kabit, kabit at puro na lang kabit (thread 3)

[m_lim]

mga sis, pansin ko ang mga Kabit ngayon, sila pa ang api apihan ang drama.

sila pa yung tingin sa Legal Wife, masama, aswang, masama ugali!

fave line nila ngayon- nagmahal lang ako! wala akong kasalanan. Pwe!!

[gab54]

Correct! mga kab!tch ngayon, proud pa sila ipost sa FB or instagram mga pix nila w/ married man! nang aasar at palaban! makakapal na ang mukha, malalakas na ang loob, mas matapang pa sa legal wife!   

[Girltalker2]

i stopped believing na may isang lalaki na faithful until the end.
LAHAT sila, no matter how kind, stable, happy they are... minsan sa buhay nila, magiging unfaithful sila.
Im sorry if i have to generalize.
Right now, mas madali na lang tanggapin na ganun talaga sila kesa you believe that they wont do anything and you'll get hurt sooo much when they do it.

I agree sis  na marami silang unfaithful.  Pero hindi lahat.  At pagdating sa Pinoy kasi nasa Pinas ka, marami talaga.

But that does not mean na one has to tolerate it.  Nasa sa iyo naman iyon if you want to live in hurt or live in happiness. And for me, the only way to free yourself from the hurt is leave and start anew, and have a positive disposition --- not easy but one has no choice because we only have one life to live.

[indigo.tulle]

^  iyan ang sinasabi ko, pag umamin, anong magagawa mo? 

First, you have to be ready to walk out. Kasi pag sinabi nya oo, take it or leave it.  Are you ready to leave?

Pag hindi ka pa handa umalis, ano iyan, you are at his mercy?  Para ka nang basahan na inapak apakan, and yet tatanggapin mo parin because you cannot leave? 

Second alternative kasi kung di mo pa kaya umalis, puede mo lokohin ang sarili by saying, hindi ka naman nya iniwan, so at least mahal ka parin nya.  At least to console yourself at para hindi ka maloka kakaisip how he is with other women.

Its not me but my cousin's situation. College days pa pala nangyayari ito with her hubby and ngayon lang niya nalaman. Naaawa ako kasi kung nagger man siya, mabait siya talaga (siya lang ang tumulong sa amin nung walang wala kami) and wala kang masasabi on how devoted she is with her family, moreso sa anak nila.

She feels stuck in the situation kasi housewife siya and with young children pa....na wala siyang mapupuntahan din if she choose to leave.....

[Girltalker2]

^ Sis, that's why in these kinds of situation, sobrang mahirap. Para kang namatayan, and paulit ulit pa everytime you remember.

Especially in your cousin's situation, she then has to find a way out. Otherwise, lagi syang ganyan. Sobrang torture for her.  At some point, wives who feel they don't have a way out can feel trapped.  I felt this at some point and it was really hard to get out.  But thank God, I eventually was able to escape the agony.  I just hope that she can cope and surpass this hardship she is encountering now.  Yes she can pray and it will pass, but it will not happen if she will just sit around.  Iyan ang natutunan ko.  Something has to be done - either kausapin nya ng masinsinan ang asawa, magcounseling sila, try to salvage what can be salvaged. Kung wala talaga, she has to make herself capable of leaving and standing on her own.

[chewy_bubbles]

In my case, it's not about my relationship with my guy. It's about my parents, actually.

Iniwan kami ng mother ko January 10, 2009. Right after ng birthday ng father ko, January 9. How sweet di ba? Ginawa pa niyang dahilan na nag away kami, tapos after ilang days or weeks nalaman namin na dun siya nagpunta sa kabit niya. If I know, humanap lang siya ng way para makaalis at ako pa sinisisi niya.

