Are they or aren’t they? Hot stars Anne Curtis and Sam Milby have kept the public guessing since 2006, when they first hooked up while filming Maging Sino Ka Man, through successive breakups and suspected reconciliations. The two have notably coy about their relationship status, admitting to dating on several occasions, but always qualifying that they are no longer “together.”
With the upcoming release of their movie, Babe I Love You, which hits theaters on Black Saturday, April 3, rumors of a romantic reconciliation abound. In a recent story on Pep.ph, Anne said she’s thankful that she and Sam finally seem to have overcome the dynamic of their love-hate relationship: “Ang maganda ngayon, nalagpasan na namin yung silent war namin, yung hindi namin pag-uusap. It's a clean slate and we're starting anew," the actress said. For his part, Sam is appears every inch the supportive costar and ex-boyfriend, appearing with Anne in an exclusive interview with ANC’s Dateline Philippines about the wardrobe malfunction incident in Boracay, in which Anne was inadvertently exposed as her bikini slipped during a performance for variety show ASAP. Whether their reconciliation is indeed the start of a true reunion or whether is it driven by more pragmatic promotional reasons, we’re sure their fans (and showbiz pundits) are relishing the moment and hanging on to the couple’s every move.
Sam and Anne’s story is just one of many on-again, off-again relationships—both in celebrity circles and out. Celebrity couples Sienna Miller and Jude Law, as well as Tea Leoni and David Duchovny, have also reunited, after very messy—and very public—splits. Statistics on more down-to-earth couples, however, also appear to support this trend: according to this article on PsychologyToday.com, 60 percent of adults have been in a reconciled relationship, and fully three-fourths of these have broken up and gotten back together more than once. Not surprisingly, on-again/off-again pairings generate much more stress than more stable relationships—so why do so many couples seem to be willing to, as the cliché goes, give it one more chance?
Most people caught in the perpetual cycle of breaking up and making up actually know—or fear—deep down that the relationship isn’t right, according to the PsychologyToday.com article. But after the reality of separation sinks in, the temptation to return to an old partner can be more reassuring and ultimately more desirable than dealing with loneliness and the prospect of navigating the dating playing field again. In the end, many choose to stick to their comfort zone and return to the relationship. In some cases, time away from former flame can relieve old tensions and highlight happy times together; thus, many partners report improvements in their relationships after each breakup.
With these opposing perspectives—and the confusing emotions that accompany such relationships—what should you do if you find yourself in a situation like this?
TAKE A BREAK
If you find yourself in the break-up stage of the cycle, take advantage of the time apart by engaging in some much-needed reflection. Establish why you’re in the relationship in the first place. Be warned that your current emotional state may affect your overall view of the situation, so be prepared to tackle it objectively—one good way is by listing down the pros and cons of your relationship on paper. This way you can see for yourself if the good points outweigh the bad.
FORGIVE OR FORGET?
If your relationship keeps falling apart because of the same reason, be realistic and accept that this reason will most likely persist—no matter how many times you make up or how many times he says he’s sorry. Ask yourself if you can forgive him this time, and if you’re prepared to forgive him again—and again, and again. Don’t delude yourself that the next time will be different. If it’s a major transgression that you’re just not willing to overlook, resolve to end the relationship right now. If it’s something that doesn’t disturb you too much, let it go, once and for all.
WATCH THAT PATTERN!
Whether you decide to stay or go, be aware that your love-hate relationship with this person is not just about the him—you’ve brought something to this party too. Do your best to identify the self-defeating behaviors and patterns that you’re acting out. This will help you avoid the same pitfalls—in this relationship, or in any new ones you start to build.
(Photo courtesy of Pep.ph)