gabby_kc_extra.jpgThis Sunday, keep your eyes glued to your TV set: Sharon Cuneta’s old flame Gabby Concepcion is guesting on her eponymous talk show, Sharon. Gabby will be appearing with daughter KC Concepcion as part of the promotions for their upcoming father-and-daughter movie, I’ll Be There.

The taping was done last June 7 at the Dolphy Theater with diehard fans of the iconic Sharon-Gabby love team screaming excitedly whenever their two idols interacted with each other, PEP.ph reports. When asked about how he felt about the experience, Gabby enthusiastically said that he enjoyed it. Having had little or no chance to talk with Sharon during the years he was in the States, today was a turning point for all three of them, he said. “We were on the set and she [KC] started to cry… now that we're all here in the Philippines, and she saw us together finally in the same show, it really makes her really feel good that we're already okay.”

The good vibes also extended to his ex-wife Sharon. In the show, the Mega Star herself mentioned that a family movie with all three of them participating in it might no longer be a pipe dream, but Gabby reiterated that there were no definite plans. “It would be nice kasi maraming Sharon-Gabbby ang nagtatanong kung puwedeng gumawa kami ng pelikula,” he told PEP.ph. “Sabi ko nga, yeah, it's a nice dream, pero we don't know if it's ever gonna happen. So let's see.”

Like Sharon and Gabby, you might find yourself having trouble maintaining good relations with your ex at the end of a bad marriage. What is an already difficult situation becomes even more complicated when children are involved, but, for their sake, it’s important to maintain a good relationship with your ex.

Having trouble dealing with your ex or co-parent? FN provides you with some pointers to help keep the relationship going smoothly.

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DELAY DEMANDS IN FAVOR OF REQUESTS

Consider how much time you’d like to spend with your children and how much you love them, and remember that your ex frequently feels the same way--but may be limited by other obligations. So be understanding and don’t bombard him with demands. If phrasing the task as a request will get things done just as well, why put added strain on the relationship by stating it as an ultimatum? Your co-parent does have a responsibility to your children, though, so reminding him about his obligations is a must, just not to the point of nagging. Lay out your non-negotiables with him beforehand, as well as the consequences he will have to face if these are not met.


KEEP AN OPEN LINE OF COMMUNICATION

Constant communication is a must for all kinds of relationships, so make sure to have some form of contact with your ex. Shutting off all means of getting in touch with him will only be detrimental to your children as they will grow up without the presence of the other parent. When interacting with your ex, allow him to have a say in matters by making decisions about your children together.


FOCUS ON THE CHILDREN AND WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM

This is no longer about you and your ex’s relationship, so make sure not to put your problems with him at the forefront. You may not love your former partner anymore, but you have to accept that you will both still be involved in the growth of your kids. Instead of thinking of how much pain he has caused you or all his negative attributes, focus on your children and on what you both can do to make sure they get the love and care they deserve.


TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT THE SEPARATION/DIVORCE/ANNULMENT TOGETHER

Children are very likely to blame themselves when their parents’ relationships break up, even if there’s nothing to support this. You and your ex should take the time to sit down with your kids together to assure them that this is not their fault and that, even though changes are occurring, this does not diminish your love for them in any way. You might want to check out Healthy Place’s guide to talking to children about divorce for some additional pointers.

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HAVE A PLAN

Scheduling is a big part of co-parenting, so make sure to arrange your child’s calendar together beforehand. You don’t want your children ending up not getting picked up from school because you both thought it was your turn to take them home. Also settle major issues like medicine, childcare, and educational support from the get-go so that you won’t run into trouble when the subjects arise in the future—that is, you won’t panic come tuition time or when there’s an emergency. If you’re having trouble planning, check out this guide to co-parenting, which includes a detailed parenting plan and checklists.


AGREE ON YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR EX'S NEW PARTNER, AND VICE VERSA

It is only natural that you and your ex will find new partners eventually. Sharon Cuneta, for example, found love in her current husband Senator Kiko Pangilinan, who legally adopted KC and treated her like one of his own. In your case, ask yourself how deeply you want your partner’s new girlfriend to be involved with your children. If your ex already has a new wife or is seriously dating someone, however, it is unrealistic to think they won’t have a say in raising your children. In cases like this, outline a clear set of rules so that you are all aware of your boundaries. 


(Photos courtesy of PEP.ph)

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