After a year or two, medyo nawawala na galit naming magkakapatid. Namimiss din namin siya siyempre. She's our mother after all. Kaya lang parang bang sa kanya, wala lang yung ginawa niya. Kung umasta siya, para bang wala siyang kasalanan samin. I wasn't able to continue studying since she left. Hindi ko na natapos yung second year ko sa college. I had to work para matulungan father ko. Yung bunso namin, he was just on the second grade that time. Iyak siya ng iyak kapag papasok. Dati kasi mother ko naghahatid sa kanya sa school, feeling ko nahihiya siya na wala na siyang nanay. Sobrang naaawa ako sa kanya, kasi talagang nagwawala siya at iyak nang iyak kasi ayaw niyang pumasok. Yung sister ko rin iyak nang iyak nung umalis siya. My father, though hindi siya umiyak sa harap namin, I knew how did that broke his heart apart. Mahal na mahal niya yung mother ko, and kahit ilang beses nagloko pinalampas niya at pinatawad. He even asked her to fix things up between them and kakalimutan niya lahat nang nangyari. Ang sagot ng mother ko, "Pano kung ayoko na?" Walang nagawa yung father ko but to leave the house, pumasok siya sa work. Normal pa rin, ginawa pa rin niya kung anong responsobility niya samin. Almost a year na rin na hindi sila nagtatabi matulog ng father ko, we knew then na may problema. Hindi sumasama samin pagtulog mother ko, tapos laging may kausap and katext every night. Imagine, inendure yun ng father ko just because gusto niyang isave yung family namin kahit gaano kasakit sa kanya. Until that time nga, kinoconfront na niya yung mother ko, pero ganun pa rin. Hindi niya pinaalis nang bahay or pinalalayas, kahit pa nahuhuli na niya.

January, this year lang, tumawag siya samin asking for help kasi sinasaktan siya nung kabit niya. I had no plans of going there to help her, and so my father. Kaso yung lola ko, mother ng mother ko, kasama namin siya sa house. She asked us na sunduin na yung mother ko. Sobra respeto ng father ko kay lola, kahit mother-in-law lang parang nanay talaga ang turing niya. And kami din mahal na mahal namin si lola, kaya kami napilitan puntahan yung mother ko. Sinundo namin, pinagamot ko pa siya cause he had a cut on her finger and may bruise siya sa hita. Madaling araw na kami nakauwi kasi nagpa blotter pa kami. Ayaw niyang ipakulong ang hayop. Sorry for the word, but that's how I see her lover. Pinatulog namin sa bahay, tinanggap namin. Kinabukasan, pumasok ako sa work pati yung sister ko ang my father. Excited kaming umuwi ng sister ko, wondering kung ano nang mangyayari. Excited kaming makita siya, like the old days, doing the household chores. Ipaghahain kami and sabay sabay kaming magdidinner. To our surprise, wala siya paguwi namin. Sabi ng lola bumili lang daw ng gamot tapos ang tagal bumalik. Hinintay namin siyang umuwi, hanggang nung mga sumunod na araw. Kaso wala. She left us for the second time at ipinagpalit kami sa kabit niya. Hindi ko maimagine kung anong klase siyang ina.

Ngayon ko naramdaman ulit yung galit sa kanya nang sobra. Andami niyang inabala tapos ganun lang ulit. Hindi na siya nahiya samin pati sa nanay niya na ang tanda na,siya pa umaako lahat ng responsibilidad niya sa amin dahil sa selfishness niya at ng kabit niya. Tumatawag siya samin and nagtetext, tapos tatanungin kami kung bakit kami ganun magsalita sa kanya. How on earth na hindi niya alam kung bakit di ba? At sa mga sinasabi niya saming mga anak niya, parang kami pa yung masama dahil galit kami sa kanya. I do not know pero parang feeling ko may problema na siya psychologically. Sobrang naawa rin ako sa father ko kasi wala siyang mahingahan ng sama ng loob dahil lahat kami ayaw na namin siyang pagusapan. Hindi ko alam kung gano kasakit yun sa kanya pero alam ko masakit. Kung kami ngang anak, ganun na lang ang galit, pano pa kaya siya.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit itong mga kabit na to, natitiis ng konsensya na manira ng pamilya. At sa mga magulang, kung bakit nila natitiis na iwanan ang pamilya nila lalo na ang mga anak nila, kapalit ng sarili nilang kagustuhan.

Sorry ang haba ng story ko, ngayon lang ako nakakita ng forum na pwede kong ishare yung ganitong pangyayari sa buhay namin. Nakarelate kasi ako sa topic. Sobrang galit na galit ako sa mga kabit at may kabit!

