- Trust your partner
- Don’t make assumptions
- Spend time with him, but spend time apart too
- Don’t overreact
- Be flattered, not jealous
TRUST YOUR PARTNER
Since jealousy is often a question of insecurity or lack of trust in a relationship, think about what would make you feel more secure, and share this with your boyfriend. If simply sending you a text to let you know when he's going out with friends and another to let you know when he's home safe will help you deal, then request this of him. If he trusts you just as much as you trust him, he will say yes and eventually learn to check in with you on his own. Avoid being clingy as this will only suffocate your man, and urge him to put distance between you as a defense mechanism. Asking him to check in with you from time to time is different from calling him hourly to question him on his exact whereabouts, who he's with, and what he's doing.
DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Your guy may just be naturally friendly or may not even realize his actions seem flirty, so don’t assume that he’s out to replace you with every girl he meets. Rifts can grow out of simple misunderstandings, so think twice and arm yourself with facts before pointing any fingers. If his actions make you very uncomfortable, share your feelings with him in a sensible manner and seek out a compromise. If not, consider reminding yourself of a "he can look, but not touch" policy. After all, you can still appreciate a hot guy, can't you? It doesn't mean you'll go for him, even if he flirts with you. Afford him the same sensibility.
SPEND TIME WITH HIM, BUT SPEND TIME APART TOO
Make time to get to know each other and simply enjoy each other's company. You should also remember, however, that you both have lives outside your relationship. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so encourage him to hang out with his friends, and make sure you take time out to be with your own. During those times you spend apart, channel your energy into learning more about yourself. Take a break from worrying about your man and make sure to occupy yourself with other things. Take a class or step up at work. Learn to love the person that you are independent of your man, so that when you’re together, the time you spend with him will be twice as sweet.
Make a list of the things that make you jealous, and decide whether they're trivial or if you have real cause for jealousy. Many times, the incidents that trigger jealous feelings will be cases of overreaction or overimagination. So the next time you're in a situation that brings out the green-eyed monster in you, take a few calming breaths, count to ten, and remember your list. If this is one of those trivial moments, let it go. If you feel you have real cause, think about it and when you're calmer, talk to your partner about how his or the other woman's actions made you feel.
BE FLATTERED, NOT JEALOUS
There are many things to love about your guy—after all, that's why you're with him, right? And there's no doubt that if you can see how great he is, then other women can too. When they express interest in him, or even when they flirt with him, put your feelings of jealousy away and consider this instead: their interest is a compliment on your great taste in men. Think about how lucky you are to be with your guy, instead of thinking that they may be trying to take him away from you. Of course, when boundaries are crossed, it’s another matter altogether, so figure out your limits and make sure your man knows about them.
Unsure of whether or not you’re possessive of your man? Take FN’s “Are you a possessive girlfriend?” quiz here.
(Photos courtesy of PEP.ph)
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