Feeling unpretty - advice?

[anachanel]

Confidence is key for me; sometimes I can't control how I feel like (especially during pms season) so I use things that I know do not fail me and present me in a good light. Medyo superficial siya I know but for me, once I have these bases covered, assured ako na I can go through the day. There's a difference between feeling ugly (internally) and giving others an excuse to make you feel ugly. 

My top self-conscious worries and how i assure myself that I'm ok are as follows:

1) do i have bad breath? - i make sure that i don't have bad breath by having a toothbrush in the office as well as a small container of oracare in my bag; if i don't have to worry about my breath, i can have conversations with anyone

2) do i stink? - Use a deodorant / anti perspirant that you trust na tipong kahit super init alam mo na your pits are dry and not smelly; if i'm assured na i don't smell bad, i can be in close contact with other people

3) am i presentable? - as a rule, always have clean hands (especially during meetings where you take notes / type) and feet (especially when wearing sandals / open toed shoes). Also, well ironed clothes help me become at ease. your body language screams your comfort level so if you feel awkward / want to hide something, it would really show.

4) and most important; am I making sense? whenever i have "dumb blonde" moments I really feel like i just want to hide in a corner and disappear; so i make sure to think things through before blurting them out; it's ok for me to seem like a beginner who is interested in learning kaysa naman know-it-all na hindi naman pala.

[simplybrilliant]

Feeling unpretty - ganyan ako eversince i was a kid.
May inferiority complex dahil dito.
Minsan umuubra pa din but I learned how to deal with it.
Gaya ng sabi ng isa sa mga sis natin "ACCEPTANCE".... and learn to appreciate what you have.
We can't have it all naman talaga eh.  So capitalize on what you have like your brains... or your money..=) tama din yung isang sis natin dito kasi when I was financially ok na, I can buy what I want mas naging confident din ako.
Now, wala ako paki kung pango ang ilong ko, maitim ako, maliit ako, ang dami kong scars sa legs... mind you...i wear dress kahit kita ang mga peklat. sabi ko "bakit? mommy naman na ako, I not making pa cute naman na to anyone ha...so wala ako paki sa mga scars ko..hehe".
Of course, my husband always says i'm beautiful pero parang feel ko sabi nya lang kasi husband ko siya..hehe But beauty is in the eye of the beholder talaga. Madami na din ako na meet that they see beauty in me kahit sa sarili ko never ko nakita yun.  There were two friends (guys) na sabi nila they first saw me sa "crowd" (sa class namin), and one even said ako ang muse ng class... (i said whatt???).  Only to find out na ang mga misis nila katipo ko kasi (essentially same features).  Because of that validation from other guys finally naniwala na ako kay husband that I am beautiful in my own way. So un, not all guys are attracted lang sa mga mapuputi or seksi or mahaba ang hair.  Iba iba din ang appreciation nila ng beauty because God made us all beautiful. 

[buzzhang]

Just have enough time to pamper yourself after a week of working hard. Have at least a "me" time just to relax and chill.

[killbill]

there are times din when i feel like s***, but ang ginagawa ko is nag iinvest ako sa mga magandang lingerie, mga nighties, mga sexy na underwear. kahit wala ako bf, natutulog ako in my nighties, magsisindi ng scented candles, maglalagay ng lotion, magsasayaw ako ng sexy mag isa. nakaka boost ng ego. promise!

[inluvewithmikewesten]

I've always felt ugly/unpretty. This year I promise to take care of myself. Masama ba if I resort to cosmetic surgery to look better? They say it's all about confidence, but I can never have confidence if I don't feel good about myself.

[rae]

^ but what if cosmetic surgery doesn't do anything? What if you don't end up with how you want to look like.

Cosmetic surgery can help but it can only do so much.

Think about the confident people who look the exact opposite of how we want to look like. Why are they confident?

I'm still working on confidence and these are the questions I ask myself, these are the questions that keep me from going under the knife.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

I just need a little tweak really, not naman super duper major surgery. I tried working on improving my confidence, nothing worked, sometimes it's not enough especially when you face the mirror and you see there's really something wrong that needs to be corrected and you can start from there. I guess iba iba lang ang mga tao sa pagdadala ng sarili nila. Pero bilib talaga ako dun sa mga tao na bilib sa sarili nila. Mahal ang sarili no matter what.

[anachanel]

Preparation is key to confidence - when at work, come in prepared with your tasks to do, your notes if may meeting, and with the knowledge that you have met all your deadlines. - I kind of picked this one from Chris Tiu during an OraCare interview.

Also, I found that the more confident people could laugh at themselves and even if they are being silly, still exude confidence. Case in point, ashleyslips aka petra mahalimuyak: kahit "barok", or "wapoise" project parin yung voice and her body language really shows that she is in control. (although it helps that she is pretty and sexy to begin with)

[aquacharly]

Nothing like red lipstick &/or red stilettos for a quick fix. 

[k_heart]

After a long and relaxing Christmas Vacation, feeling ko ang pretty ko ngayon. Me and my pink lipstick! : )

[rae]

I realized... 'confidence makes you more attractive' kesa 'attractiveness makes you more confident.'

Nakakatulong yung attractiveness sa confidence pero minsan kasi, kahit gaano ka kaganda, pwedeng mababa pa din self-esteem mo.

[anachanel]

I realized... 'confidence makes you more attractive' kesa 'attractiveness makes you more confident.'

True! Cannot agree more

[harlequeeen]

From my experience, there's not much use to sulk and think about how unpretty you are and compare yourself to others. di rin maiwasan, pero mas lalong nakakadepress. stop doing it deliberately.

instead do something about it. if ayaw mo sa weight mo, magexercise ka. if ayaw mo sa hair mo, magpagupit ka or magextensions ka. daming paraan diyan.