[Girltalker2]

^ chewy_bubbles, ang sakit naman ng ginawa at ginagawa ng mom mo. 
hindi ko nga din alam o ang ipapayo sa anak ng mga nangangaliwa.  pero most common trait nila iyan, walang konsyensya.  sorry for the term, pero parang you are all better off if wala na sya sa buhay ninyo kesa paulit ulit ang sakit na ginagawa nya.

Actually ako ngayon ang dilemma ko is how to let the kids understand.  Kasi ang problem is they love their father.  They cannot understand na ginawa ko lang ang dapat kong gawin (leave the marriage) because I had to protect myself from the hurt because it is already destroying me.  Moreso, ayaw ko makagawian nila ang ways ng tatay nila na tinotolerate ko lang at ok lang sakin because IT IS NOT OK and THEY should never emulate him.

[zee87]

I agree sis  na marami silang unfaithful.  Pero hindi lahat.  At pagdating sa Pinoy kasi nasa Pinas ka, marami talaga.

But that does not mean na one has to tolerate it.  Nasa sa iyo naman iyon if you want to live in hurt or live in happiness. And for me, the only way to free yourself from the hurt is leave and start anew, and have a positive disposition --- not easy but one has no choice because we only have one life to live.

that's the sad thing talaga about men.
They became unfaithful, tapos the options that we have is to stay or to move on.
If you choose to stay, mukha kang t****.. believing that it's because of the love that's why you stay.
If you choose to move on, panibagong simula ulet. back to zero. Makikipag date, makikipag relasyon, mag aaway, maghihiwalay.

Kung sana there's a man na talagang faithful, the only thing that you have to think about is mag level up sa relationship nyo.

Do i sound so negative? sorry....

[Shadow Angel]

^^wala kayo magagawa about sa mon nyo nasa stage sya na lulong pa sa pag ibig kuno nya dun sa guy kahit pa nga sinasaktan sya. Let her go balang araw malalaman din nya kung ano nawala sa kanya kahit ano pa gawin nyo hindi yan makikinig sa inyo sarili nya lang makakapag decide kung ano talaga gusto nya. Kung lagi nyo sya tatanggapin paulit ulit lang ang magiging scenario.

[indigo.tulle]

update sisses with what's going on with my cousin...

she has been asking his barkada kahit anong info (she's in good terms with them lahat) about dun sa girl (we don't believe he is still telling the truth about it kasi pabago bago ng story) and wala talagang may alam.  yung hubby lang talaga. 

nalaman ng mom nung guy also what is happening, and he told his mom  upfront to stay out of their family problem.

we're still at ground zero, trying to gather info as much as possible and wala pa rin kaming nakukuha. 

at this point, ang dating is parang he is trying to protect the kabit, huh? 
yun kasi ang lumalabas dahil
1) his story is changing; we've searched online with the name he gave and nothing came up.
2) the only story we have is what he has told my cousin.......galing na nga sa may nagsala, anong credibility niya, di ba?
3) everyone is kept out of their family problem (kami lang ang natatakbuhan niya, her hubby does not know, we know). 
lastly, 4)  he has an Cebu trip today, which he has NOT gone to for a long long time.


@Chewy_bubbles:
Like my cousin, we couldn't comprehend why he would do that, especially when they have 3 children...pero at the end of the day, ang pinag uusapan is, umuuwi siya at humaharap sa family niya with that lie. 

We still don't know anything (lahat ng info galing sa hubby niya) and we fear most now is if may anak din sila. This is the sadder rut she is in.

On the lighter note (than hers), mahirap ma stuck into this negative situation.  Your mom had already made her choice   ... like the glass being half full, for me, you guys should move on. 




@Girltalker2: 
I don't think kids will ever understand until they are mature enough to.  I remember growing up with my parents fighting all the time. We kept wishing that they'd just separate and we'd gladly choose sides easily with my dad.  We love them both but overwhelmed with the negativity that's been going on everyday sa house.  (I admire your courage to stay away from this).

I hadn't realized until I got maturer na it was my dad who had a lot of shortcomings, and my mother working so hard to fill them.....I tell my cousin now, pana-panahon lang yan. 

