Wives, can you be SUBMISSIVE to your husbands ba talaga?

[1choi_ko9]

Sabi nga sa nila, wives need to SUBMIT to their husbands all the way. And husbands should be the HEAD of the family and not wives. Since sila ang authority.
Wives support lang talaga sa husbands pero ang last say si husband pa rin!

Can you really do it? As in. Lalo na when it comes to decisions in the family?


For me, medyo mahirap. But I'll try since yun pala talaga ang role ng wife. hehe

[freeswan]

we tried, honestly. but it didn't work. instead, naging rocky yung relationship namin. why? it's because of each other's personality and character. my husband is more of the emotional, weak type of person. ako naman ang aggressive, assertive, tough and magaling magstrategize. kumbaga, in terms of planning, i always have the best idea. i'm not saying that my husband is not smart. of course, he is.. and he is very intelligent. kaso procrastinator, walang assertiveness, very gentleman, very polite... in short, OA sa kabaitan na tipong mahuhuli ka sa pila dahil he always gives way. eh ako lagi akong may idea, tapos madetalye ako and d ako napapalagay pag d ko agad nagagawa tapos makapal pa ang mukha ko that's why i always get things done, sometimes, all at the same time dahil magaling din ako magmultitask.

i let my husband lead us, ayon sa awa ng diyos, semplang kami. laging huli sa mga gagawain sa bahay. he felt he could not take charge and i felt, wala akong guide. walang improvement na nangyayari sa buhay namin. kaya hayun, back to normal kami. pero everytime i make a decision, i always ask for his approval. lagi naman niya sinasabi tha the trusts me with the decisions. at siya naman pag may naiisip, if i think it's feasible, ok na rin sa akin. ok lang girsl maglead, wag lang magdamot and always take into consideration na sa marriage, laging may say ang husband pero it's up to both of you kung sino talaga ang nagdedecide.

[honey_iya]

^Parehas tayo sis,ganyan din kami ng asawa ko. kaya tingin tuloy ng mga tao under ko si hubby pero asawa ko na din mismo nagsasabi na siya ang gumagawa ng batas pero ako ang nagpapatupad

[marose17]

Yes.  In important and life-changing decisions, I defer to him generally.  If I happen not to agree with his decision, we talk it over and compromise.

My husband specifically chose the reading from St. Paul's Letter to the Ephesians where this passage can be found when we were planning the liturgy for our nuptial mass. 

If you read the whole passage carefully, you will see that it is not just wives that should submit.  "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands."  The last sentence must be interpreted in the context of the period when St. Paul lived.  It should never be taken in a literal sense.  Fr. Tanseco gave a very inspiring talk during Discovery Weekend on the history of this passage and what it really entails for a married couple to submit to one another.  That is why I agreed with my husband that this should be the second reading in our liturgy.

[AtriaBahdelae]

I wouldn't call it submitting to him, it's more of role-playing.  since sya yung guy, okay eh di sya ang husband and head of the family kuno.. I don't really mind if ganun ang tingin ng ibang tao, na supporting role lang yung sa'kin. I know better naman. LOL

E and I both have strong personalities, and madalas talaga kami mag away nung una about all kinds of stuff pag di kami pareho ng thoughts about that something. but since we got married, we worked on that para mas harmonious and relationship namin.

regarding decisions naman, we talk about it lalo na if it affects both of us. kahit nag di-disagree kami sa ibang bagay, nagkakasundo naman kami most of the time. lalo na pag pinipili namin yung decision ko kase nagtatantrums ako pag hindi nasusunod. 

[aquacharly]

We both have strong personalities, and have our areas of better competence or strengths.

So though the script says for me to submit, submit, submit... he will talk over all big decisions with me.

Basta ako, ayoko nang nguy-nguy nguy-nguy, tampo tampo, pa-dabog-dabog or buntong hininga drama....... you want anything to go whichever way.. sige, just say so.  If I have another take on it, I will be upfront and say so too.  If he still wants his way 100%, sige.  But generally, he adjusts.

