hi mga sisters,
I'm glad na may na learn kayo from my experience. In a few days, it will be my late hubby's 3rd death anniversary. A few months ago,I went through depression. I stayed at home for almost 2months, I only went out to buy DVDs and food. And for 22hours/day, I was just lying in my bed watching movies or playing games sa laptop ko. Sa kwarto na ako mismo kumakain ng meals ko. I didnt want to talk to anybody and nakakahiya mang sabihin, I went through days when I forgot to take a shower. Buti nalang mababait ang mga kapatid ko so they looked after my daughter's welfare nung mga time na yun. I got depressed because after almost 3years of waiting for him to come back, of wishing my life never changed, I finally realized He's NEVER coming back. Marami akong naging regrets din, I wished I could have done not just better, but my best.
I never had "big" dreams in life... I never wanted to be a doctor, lawyer,etc.I just wanted to be his wife and the mother of his kids, that when I lost him, sa totoo lang di ko alam kung saan ko pupulutin sarili ko. BUT now, I am moving on with life. For our daughter, and for him and for our love. Hindi kasi pwede na sa bad ending magtatapos yung love story namin.
I am in a relationship now, I found this one man who really loves me and my daughter, and everything is a whole new experience for me. SIya yung kailangan ko a tthis point in my life. I was a young girl when I met my hubby, so iba pa ako nun. Now, Im a mature mother of a 6yr old, so marami na rin ang ipinagbago ko. I draw lessons from my experience with hubby and I apply it to this new relationship. Nasa point na ako na I don't let little issues ruin my day kasi sayang lang eh di ba. And I know now how to appreciate my man better because I have lost a partner to death once. Pati hilik niya mahal ko, because for 3 years, everything was silent around me because I was alone.
Although not a day passes by when I don't think of my late hubby, I have finally accepted his passing. Masakit, and although I'm slowly finding my way back, I know part of me will always yearn for him.
And although I now have a reason to smile again, part of me will always love him with a love that surpasses all......