The truth ALWAYS comes out, nakita na namin yan sa kanya.  Kahit anong galing pa niya magtago, lalabas din yan.  God always finds a way.

I hope, God will give you more courage, love and the wisdom the guide you, as well.

[chewy_bubbles]

@ Girltalker2 Tama ka nga. We're better off without her. Simula nung umalis siya sa amin, naging stronger yung bond ng family namin. And parang naging mas masaya kami, with my father alone. Mabuti na lang talaga, God has given us a responsible and loving father. Yung iba kapag iniwan ng asawa, naglalasing, nananakit ng anak, hindi n ngttrabaho. Parang tumitigil na yung mundo. Pero siya hindi, I adore how strong he is. And how good he is in hiding what he really feels.  Kasi alam ko sobrang nahihirapan siya, pero kita namin sa kanya kung gano siya kasaya na kasama kami. Not unlike my mother. Ganun na nga yung ginagawa namin, we're moving on and moving forward. Actually ayoko na siyang makita, kahit gano ko pa siya kamahal. I want her to realize kung anong ipinagpalit niya. Sooner or later, pag mag isa na siya sa buhay gusto ko magsisi siya. At masaktan din siya, para malaman niya kung anong naramdaman namin.

Pero sis, on your situation naman, tama lang yung ginawa mo. You can't let it happen nang paulit-ulit. Let him realize din kung anong nawala sa kanya. For sure, maiintindihan din yun ng kids mo. Ang gawin mo na lang, just love them and do whatever you can para mapunan yung pagkukulang ng father nila. Your unconditional love for them will help them heal as well. 

[Girltalker2]

Like my cousin, we couldn't comprehend why he would do that, especially when they have 3 children...pero at the end of the day, ang pinag uusapan is, umuuwi siya at humaharap sa family niya with that lie. 

This is the one I cannot take. He does all his activities on the side, tapos uuwi na parang walang nangyari, na ok naman DAW lahat at ikaw bilang wife pa ang nanggugulo kasi hindi ka masaya sa ginagawa nya. Bwiset talaga.

And the only motivation he has sa pag uwi nya is simply because wala naman syang matatakbuhan eh. At ang silbi ng asawa for them is maid na magbabantay ng mga bata, mag aayos ng damit nila at house nila at magaalaga sa kanila pag may sakit sila.


sis, buti nga at least nalalapitan kayo ng cousin mo. ang hirap kaya if you are in her situation. when it happened to me, wala akong malapitan.  but I just wished someone will do the legwork for me kasi nakakapanghina talaga ang situation.   

@ Girltalker2 Tama ka nga. We're better off without her. Simula nung umalis siya sa amin, naging stronger yung bond ng family namin. And parang naging mas masaya kami, with my father alone. Mabuti na lang talaga, God has given us a responsible and loving father. Yung iba kapag iniwan ng asawa, naglalasing, nananakit ng anak, hindi n ngttrabaho. Parang tumitigil na yung mundo. Pero siya hindi, I adore how strong he is. And how good he is in hiding what he really feels.  Kasi alam ko sobrang nahihirapan siya, pero kita namin sa kanya kung gano siya kasaya na kasama kami. Not unlike my mother. Ganun na nga yung ginagawa namin, we're moving on and moving forward. Actually ayoko na siyang makita, kahit gano ko pa siya kamahal. I want her to realize kung anong ipinagpalit niya. Sooner or later, pag mag isa na siya sa buhay gusto ko magsisi siya. At masaktan din siya, para malaman niya kung anong naramdaman namin.

sis, have you ever thought of filing annulment for your dad?  that way, you are all free to move on and talagang tinutuldukan na at least ng dad ninyo ang relasyon with her.  as for you all naman, nasa sa inyo narin if ever you will still contact her in important occasions of your life.


sis, indigo tulle, thanks for your well wishes. it is never easy and your cousin is very lucky to have you help her in these occasions.

we're still at ground zero, trying to gather info as much as possible and wala pa rin kaming nakukuha. 

We still don't know anything (lahat ng info galing sa hubby niya) and we fear most now is if may anak din sila. This is the sadder rut she is in.

Sis, has your cousin planned her next step if ever ma discover ninyo ang katotohanan - whatever it is.  If ever may kabit or may anak sa labas?

