- Find out what you have in common
- Make the effort to include them in social activities
- Be civil, even when they spark your temper
- Tell them how you feel when they've done something hurtful or offensive
- Try to forgive and forget
FIND OUT WHAT YOU HAVE IN COMMON
Misunderstandings often stem from a difference of perspective or interpretation of events. If you don’t get the other’s point of view, chances are you’ll always be in each other’s face. Think about why your enemies often grate on your nerves. Is it a particular personality quirk that you’re having trouble with or are there a lot?
It’s easier to come to terms with your differences if you have something in common. Find out about their likes and dislikes. Even a simple common interest in the latest shoe line can turn a foe into a friend. It will give you something to talk about and, hopefully, this will lead you to a better understanding of the other person and where she or he is coming from.
MAKE THE EFFORT TO INCLUDE THEM IN SOCIAL ACTIVITIES
One reason you and your enemies could be generating sparks of the negative kind is that you don’t hang out often enough to understand one another’s personalities. Try inviting them to social activities, like a simple coffee date with your common friends or attending a party together. Find out how they behave around people you both know. Do they treat others well but frown at you? Figure out why. The more you hang out with one another, the easier it will be to get to know the real them. Who knows what you’ll discover about them, if only you look closer?
BE CIVIL, EVEN WHEN THEY SPARK YOUR TEMPER
Always treat your enemies with respect, even when they’re testing your limits. Remember to keep things civil, and make sure not to let a calm disagreement degenerate into anger-filled yells and hair-pulling. Getting into catfights will only make you look immature, whereas practicing control will benefit you in the long run.
TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL WHEN THEY’VE DONE SOMETHING HURTFUL OR OFFENSIVE
In the same vein, don’t let your enemies step on your feelings without letting them know about it. Tell them directly about their offense in a calm manner. Be careful not to sound like you’re provoking them, and talk about how you can work on this problem together. Avoid coursing your dissatisfaction through third parties as this will only add fuel to the fire. If you want to fix the problem, it's best to go directly to the source.
TRY TO FORGIVE AND FORGET
Yes, we know it’s clichéd, but it’s a cliché for a reason. Unless you let go of past resentments, any attempts at friendship will continue to be tainted by the anger you're holding on to. It’s not easy, but it's all right to take it slow. Eventually, you’ll get to that point where you can welcome your former enemies with a sincere smile on your face. In the same manner, acknowledge your mistakes if you are in the wrong. Knowing the value of an apology is a sign of a confident woman. Earn your enemies' respect (as well as your own) by showing you can be the better woman.
(Photos courtesy of PEP.ph)
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