On Showbiz Central’s “Behind the Wall” segment last Sunday, actress Rhian Ramos revealed that her parents have yet to give her permission to move out. In a report from Pep.ph, the young star expressed her interest in living in a condo unit by herself but her parents have dissuaded her from doing so. “Kasi, actually, hindi pa lang 'yan yung ayaw nila, e," she is quoted as saying. “Dati, nung gusto ko pa lang matutong mag-drive, ayaw pa ng mommy ko kasi feeling niya, lalabas ako every day.”
Rhian also cites her busy schedule as something that affected her parents’ decision since it diminishes her family time. “…parang 'yon na lang yung natitira sa kanya [my mom], tapos kukunin ko pa. Parang ganun, kung umalis ako,” she says. “Na one night, pumasok nga siya sa room ko na wala siyang sinasabi, bigla na lang umiyak. So, alam ko na 'yon ay dahil nami-miss niya ako."
Despite these usual parental objections to having their offspring move out of the family nest, learning to live on your own is still one of the first steps you take on your journey to independence. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 30—having your own space is a mark of an empowered woman.
It's a fact that if most Filipino parents could have their way, they'd keep their grown children living with them at home forever (and many do, even after they have their own familes!). Even with more and more young Filipinas asserting their independence, there are still those who never leave home until they marry. Living on your own is a bold step towards independence, but are you really ready for it? Or is it just another form of rebellion? Read on and see whether you can make it on your own with these suggestions from Female Network.
1. PREPARE YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY
Having a space that's all yours all the time might feel like it's the best thing in the world, but before you stake your claim, you may want to think about this: living by yourself means a lot of work. You will generally be unable to afford household help and mom won't be there to clean up your messes, either. No matter how tired you may be at the end of the day, you still have to pick up after yourself.
If you’re used to having company all the time, the silence of your new home may be intimidating. There's no friendly chatter to greet you when you come home, and if you're living in an apartment building, there's very little opportunity for you to turn on your TV to full blast.
2. DO YOUR RESEARCH
Ok, you've gotten up the nerve to take the plunge of living on your own, but have you done your homework? Like how far away do you want to live from your family? Will it be convenient for you to get to work from there? What type of space are you looking for exactly? Is the apartment you want within your budget? Make a list of living options and include details such as monthly rent, how big the place is, and what utilities come with it. Map out the environment and the cost of living in the area where you want to make your home.
3. BUILD UP YOUR FUNDS
Unfortunately, dear FN reader, money is a top factor when wanting to move out. Can you really afford to live on your own? Your expenses every month don’t start and end with the rent—you have utility bills, groceries, transportation, entertainment and other miscellaneous expenses to consider. Apart from your salary, make sure that you've got a sizable nest egg to tide you over until you've settled into your new home. You don’t want to end up using up all your funds on your first few days just because you’re not used to watching what you spend! At home, start scrimping and watching your expenses. Make a list of how much you spend everyday down to the last peso, so you have a visual understanding of your funds. It'll be good training for when you’re finally out there on your own.
4. TALK IT OVER WITH YOUR PARENTS
The first step in making a clean transition from baby of the family to homeowner is convincing your parents that you are mature enough to handle the responsibility of living alone. If you're of age and determined to move out, nothing can stop you. But your parent's blessing is a good thing to have, especially if you end up overestimating your capabilities and bite off more than you can chew. Reward their trust in you by making sure they’re included in your plans too. Just set some conditions for all of you to follow (such as visiting times, for example—it’s not moving out if they come over every day!).
FN Tip: A good way to start showing them you can handle things on your own is footing your own bills and expenses at home. Pay your share in the utility bills and buy your own groceries and necessities.
5. HAVE A BACKUP PLAN
Even the best laid plans can go awry so having a Plan B - or even a Plan C - might not be a bad thing. See as many potential homes as you can. And keep your savings healthy so there's an emergency fund you can tap just in case unforseen expenses pop up. But above all else, learn to recognize that you may not just be ready to live by yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should give up, though. Just make sure that you’ll be more equipped the next time around.
(Photo courtesy of PEP.ph)