Alam mo when I suspected my ex on having a mistress, hindi ko kasi iyan naisip.  I prayed and prayed lang. And yet binigay sakin ng Dyos was worse - binahay na talaga ng ex ko.  Then I prayed and persevered parin. And guess what God gave me!  May anak sila!  Ang galing di ba?  Everything on their side, and nothing happens to me but just the worse of things.  Then I prayer parin, to the point of praying the rosary daily, going to novenas. 

And yet God is so good (I am being sarcastic here).  He gave them a second love child.  Who can take that? After all the patience and waiting, all the sacrifices, all the prayers.  I just had to raise my white flag. It was simply hard to bear.

Sometimes I really wonder how the first wives of famous womanizers (Revillas and Erap) can cope with this.  Nakakabaliw sya eh and it pushes you to the brink of your sanity if you are just to keep this problem all to yourself.

Kaya ngayon sabi ko sa sarili ko, NEVER AGAIN. Of course I am willing to love again if ever it comes but ONLY when the guy deserves it. And if ever mangyari ang cheating or infidelity sakin ulit, I am now wiser to walk out.

[jjqxiv]

Naku mga sis, my husband's kabit is back once again after her long hiatus This time, matapang na ulit sya at ang kapal talaga ng mukha. She found out that I'm having a baby boy, my husband was so happy about it kasi matagal na nyang gusto ng boy. And now, she's accusing me that I'm with another guy. She even told my husband and my daughters that the "father" of my baby is the guy Sinisiraan nya din ako sa mga in-laws ko. Pero syempre hindi nman sila naniniwala.

I will meet my lawyer tomorrow, and I'm really decided to file a case against her. Inuubos nya yung pasensya ko. Kung ayaw na nman sa kanya ng husband ko, wala nman akong magagawa dun pero ako yung ginugulo nya. She's just too much. Sinubukan kong maging mabait pero inabuso nya ako

[Msfi]

^i think may communication pa sila ng husband mo, kasi paano nya nalaman na you'll be having a baby boy?

Better make a legal actions nga, if she don't want to stop.  Basta wag ikaw ang haharap sa kanya.  Always think of your condition. 

[jjqxiv]

Hello sis Msfi! Yes, I think nga din meron pa din. Though when I talked to my husband (via phone), sabi nya wala na daw. Baka daw the girl's stalking me and my daughters. But what do I expect? I'm sure he's lying

She doesn't want to stop until "makuha" nya yung husband ko, I'm filing legal separation anytime soon. As much as possible gusto ko nga bago ako manganak. Yes sis, thank you God bless!

[unwantedP]

^tama si sis Msfi sis, wag kang haharap sa kanya, tsaka with her psycho problem baka ano pa magawa niya sa baby mo lalo na at alam niyang baby boy. grabe naginit ulo ko nung nabasa ko yung mga conditions niya when i back-read, grabe lang sa kapal. buti na lang at hindi naniniwala in-laws mo sis, pero bakit ka niya nasiraan sa daughters mo? bakit may access siya sa daughters mo?

[jjqxiv]

sis unwantedP, Ang kapal ng mukha talaga sis. But as much as possible, iniiwasan kong ma-stress because of her. Yun din yung hindi ko masyadong gets, but I think gusto nyang makuha yung loob ng daughter ko. Nag-text and tinawagan nya yung daughters ko, hindi ko alam kung pa'no nya nakuha yung number nila. But I made them changed their numbers already.

[smoothie]

that is just so psycho. nakakainis ex mo sis. hindi niya ma-control si kabit.

[jjqxiv]

sis smoothie, I'm really considering migration after I give birth. Hindi ko alam kung ano pang pwedeng magawa samin nung girl, specially pag lumabas na si baby boy. Sobrang naiinis na din ako sa kanya, ang condition daw nung girl eh, tanggalin yung communication samin and hindi nya nman daw magawa yun. Hindi nya talaga maayos yung gulong ginawa nya

[snowflakes]

Pasali ulit... I found out na yung kabit ni hubby dati na may asawa na, kabit naman ng friend ni hubby now.
Tinuhog ang magka ibigan. Hahaha kawawa naman asawa nung babae, walang alam na pokpok asawa nya.