry.  I think what they don't know won't hurt them. They just want to be informed kung uuwi ba ko or kung nakarating ba ko ng maayos wherever im going. I still follow their rules kasi i live at home. Well, ganun talaga unless i want to move out again.

[tisaygirl123]

Count me in. haha!
What I did para makatakas ako is that, nag apartment ako. I pay for my own and sympre M-F lang naman ang office namin. but sinasabi ko may work pa ng saturdays so gumigimik ako pag friday night.
They don't have an idea din na umiinom ako, gumigimik or whatever you call it.
sa pag boboyfriend, ayaw nila ng laging nag da-date. may time limit at tawag ng tawag.

Good thing ngayon medyo nakakaligtas na ako. Dati talaga 5PM curfew uwi nako dapat agad. or sinusundo ako or dapat hatid ako. pag nalate ako hindi na talaga ko papayagan. 

[kaiz]

Hello mga sis with strict parents. Question, have you ever gone traveling abroad with your boyfriend? And paano kayo pinayagan? Hehe. Ang hirap naman kasi magpaalam. I know I have to take a "chaperone" with me, pero siyempre ayoko ngang ilibre yun no!

my dad was clear with his rules, bawal yan kasi distraction sa studies. so ok, hindi na rin ako nag insist. went on a trip with a bf na kami lang, eh graduate na ako.

kaya naman yata mag enjoy kahit strict parents. that is why i admire yung sa interview ni kris ky toni and her mom. yung kung gano sila kahigpit even now that she's on the right age na

[Annie M.]

Hello mga sis with strict parents. Question, have you ever gone traveling abroad with your boyfriend? And paano kayo pinayagan? Hehe. Ang hirap naman kasi magpaalam. I know I have to take a "chaperone" with me, pero siyempre ayoko ngang ilibre yun no!

Gawin nyong barkada trip, para di halata. Magyaya kayo ng ibang friends, group travel kunwari. Tell your parents you are all staying in one family room/hostel, para di sila mag-worry na dalawa lang kayo ni BF. This was what I did para maka-travel with an ex-bf years ago. Hahaha!

[purple.strawberry]

Can relate here. Super strict ng parents ko. There was even a time when I was in college, pag summer vacation di ako pinapalabas kahit dadalawin ko lang hs classmate ko na 15 minutes away lang sa bahay. :/

Even now na I'm in my 20s na, strict pa din although siyempre I have more freedom na. Pag nagpapaalam ako ng maayos palaging galit or kung malalate ng uwi palaging manenermon/mangongonsensiya na kesyo hinihintay akong makauwi bago sila matutulog. Kakaloka. Even moving out is an issue, sa grabeng dramahan ang punta.

Ang ginagawa ko na lang pag nalalate ng uwi I say it's work related, dun lang sila di umaangal. When I receive a sermon, sa kabilang tenga ang labas. Haha. This isn't a solution talaga guys, just saying na this is how I cope.

For parents, hay sana recognize din that your children need to socialize and see the outside world and that you can't keep them cooped up forever.

[tisaygirl123]

Gawin nyong barkada trip, para di halata. Magyaya kayo ng ibang friends, group travel kunwari. Tell your parents you are all staying in one family room/hostel, para di sila mag-worry na dalawa lang kayo ni BF. This was what I did para maka-travel with an ex-bf years ago. Hahaha!

Same, ganyan din ginagawa namin ng mga friends ko.
pero sometimes dalawa lang kami talaga, pag naghhnap ng pictures it tell them "later nalang"

pero ang totoo walang group pictures kasi dalawa nga lang kami haha!

[minnie99]

Thanks mga sis. Yes, mahirap talaga na kaming dalawa lang ni BF, so yung HK trip sa January, actually si BF pa ang sabit doon kasi originally, friends lang ang kasama (but I really intended to invite him! Hehe).

Nakakatawa, I'm now taking up my master's degree, so gabi yung class ko. ABA, hindi pa tapos ang class ko, hinahanap na ako. Nakakaloka. So ang ginagawa ko, pag wala akong class, gumagawa ako ng lakad kasi minsan lang. Nakaka-frustrate kasi na I miss out on a lot of things with the barkada dahil hindi ako pwedeng gabihin. Sometimes, I feel left out. Sabi naman ng best friend ko, I should take it as a sign na mas mature ako sa iba naming friends. Sila kasi lagi na lang inom, etc.

Ewan ko, I know dangerous talaga dahil ang daming krimen na pwedeng maganap, pero paano mo naman ma-e-enjoy buhay mo kung lagi ka na lang takot? Hehe.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

I can never really understand stric parents. That by being like this they're teaching their children to lie and they are actually implanting seeds of rebellion and hard feelings against themselves.

[TysLolakins]

kaya noong araw,  if you want to move out of your parents realm/roof,  either you elope or get pregnant.  then wala ng magagawa ang mga 'rents,  nandiyan na yan, sasabihin nila.
we are parents of grown children pero hindi kami strict as long as they know not to get into trouble. sure they drink they smoke,  BUT WE DID THE SAME at their age!  sabi namin ni hubster,  hypocrite naman kami kung pagbabawalan namin sila when we did the exact same thing.
but in defense of your parents,  pag wala pa talaga sa bahay,  talagang hinihintay at hindi makatulog until your kids are safely at home.  but unlike them, we don't impose curfews,  you guys are old enough to know that you have responsibilities  esp on week nights when you have to be at work the following day.   and hindi kami nagse-sermon,  you should already know by now what is right/wrong/appropriate behaviour.
i guess it boils down to trust and respect between the parents and grown children.  we as parents had our chance to mold you and instill good values to you growing up, as adults now it's your time to show that all that effort didn't go to waste.  that's all we can ask from our kids.
anyway,  mahirap na talagang baguhin ang parenting style sa pinas, di ba?  sometimes the parents face a dilemma too,  if too strict, then kids rebel,  if too lenient, then kids get into trouble.  i guess find a happy medium na lang,  whatever works.
yes there's no reaching an understanding with the parents diyan.  basta sinabi ng tatay at nanay,  you'll just have to accept it and be done with it.  there's no reasoning with them  kasi hindi ganyan ang culture natin.  what the parents say is the law, ika nga, as long as you still live under their roof. 

[quinone]

... they are actually implanting seeds of rebellion and hard feelings against themselves.

ako rin, ganyan ang tingin ko

[Angelite]

If you can afford and you believe that you are responsible (meaning you can prove to them na mapagkakatiwalaan ka nila at hindi buntis agad) then get your own place. Matututo ka pang maging independent.

I think kaya naman 'excited' gumimik mga young adults with strict parents kasi sabik sa gala or sabik sa independence/liberty. Whereas yung ibang okay lang naman lumabas-labas eh hindi naman gaanong big deal ito.