[k_heart]

I think pag feeling unpretty, may mas deeper problem than sa feeling nya na unoretty nya. Ako pag may problem, feeling ko talaga ang panget kp. Pero pag feelibg happy and at peace at secure sa love, feeling pretty talaga akp.

[sprinkledust]

Hi k_heart and everyone who's posted before,

Thanks for all your replies.  I think it's so tough for this girl because she sees so many pretty girls, models on magazines and feels like she's so ugly.

It's so tough for her to feel pretty and good about herself but I'm trying to remember all of your advice. It's really hard to not compare when it's always in front of us.

I think pag feeling unpretty, may mas deeper problem than sa feeling nya na unoretty nya. Ako pag may problem, feeling ko talaga ang panget kp. Pero pag feelibg happy and at peace at secure sa love, feeling pretty talaga akp.

[sprinkledust]

Hi harlequeen,

thanks for your post. It's so burdening when we compare. Even if we don't want to, we see so many pretty girls out there and people want to be like them. You're right people get more depressed when they compare but how does one stop comparing when it's always in front of them seeing all the pretty girls everywhere, artistas on tv and magazines, etc..??

From my experience, there's not much use to sulk and think about how unpretty you are and compare yourself to others. di rin maiwasan, pero mas lalong nakakadepress. stop doing it deliberately.

instead do something about it. if ayaw mo sa weight mo, magexercise ka. if ayaw mo sa hair mo, magpagupit ka or magextensions ka. daming paraan diyan.

[willworkforboots]

This thread super helps.
Feeling so sad now, don't know how to feel beautiful ulit.
Thinking of taking up karate classes, haha! And going to the gym to feel healthy!
I felt I need to really help myself if I want to feel beautiful again. Pray lang din, sisses!

[sprinkledust]

Hey willworkforboots,

We understand what you're feeling and keep going to the gym. Do things that make you happy to feel beautiful!

This thread super helps.
Feeling so sad now, don't know how to feel beautiful ulit.
Thinking of taking up karate classes, haha! And going to the gym to feel healthy!
I felt I need to really help myself if I want to feel beautiful again. Pray lang din, sisses!

[whitelady17]

mga sis, baka kulang lang ng vitamin E, try mo pag take ng Myra 400, maganda kasi ang effect eh, glowing ang skin, lalo na ang face parang ang ganda ganda ng dating. From there, kapag may nakitang improvement sa sarili mismo, from there magsisimula ang confidence pero siyempre hindi ito mag wowork out over night lang.

I also feel insecurities, but not feeling unpretty, insecurity kasi mas maputi siya, mas mahinhin so on and so forth. Once insecurity kicked in, I think about my strength as a person aside from physical looks, such as secured ako financially sa work, I can travel, I conquered 42k. etc. Dito papasok ang yabang mo sa sarili mo, healthy in a way na it reminds you of your achievements na minsan nakakalimutan na. Best example here is Wilma Doesn't, diba when we look at her, hindi natin mahanap ang beauty niya, pero the confidence she has, panalo mainly because her mother feed her everyday na maganda siya noong bata, so kahit anong sabihin sa kaniya ng ibang tao kiber lang kasi alam niya na maganda siya. Moral lesson love, acceptance and believe in yourself na maganda tayo, maganda ka.

Lastly, the best part is that if we see someone who is more prettier than us, don't bring them down, "maganda lang kasi maputi, dahil sa make-up etc" learn to accept the fact na laging merong taong "mas" sa atin, mas maganda, mas matalino, mas mabilis. lahat na, merong laging mas magaling sa atin, then ask them about their beauty regimen, beauty secrets most of them naman will be willing to share sa mga beauty rituals nila.

[sprinkledust]

Hi whitelady17,

Yup you're right. Maybe it's part of our human nature to feel jealous because someone is prettier than us.  But you're right, we should just try to find the good things about ourselves even though sometimes it's so hard when the person is so sad and doesn't love themselves.

Thanks for your post.

mga sis, baka kulang lang ng vitamin E, try mo pag take ng Myra 400, maganda kasi ang effect eh, glowing ang skin, lalo na ang face parang ang ganda ganda ng dating. From there, kapag may nakitang improvement sa sarili mismo, from there magsisimula ang confidence pero siyempre hindi ito mag wowork out over night lang.

I also feel insecurities, but not feeling unpretty, insecurity kasi mas maputi siya, mas mahinhin so on and so forth. Once insecurity kicked in, I think about my strength as a person aside from physical looks, such as secured ako financially sa work, I can travel, I conquered 42k. etc. Dito papasok ang yabang mo sa sarili mo, healthy in a way na it reminds you of your achievements na minsan nakakalimutan na. Best example here is Wilma Doesn't, diba when we look at her, hindi natin mahanap ang beauty niya, pero the confidence she has, panalo mainly because her mother feed her everyday na maganda siya noong bata, so kahit anong sabihin sa kaniya ng ibang tao kiber lang kasi alam niya na maganda siya. Moral lesson love, acceptance and believe in yourself na maganda tayo, maganda ka.

Lastly, the best part is that if we see someone who is more prettier than us, don't bring them down, "maganda lang kasi maputi, dahil sa make-up etc" learn to accept the fact na laging merong taong "mas" sa atin, mas maganda, mas matalino, mas mabilis. lahat na, merong laging mas magaling sa atin, then ask them about their beauty regimen, beauty secrets most of them naman will be willing to share sa mga beauty rituals nila.