But when it comes to the kids, family dynamics and employee management -- he gives way to me.  (And what type of chocolates we stock up on and consume, he gives way to that too.  Lahat kami choc addicts eh.   hehe)

[twelvth_goddess]

Same with aquacharly and freeswan. I have a very strong personality kase and although I like someone who can also direct me, I'm still not the type na kikimi-kimi sa isang sulok or yung yes-yes lang sa lahat ng sinasabe ng husband. I'm also not the type na pwedeng sigaw-sigawan or pagtaasan ng boses kahit nasa public.

Nung mag-bf pa lang kame ng hubby ko, it was very hard for me to mellow down and give way kase im super bratty talaga. When we started living together, nag-alsa balutan pa saken yan si hubby kase sobra na daw.

In our relationship, gusto ko lage kameng joint decision and gustoko we plan things together. Kaya naiinis ako kapag he just lets me do things on my own from deciding where to eat, planning trips, to choosing baby stuff. Kase ang sabe ko sa kanya, yan ang reason kaya naba-bypass ko sya kase sinasanay nya ko na sasabihin ko na lang whatever things I've decided on without asking his opinion. So now sa lahat ng bagay, we make it a point to talk things through and I ask him what he thinks.

There are certain things lang na ako lage ang may last say. Money for example. Although we both bring in money, I get to manage all our finances and pati na din yung pagde-decide kung how it's gonna be spent. Now that we have a baby na, I make sure that we talk about things that would involve our daughter from doctor's appointments to when our daughter would get her earrings.

I remember na nung we started living together he made a mistake of comparing me to the wives of his brothers. Sabe nya sana daw minsan maging submissive ako like their wives. Ang sabe ko sa kanya, yung definition ba nya ng submissive is yung pinapabayaan ng wife na sigawan sya ng hubby kahit anjan kame, or yung basta sinabe ng husband wala ng say ang wife? Then I said, too bad you're with a smart woman. Kung papayag ako na pahiyain ako in public or under=in ako, I'd rather remain single all my life cus that's not my definition of a relationship.

[j a n i z]

we tried, honestly. but it didn't work. instead, naging rocky yung relationship namin. why? it's because of each other's personality and character. my husband is more of the emotional, weak type of person. ako naman ang aggressive, assertive, tough and magaling magstrategize. kumbaga, in terms of planning, i always have the best idea. i'm not saying that my husband is not smart. of course, he is.. and he is very intelligent. kaso procrastinator, walang assertiveness, very gentleman, very polite... in short, OA sa kabaitan na tipong mahuhuli ka sa pila dahil he always gives way. eh ako lagi akong may idea, tapos madetalye ako and d ako napapalagay pag d ko agad nagagawa tapos makapal pa ang mukha ko that's why i always get things done, sometimes, all at the same time dahil magaling din ako magmultitask.

i let my husband lead us, ayon sa awa ng diyos, semplang kami. laging huli sa mga gagawain sa bahay. he felt he could not take charge and i felt, wala akong guide. walang improvement na nangyayari sa buhay namin. kaya hayun, back to normal kami. pero everytime i make a decision, i always ask for his approval. lagi naman niya sinasabi tha the trusts me with the decisions. at siya naman pag may naiisip, if i think it's feasible, ok na rin sa akin. ok lang girsl maglead, wag lang magdamot and always take into consideration na sa marriage, laging may say ang husband pero it's up to both of you kung sino talaga ang nagdedecide.

naku sis, ganitong ganito kami. at dahil dito lumalabas n ang bossy ko daw according to him. kahit pa itanong ko kung ano gusto nya, s huli ako pa din magdecide kase d sya makapgdesisyon agad. kailangan nya iabsorb muna. mabilis kase ako kumilos at madecide. yun tipong habang sinasabi ng bibig ko, nakapagdecide n utak ko. kaya ayun, ang bossy ko daw at lagi kami nagtatampuhan dahil dito.

buti ka pa sis, dumating n s realization hubby mo. ako d pa kaya problema namin to. kahit gusto ko sya hayaan magdecide, naiinip ako. kaya ako n nagsasabi ng dapat gawin tas ok naman s kanya. pero s huli, sumbat pa din skin n bossy ako kahit pumayag naman sya. hay naku... 

