Wives, can you be SUBMISSIVE to your husbands ba talaga?

[Nuriko]

may pagkasubmissive ako at pinagmamalaki yun ng hubby ko sa friends nya.. na sya raw ang hari at maalaga raw ako kaya mega hikayat sya sa friends nya na mag-asawa na kasi masaya raw. fulfilling para sakin kasi feeling ko pinagmamalaki ako ng hubby ko. i don't feel degraded naman sa pagsunod sa kanya kasi feeling ko nagagawa ko talaga yung role ko as a wife pagdating sa decision making, pareho kaming hands on dyan. usually sakin ang idea tas he improves it. minsan pag sa kanya galing yung decision at pumalpak, ok lang kasi hindi naman ako yung tipong mahilig manisi. at pag ako yung pumalpak, sisisihin nya naman ako...tapos uungkatin ko sa kanya yung mga mali nya at ipapamuka ko na kahit ang dami nyang palpak eh wala syang narinig sakin. tapos yun, tatawa na lang sya at lalambingin ako. 2years (and counting) pa lang kaming married btw.

siguro mas ok talaga na submissive yung wife kasi i can see the result naman. we're both happy at madalas sya pa yung bigla na lang kung magtanong kung masaya ako sa kanya or maybe compatible lang talaga kami

[rianne_mallows]

@sleeping_beauty - try mo basahin yung secrets of a fascinating womanhood.. it will explain all your questions na mabuti ...

well i agree with your hubby.. kahit naman sino kapag sinabayan ang init ng ulo eh siguradong away.. kahit hubby, mom, dad, etc mo ganun yun.. hindi naman niya sinabing hindi mo siya pwede kontrahin... konting timing lang naman .. 

i could be wrong ha, but maybe, you being the dominant one in your previous relationships caused it's deterioration   kasi men generally dont like to be dominated...

[kuliglig^^]

I think I can, pero I'm still learning to. See, I'm about to get married pa lang... so hindi pa talaga masyado natatanggal yung single-independence thingy ko. Unti-unti ko pa lang sinasanay yung sarili ko na maging submissive ng bongga.

Minsan nga napapagalitan nya ko, kasi parang sa sobrang independent ko, minsan naiinsulto ko na raw pagkalalaki nya, which is di ko naman sinasadya.. After that talk, I really really tried my best talaga na maging submissive -- mala-kuting submissive.. 

Pero I also told him na wag nya abusuhin yung pagiging submissive ko, pati sa ibang things, talagang may say pa rin ako... Kumbaga parang balanse lang..

[design21]

I was never submissive. I will never be one:) we respect each other.  kaya 50% 50% kami sa decisions. And hindi ako takot sa asawa ko. Why would i? I make my own money, he makes his own. Pag nagalit ang isa, tahimik ang isa. Or else, you will just start to hate each other.

[kookie420]

I'm not totally submissive.  I would still ask for his opinion on things that I believe we should both decide on. I already have a strong personality even before we got married, so I guess he should know that I'm going to be like this forever even if we're already married. This shouldn't change just because he's already my husband 

[Dacian]

sometimes.

[guilleanne]

Separated ang parents ko, so lagi kong iniisip what they have done wrong para hindi ko gawin sa buhay may asawa ko.

One thing I always remember is laging sinasabi ng dad ko sa mom ko ang tapang mo. ang mom kasi hindi patatalo sa issue hagang mauwi sa bugbugan, pati sa bugbugan hindi rin patatalo mom ko, pero in the end mas bugbog sya syempre lalaki papa ko.

Para sakin hindi right term ang submissive but instead SUPPORTIVE lagi sa husband ko. Minsan kahit alam kong palpak, basta hindi major major na bagay ha, I let him make his mistakes and don't blame him afterwards. Pero I always give some inputs, yung suggestive ang dating at hindi yung pang kontra ang effect, when he makes a decision even if my inkling ako na palpak, I'll concur as if I made the same decision, so if it fails, walang sisihan. Away lang yung sisihan eh, saka miski ako naman ayaw ko ng na sisi so bakit ako maninisi, both of us hindi nag sisihan.

Saka minsan may mga discussions like sa palabas sa tv, sa news, sa traffics, pag kontra kami ng views, pag medyo maiinit init na, I let him win it, or sasang ayon na lang ako. So what kung ang views ko eh iba sa kanya, wala namang point system kung mananalo ako sa debate, wala namang award, wala namang cash price, so OO na lang ako. I don't take it personally, hindi ko dinadamdam yun halimbawa kung ano ang mas box office si enteng or si panday. Basta iwas away diba.

Hindi naman dahil supportive/submissive ako sa asawa ako eh kawawa na ako. Actually by doing this, mas gusto ako kakwentuhan ng asawa ko. Pag lumabas yan pag uwi ang daming kwento. Less din away namin and she appreciates me. And because I let him be the man, he treats me like a Queen naman na he always needs to protect. But in reality, very strong din ang personality ko.

[Periwinkle25]

Im trying my best to be one. I think I was brought up with a domineering personality. I get to lead and decide especially at work. Kaya minsan nadadala ko when I'm with him. Haist, super trying hard talaga ako lalo na when I've read the secrets of fascinating womanhood. I tried applying the secrets and I was gladly surprised na strong din pala ang character ng asawa ko. I just had to enable him and believe in what he says. Minsan kasi masyado akong doubtful and expectant. Still a long way to go for me, kasi at times nawawala ako sa lugar, I still go overboard. I just hope my system will get used to it kasi mas nagiging open siya sakin and mas close kami kapag submissive ako.

