When asked about why she thinks they got back together, Mylene just answers that it must have been love. “I've always known na mahal ko naman talaga siya. (I’ve always known that I really love him.)” A conversation at a party sparked the flame that has this couple reuniting. "I guess, na-realize namin na mahal namin ang isa't isa. I guess so... Alam, mo yun, like, 'O, okey naman tayo, e.’ Nagkaroon lang ng kaunting glitch kumbaga. (I guess we both realized that we love each other. I guess so…you know, like, ‘We’re all right.’ We just had a few glitches.)"
The trick to making it last the third time around? “Trust sa sarili ko at yung faith sa isang relationship (Trust in myself and faith in a relationship)," Mylene tells PEP.ph. "Not yung being faithful, pero yung faith sa relationship na, 'Puwede naman tayo, e. Okey tayo, e!' Yung gano'n. (Not being faithful, but faith in the relationship as in, ‘We can be together. We’re okay.’ That kind of thing.)"
Like Mylene, have you also rekindled your relationship with your ex? Worried that it’s going to go down in flames? FN gives you a few tips to keep in mind as you rebuild your relationship with your man. Click on a title to find out about it or simply read on:
- Learn from the past
- Lay all the cards on the table
- Determine what each of you can and can’t change
- Know the reasons why
- Time will tell
LEARN FROM THE PAST
Try to avoid repeating old mistakes; first, consider if the good times outweighed the bad and what needs to change this time around. Identify old patterns and behavior that seemed to spark not just the arguments, but the sweet moments as well. This way, you know which ones to keep up in yourselves and encourage in one another, as well as what to watch out for. Remember that the relationship you two have now is different from the one you had before. Enter the relationship with open eyes—find out what’s new about your partner.
LAY ALL THE CARDS ON THE TABLE
Past resentments can be insidious in a renewed relationship. You need to remember your “learnings from the past” and give voice to them. Yes, you know what needs to change, but does he? Be careful not to agitate each other during your much-needed sit down. Be forward but keep it civil. If you both want to be together, you’ll listen to each other.
DETERMINE WHAT EACH OF YOU CAN AND CAN'T CHANGE
Which of these changes are doable? If one or both of you are unwilling, this may just become a new source for bitterness or resentment. Make sure that you lay some ground rules together, and that you understand where you’re both coming from. On the other hand, if neither of you want anything to change, why make the effort to get back together in the first place? You’ll only get caught in a vicious cycle—and we all know how that’s going to end.
KNOW THE REASONS WHY
Are you getting back together as a rebound on your rebound? Did you realize that you both made a mistake when you broke up in the first place? Or have you gotten to the point where you’re different people going into a different sort of relationship from before? Know your whys and wherefores and weigh them; your reasons should be the right ones for you both.
TIME WILL TELL
All the other items that come before this are at least partially dependent on this factor (time). Love the second (or third) time around is a great thing, if it’s really meant to be. But for you to get a good enough perspective of the relationship you’ve left and then come back to, you’ll need time to recover from your last breakup. Take it slow, and enjoy what you have now.
(Photo courtesy of PEP.ph)