[super bratinella]

That is supposed to be how wife is, submissive. I can say that I am a trying hard submissive wife, and I am so bad even the trying hard part thing! So what hubby is doing is training me and constantly reminding me that I should know what the main role of the wife and me, still trying hard.

[wingding]

i tried to be submissive to him pero hindi talaga pwede...parang walang plan and all ang buhay namin..many times i let him do things his way, major palpak palagi...ako kasi yung assertive , maplano type...sya parang wala lang....hayy

[glamorosa_09]

As one preacher puts it, the wife does the 90% of the decision, and the husband the remaining 10%.

Kasama sa 90% yung household decisions, kids' stuff, budgeting... I just don't know kung ano yung 10% na yun, yun na yata yung mga major major decisions...

but an example I can give is yung sa parents ko... it was my father who decided where we will live and grow up. And yung sa parents in law ko, it was my father in law who made the decision to transfer their business location. Both decisions were right for both families.

[freeswan]

sis j a n i z, si hubby na rin mismo nag give up. kasi nakikita niya na hindi umuusad yung buhay namin. mas nakikita niyang may improvement at may nangyayari araw araw sa buhay namin pag ako ang nag iisip ng mga bagay bagay.

si twelvth_goddess, minsan din nacocompare ako ni hubby sa wives ng mga friends niya. sabi ko pasensya. kaya yung mga asawa ng friends nila, sa akin nagkkuwento umiiyak. sabi ko, the next time he will compare me with other wives, he can freely leave the house and walk away. i don't need that kind of crap because as far as i'm concerned, kaya kong mabuhay ng wala siya.

[mrs.S.]

I can say submissive ako kasi most of the time I love my husband being in charge. But I appreciate that side of him na he always ask for my opinion. And then from there whatever decision he makes he will base it on what I think and feel. Pero there are stuff na kailangan ko din i-push siya kasi hindi niya nakikita yung angle ko so I tell him what to do or kung ano ang advantage if we do things my way.

[[-c-h-a-]]

I try to be submissive... pero sometimes pag hindi ko talaga macontrol yun sarili ko na tipong hindi ako matahimik sa gagawin namin, ayun I put my foot down... we go with MY way. Alam rin naman nya na when it reaches that point, sya ang dapat mag give in na...

They may be the head of the family, but I'm the neck... I can move the head where ever I want... (my big fat greek wedding)

[chrlxmyot]

hindi ko talaga kayang maging submissive sa hubby ko kasi naman he's not so good in decision making i hate him saying the words: "pwede na yun" or "madali nalang yun!" kaya siguro nasanay na din siya na most of the things that involves decision making tatanungin niya muna ako kung ano sa palagay ko...hahaha
pero now im trying to be submissive in some little ways..

[silverlilac]

I don't think I can be totally submissive (it's just not in my nature), but being married taught me a much more valuable lesson - that I can completely adjust, let the small things go, and best of all - COMPROMISE.   I think being able to do those things makes me a better partner/wife, as opposed to just being completely submissive kahit wala na sa lugar.

[cherry*coke]

No..i can't and hindi pwede.. immature kasi ang asawa ko.. pag nag submit ako sa kanya..edi para lang kami nag bahay bahayan..

[pinkk]

depends on the big or small situations involved.

[cream_puffs]

i'll try. haha pero mahirap yata. gabriela silang pa naman ako. palaban. haha 

[barefoot_taka]

I have a super strong personality. Si hubby strong din pero mas strong ako eh. Kaya akala ng mga tao under ko sya. Pag may nagbibiro nun we just laugh it off. Pero kanina napagusapan naming mag-asawa yun. Hurt pala sya. May sama pala sya ng loob sa akin kasi ako daw laging nasusunod. .