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

^you're not alone sis. ako din trying hard. alam ko, worth it ang results nito. nahihirapan lang talaga ako na matutunan ang when to shut up. i'm still a work in progress pero nakikita ko sa kanya na the more i shut up, the more he tells me freely what he really feels. hehe

[jhenbreak]

May natutunan ako sa sinabi mo Guilleanne, tama ka.  I'll try that. Thanks!

[curlyhair]

@guilleanne
same here. ako aminado, sobrang submissive, di ako ang nagsasabi, lahat ata ng tao sa paligid namin, in-laws ko at pati sa side ko. they keep on telling me na lagi na lang dw ako masunurin. kasi, i keep on thinking na, kesa mauwi pa sa away, siya na, laging siya na ang panalo. but, me mga times naman na he listens to my opinions. and honestly, mabilis din kasi mag init ulo ni hubby. pag konting kontra, naku, hahaba pa. mas nagger pa siya sa akin. by God's grace na din, i just keep on submitting with my hubby. 

[kwinchesters]

Submissive ako kay hubby dun sa mga areas na may weakness ako at si hubby naman submissive sakin sa mga areas na di nya din expertise. Halimbawa, in terms of handling finances, household concerns, school concerns like low grades or class problems, im the decision maker-he depends on me in this area. Pero pagdating sa patience in all matters, sa work related issues, yung mga major decisions like moving to another place si hubby naman ang decision maker.
Ang sistema namin dito sa house una pa lang-walang label who's the boss. both of us can be submissive to each other in many areas kasi we know naman na may kanya kanyang expertise to handle, so hindi pwedeng isa lang ang matalino dapat dalawa talaga ang nagiisip. saka sobrang supportive si hubby ehh so minsan nga ang scenario halimbawa san kami kakain na resto. tatanungin nya ko tapos sagot ko bahala sya kung san nya gusto,tapos babalik nya sakin kung san ko daw gusto sagot ko naman sya na bahala hanggang sa nagpapalitan lang kami ng tanong ang ending yung anak namin ang tinanong kung san kakain sagot tuloy ng bata wag na kayo magtanungan mag jollibee na lang tayo.

[geekchiq]

i think am one. pero more on give and take naman relationship namin, un nga lang he admits he's more demanding than I am. kaya usually am the one who gives in. but on the matter of decision-making, depende sino ang mas may valid reason siya masusunod. But if we have not come up with a decision yet, I let him decide na lang para walang away. But of course, if there are things na gusto kong mangyari, I still say it to him and since mabait at masunurin naman si hubby, kaya nakukuha ko naman. hehe.

just like sis guilleanne, my parents are separated din and the reason is sobrang tataas ng pride, ayaw mag give-in. ayaw ni dad kinokontra siya, same with my mom. that's why their relationship didn't work. 

[pinkk]

depende sa situation,imo.

[yrrageline96]

At times....ang hirap kasi di ba? Kaya nga ako raw ang Bella Flores ng pamilya namin sabi ng mga anak ko....ganun talaga kako...mother knows best =)

[tashasabs]

Submissive in the sense na I know I'm the wife and I have my limitations. But since my husband is more of the "oo ng oo" type, ako ang madalas gumawa ng desisyon with his input, siyempre. He's okay with our setting. Kapag nagsalita na yun sa ibang bagay, that's the time I know na say niya dapat ang masusunod. I rarely contradict it kasi may point naman siya.

[ayami]

May natutunan ako sa sinabi mo Guilleanne, tama ka.  I'll try that. Thanks!

Same here, dami kong napulot na insight. Sa case nung pinsan ko na nagcheat sa wife nya, he told us na super dominant kasi yung wife niya kaya sya unhappy. Boss din kasi sa office tung wife nya kaya siguro nadadala sa bahay yung attitude ba bossy and all. Natakot tuloy ako kasi masyado masunurin yung asawa ko sakin dahil may attitude problem talaga ako gusto ko ako nasusunod. Only child kasi ako kaya sanay ako na ganun yung case. Sa almost 7 years kaming magkarelasyon ng husband ko ako palagi may say, baka magsawa na sya soon enough kaya lang di ko alam kung pano magsimula magbago. Although palagi naman nya sinasabi ba ok lang sya with me deciding most of the time feel ko pa rin mali talaga.

[mooshminky]

I believe wives can be submissive to their husbands if their husbands are RELIABLE, TRUSTWORTHY, and TREATS YOU WITH EQUAL AMOUNT OF RESPECT.  And if your husband does give you the respect and love you need, he'll treat you as his equal and will value your decisions  :-P

I find it easy to submit since I trust and respect my husband because he equally trusts and respects me too (ie, he submits to me when I also submit to him).   :-)

[mooshminky]

"Although women should submit to their husbands, the Bible also tells men several times how they are supposed to treat their wives. The husband is not to take on the role of the dictator, but should show respect for his wife and her opinions. In fact, Ephesians 5:28-29 exhorts men to love their wives in the same way that they love their own bodies, feeding and caring for them. A man’s love for his wife should be the same as Christ’s love for His body, the church.

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18-19). “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7). From these verses we see that love and respect characterize the roles of both husbands and wives. If these are present, then authority, headship, love, and submission will be no problem for either partner."


So basically, it should be a two-way street for the whole submission thing to work.

[honey-ecclaire]

Yes,At certain times,situation it not about submitting to your to your husband all the time,
If you know your husband well just like yourself,..It will happen naturally.
Communication plays a big role in being submissive you have to know the ros and cons
before submitting yourself.

And I believe that's it's a two way process..